Okay she's not my best friend anymore, but she was when she started sleeping with my then boyfriend of four years. Anyways, I have to show up at her bachelorette party tomorrow. I was asked to be in the wedding but politely declined. How do I do this? I really am over him, but their wedding? Ugh...
2006-08-11 21:03:41 · 23 answers · asked by yumyum 6 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I'm currently single. My only date option would be this one particular guy who happens to be HER ex-boyfriend who was dating her when she cheated on him with MY boyfriend. Oh my god, this all so Jerry Springer, isn't it?
2006-08-11 21:12:24 · update #1
I am SO not into drama. We have a lot of mutual friends who insist that I go because they say it would look "pathetic" if I didn't. Gah!!
2006-08-11 21:14:32 · update #2
Go to the party, wedding and everything else you get invited to..., I call it free drinks and free food, dancing and laughing. Also, don't forget to take a friend with you as well. Preferably someone that enjoys free food and free drink.
2006-08-11 21:13:12 · answer #1 · answered by just42day 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1. Boy are you lucky to have unloaded him as a boyfriend. She's not your friend. They both betrayed your trust & good faith. You don't have to show up for anything or explain why. They both know what they did.
2. It doesn't matter what mutual friends have to say about it — it didn't happen to them, so they don't know how humiliated you felt, after finding out the truth. It's a very awkward situation for you to be around the two.
3. Why should you take on financial burden to dress for the event, and buy them something expensive? If you must, send them a card of congratulations with well wishing. End of association.
4. If you don't end it now, it's going to move on to baby showers, birthdays, and all kinds of events you won't want to attend.
5. Be out of town visiting relatives, or other friends — just go somewhere else. You don't have to be subjected to this uncomfortable situation.
6. If anyone tries to force a guilt trip on you, just tell them, that they are mistaken and you already have other plans made for that day.
7. You are not wed to this group of mutual acquaintances for life. If it isn't working for you, find new friends. Moving on is a natural part of life when you outgrow a situation or involvement.
Good luck and warm regards.
2006-08-11 21:31:02 · answer #2 · answered by mitch 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure why you are bothering to go. Part of going to a wedding (for sure being a part in one) is that you are "saying" that you support the couple in their happily wedded bliss. It sounds like you haven't let bygones be bygones, so don't worry youself with the hardship of even attending.
In a way, your mutual friends are trying to get you to be the "adult" about it. But it sounds like a waste of your time, especially if you and the bride or groom are no longer friends. Treat yourself to a day at the spa (or manicure/pedicure whatever you can afford) instead of attending their wedding.
It boils down to do you want to be friends with this couple.
If so, then go, hold your head up, be gracious and smile.
If not, politely decline and go splurge on some lipstick.
2006-08-12 01:39:12 · answer #3 · answered by not at home 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't see any reason why you HAVE to go at all. I'd put all the distance I could between myself and 'friends' like that...ewww! The only reason I can think of for going to anything related to this couple would be if you're into the drama. Some people do get off on drama so it's your call. Frankly, I wouldn't be anywhere near either of them.
2006-08-11 21:12:56 · answer #4 · answered by cricket 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Who says that you HAVE to show up? If it would bother you to be there, find something else to do that would be more fun. How about taking yourself to a movie that you've been wanting to see? If people ask where you were, simply say that you had a 'previous engagement' or got a 'headache'. Or how about being totally outrageous and simply telling the truth? Just say that even though you're totally over him, you thought attending might make you uncomfortable.
2006-08-11 21:16:09 · answer #5 · answered by Lady Sue 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She isn't a friend. You shouldn't have any communication with either of them. People should understand this and my advice forget about it. On that day go to a spa or have a day of relaxation all to yourself.
Their wedding and bachelorette party isn't your problem so don't give either the time of day.
2006-08-11 21:10:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have got to be kidding! Send the gift with someone else and you don't have to go to the wedding. Why would you want to?
There is no person on earth that would drag me to this wedding given your situation....That is rude to even put you in this situation.
Stay home with a movie and enjoy the quiet.
2006-08-11 21:09:25 · answer #7 · answered by teddybearloverus 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I won't go. Why do things you genuinely dislike doing? Be true to your "self". I would sever ties with her as well as your ex. She stole your bf and your bf cheated on you. Why even be in the presence of such scums? To attend is to be ridiculously, pathetically nice. If you attend you are a doormat that is being stepped on and rubbed with **** stained shoes. It's not a matter of being over him or not. The truth is he cheated on you with your best friend......nothing can change that.
Announce to your other friends that they are no longer your friends and you don't want to have anything to do with them.
2006-08-12 00:10:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
u dont need to go thruogh this. if u dont want to go then just ignore them. go out of town on rthe same day