how can i make her happy?

Question

well my friends baby was born today.the docter told her her baby had down syndrome,heart problems,and also has dandsindrom.so she called me crying and telling me how her little boy has all those deases.i cryed for her to.i can't stand to see her cry.and plus thats her first baby!how do i make her happy?shes also poor.what if her baby might need surgery?i guess i guess i'll send her 1000$.what else could i do to make her happy?

Answer 1

Well, listening to her is a start and you've done that. Giving her a friends ear is a great thing. While I'm sure the money would help her, I think it's be nice to find her a support group for parents with children with down syndrome. They can perhaps point her in the right direction for getting help with treatment and funding. I'm sure there are some programs out there to help parents who can not afford the medical needs of their child.

But the most important thing, is the thing your already doing...be there for her as a friend.

Answer 2

Speaking as the mom of a lovely 2 year old buy who was born with Down syndrome and a heart defect, I can tell you that your friend is vound to go through a process of grieving and being scared. It is not what she expected, so she is sad. But she needs to know a coupel of things. 1) Down syndrome is not a disease, it's a random genetic condition that causes developmental delays. However...with early intervention therpay, and a lot of love and support, children with Down syndrome can grow up to do just about anything anyone else can do including school, driving and even marriage. 2) she should try not to worry to much about the future, but enjoy her baby now and work day to day to help the baby grow and develop...once she starts seeing the amazing things this child will do, her fears of the future will lessen. 3) My son had open heart surgery when he was 2 months old. Many kids with DS have to have heart surgery, but in almost every case, the surgery is successful and it makes a HUGE difference in how the child develops. In my son's case, he was unable to take more than an ounce of milk at a time before the surgery because he didn't have the energy, within DAYS of the surgery, his food intake doubled and he has grown and thrived ever since. She should speak to the hospital about insurance and funding for the surgery. She can also contact the state office of DDD (Department of Developmental Disabilites). By federal law, therapy MUST be provided to the baby free of charge. That child has rights and your friend needs to learn what those rights are and get her child into the appropriate programs.

There are support groups your friend can join, both on-line and locally. She should contact the local chapter of ARC and ask to speak to a parent-to-parent coordinator to hook her up with other families who have faced the same things. And it is never too early to get the baby into early intervention therapies to help with muscle tone and developmental skills.

It seems like a lot of work, but it becomes routine and the rewards far outweight the struggles. This baby will be loved by so many people and will amaze everyone. Never underestimate the child's abilities because they will surprise you every time.

Money won't fix this...what you can do to help is offer to listen to her. Encourage her and offer to watch the baby for an hour or so , so that your friend can take a nap or go shopping or go for a long walk to "decompress". Having a child with Down syndrome in many ways is a blessing. You appreciate everything so much more and you truly come to appreciate the important things in life.

Oh, and one other thing, your friend may want to teach her child "Baby signs" - sign language, starting around 8 months or so. There are books on the subject, but it is very beneficial if the child has some language delays, they are able to communicate and not get frustrated.

Good luck...just be a good friend to her and the baby...it will all be fine!

Answer 3

Go to visit your friend and her new baby right away. Take a gift for the baby, and a nice card for your friend. Write an encouraging note to her, and remind her that you are there for her to help however you can, or just to listen. Remind her that ALL children are a gift from God, no matter their deformity or limitations. This baby may have the odds against him, but he can still be a blessing and bring joy into the lives of many people!
If she is really poor, and in need of medical services, there should be a social worker on staff at the hospital that can get her set up with different government agencies that provide care and assistance for little or no money. That's why we all pay taxes.
The worst thing that you could do is to avoid her, or her new baby. Be a friend to her and remind her that she has friends, and hopefully family to help her.

Answer 4

I think you need to talk with her and comfort her.

There are many things for her to be unhappy about. Children with Down syndrome often have heart problems. They may be weaker or more sickly than other children if they have heart problems. Often their intelligence is lower than normal and so education is going to be a long term ongoing battle. But it's not too hard and many parents bring up their Down syndrome children to live happy and fulfilled lives.

There are many things for her to be thankful for. Some parents NEVER conceive even though they try and try. She has a child with her genetics, a child of her own. This is going to be a loving anc caring child, even if (s)he may have special needs. Down syndrome children can be very loyal. I've seen cases where parents have been almost frustrated by the way their Down syndrome child sticks to routine come rain or shine, but they are always very proud and love their child very much.

There is a lot for your friend to learn, and this is a difficult time. You should be there. Money alone is not going to solve these problems. A lot of love and caring and pulling together.

Answer 5

So sorry to hear that dear and am touched by your keeness to help. Since the next child that god had to send down to earth had to be one with all those problems, god decided to send it to someone really good and hence he sent it to your freind. There is no choice except accept it as it is. Have you seen 'beautiful mind'...love can cure so many diseases. And what does it matter even if those diseases are not cured. Everything is temporary dear. Comming what you need to do. Just be yourself and tell love the child, express your love your friend. Be patient this is the time for letting her know that yor are there for her...not the time for any action. Good luck.

Answer 6

Sorry to listen this. See, at this time you can't do anything for her, as you already help her with $1000. Give her some her to heal. Time is the best remedy. At the same time you can consult with some physicians & surgeons, regarding this problem.

My dear friend, still lots of good peoples are around us. I feels your friend's problem will sort out very soon.

Answer 7

besides being there for her and comforting her, i think it would be very helpful if you researched these illnesses with her so that you guys can be on the same page, and also it would be VERY helpful if you could talk to a few different foundations, hospitals, etc. and try to find someone who is willing to sponsor her baby for the surgeries, medication, etc. that way, she won't feel so financially drained along with being emotionally and physically exhausted...

Answer 8

just be there for her. you dont need to do everything in the world because you have a life as well. sometimes, people feel useless when helping their friends but IMO, just by staying and being there for them is comfort enough.

Answer 9

Well, obviously, there's nothing you can do to make her "happy". You can stand by her, support her, and even help out with bills, if possible. Just be there, and be strong for her.

Answer 10

it nice for you caring it shows how much you chairish a friend. well you really can't make her happy . just be by herside that should be enough to make her bravefor her son.do whatyou can do for her. oneday god will pay you back.