Female and Male Parents Only? Please Help?? Urgent situation!!!?

Question

What would u do if u just found out your teenage daughter was doing drugs? I'm just so in schock that I couldn't even say anything 2 her and also this week just found out my oldest daughter is pregnant and at the same x I'm honly 36yrs old and also having health problems (Terminally). Any suggestions? I will appreciate any comments or suggestions that I receive.

Answer 1

Okay well... I'm definately not a parent... I'm actually 16... Recently my mom and dad found out I was doing drugs... I got in trouble with the police for assult and I had to tell them... My parents didn't really do anything about it, which prolly seems to most parents a dumb choice... They didn't ground me, they didn't change my curfew... What they did was say I had to be home at some point in the day (I'd go out at 10am come home 12pm then sneak out before 1am and not get home till 4am)... I lied to my parents and told them I was going to stop blazing (smoking weed)... And they believed me... If they had grounded me, I would have rebelled, I wouldnt have come home for curfew, I woulda done more drugs than I was already doing, I woulda started drinking regularly again... We already went thru problems this year when they found out I drank... They grounded me for that so when I did get my freedom back I went crazy with it... But my parents couldn't do anything to make me stop smoking weed, the most they could have done was cut off my allowance... Which they didn't do... But they gave me the responsibility of making the choice to quit on my own... Which I eventually made, they thought I made it a lot sooner than I did... But about 2 weeks ago, I decided I didn't want to keep blazing, so I told all my friends I blaze with that I wasn't blazing anymore... If it's just weed she's into, it's not a big deal really, it doesn't do much harm to the body and it can even help... Some people (including me) use weed to help them through difficult times, if something bad happens to them, they use weed to give them an opertunity to feel that everything will be okay and a chance to forget their problems... If your daughter is doing coke, I don't know what you could do for her, I know lots of girls who do coke, but none of them are addicted, which may be good news... If she's doing crystal meth, she's already addicted and the decision to quit will have to come from her, just show her you are there for her... I have a friend who has been addicted to meth for over a year now, I dont know when she'll be ready to quit, but when she is, she's gonna need help, and I mean rehab... If you caught her doing shroomz, its prolly a one time thing, if she is regularly doing shroomz, you might want to let her know they will eventually make you permanently hallucinate like you do when you are on them... If it was salvia, I don't know anyone who's addicted to that and I dont see it as being too much of a threat... If she was doing heroin, like crystal meth, she will need help... If it was something called angel dust aka PCP, I don't know of anyone addicted to that, but its a very powerful hallucinagen, more powerful than acid (LSD)... If she does acid try and get her to quit before she has a bad trip if she hasnt already had one... If its E aka extacy, tell her its harmful effects and that it will destroy her spinal cord... Its hard to try and help you because you didnt say what drug she's been doing... As for your pregnant daughter, try to support her, how old is she? If she's graduated, she'll need a job... Does she know who the dad is?

If you want to talk to a 16year old girl who's prolly done whatever drug your daughter is into and has dealt with parents feel free to contact me!

Answer 2

I agree with "slipshade". Don't be too shocked, most teenagers want to experiment with drugs somewhere down the line. The time to get worried is when it happens more than once...is that the case? Talk to your daughter about it and if she won't listen to you, then try to find someone who she WILL listen to. Even friends of yours that she trusts or respects. It's hard for teenagers to talk about these sorts of things with their parents, so you could look into someone else talking to her and hearing her out (very important!), and even going so far as saying that that person will not in turn tell you what your daughter said, if need be. I wouldn't condemn her or distance her with punishments, anger ect. I think she needs your supporting right now. There could be reasons behind it: peer pressure, depression, etc. That's why it's important to hear what she has to say.
About your pregnant daughter...how old is she? Support her is the best you can do. A new life coming into this world is a wonderful thing, no matter what the circumstances! Good luck!

Answer 3

Sorry to hear about your illness. I agree with the 15 year old about doing her room etc. But you condition is making you weak and feeling helpless. You all need therapy in order to help you be able to deal with everything that is being thrown your way. Your pregnant daughter will have options, keep the baby, or adoption. Support her. The one that is on drugs is going to be your hardest to handle, this is not going away there is not a quick fix for this. You are going to have to use tough love on her. If you have a church family, lean on them and turn it over to God. Prayer helps so much. God bless you. By the way I had a Daughter that got pg, she is 24 now has a great hubby, 2 beautiful girls and going to school for her BSN and has been on the Dean's list. Big tun around in her life.

Answer 4

In all honesty, you need to talk to your children. Have you spoken to both of them about safe sex, and the use of condoms? Have you talked about drugs?

I have to ask that first, because many parents do not do it. Now I know that teenagers will do what teenagers want to do and cause a few extra grey hairs. (God knows I have a few)

If it were my daughter, my reaction would be based upon what kind of drug. Pot, for example, is bad, but not nearly as serious as something such as heroin for example.

I would set her down and talk to her. Tell her how disappointed I am in her choices, and try (I stress try) to stop the behavior.

As for terminal health problems, it doesn't make it any easier. Parenting is not easy, but I think a good first step is to talk to your daughters. Find out about them and avoid damning them for their actions....try to understand why first...then lower the hammer at the right place.

It's so hard now days to be a parent, but I feel communication is a must. The trouble is talking to teens...they tend to....not listen. But when given the chance to simply talk about themselves and what they want and why they act in certain ways is a good start. I wish I could give better advice, but with only knowing part of the situation, it makes it hard.

Best of luck to you though

Answer 5

Damn. Well I am 15. Go into your daughters room, and STRIP IT!!!!! I meen absoluetly strip it, take everything out accept for her bed and dresser. Even take away some of her favorite clothes. Make it so she comes right home after school, can only do homework, read, and sleeep. No hanging out with friends, sports, or any other activities. No TV, Computer, or Cell Phone. Do this for about a month, then SLOWLY start giving her privelages back. And keep a close eye on her. Monitor her phone calls, stand right next to her when she is talking, and dont let her use any type of communication on the computer. She will never do drugs again.

Answer 6

You need to talk to her, not in an angry way though. She is hopefully only doing it because of 1) her age and 2) maybe she is scared and confused considering you are ill. I know that when i was a teen i did drugs and drank because of confusing things going on at home, there is also a really good book called The Agony of Ectacy, its a true story and i think it has helped a few people that i know.

Answer 7

So, you're looking for someone to raise your daughters. Right? I'm 38, I have a 14 year old. I'm available. (I have to explain this part) I've been single for 6 years. (because I have a kid to raise, no time for adding new exes, I've been staying single on purpose).

Email me if you need a solution to your problem, but when I'm sober tomorrow, I'll need a little more information about you to make a decision about raising your kids without you. And distance may be an issue. I'm in Wisconsin. Where are you?

Well, email me, tell me what's up. If I had thought of "time2findmeawoman" I'd have used it by now. My bad. We'll have to get to know each other. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's raising kids.

And, one other thing... How, exactly, is it that you are dying? What ailment do you have?

Answer 8

so probably, they're very young.. are you a single mom? I s there father around? raising children is very difficult particularly at there ages. You know any mistake of the children really reflects how their parents raise them but i still believe, no parents wanted their children to be like that. Try to talk to them, tell them your situation, i hope they realize what will happen to them if you're gone. It's just a matter of dialogue, in your case now, they have no choice but to face the future.

Answer 9

Your name suggests that you are a single mother. Problem with that is lack of discipline in a home. Results are obvious. You need someone in authority at home to tell your kids to behave. When there is no control, things go haywire. Its too late to do anything. If you are a Christian, ask God to help you in this situation.

Answer 10

Okay the situation is urgent, but please tell me what other gender of parent is there besides female and male?

The drug daughter - if the drug is serious get her professional help, and regardless she is your child, it's your responsibility to talk to her. The pregnant daughter - nothing much to do now, but support her emotionally.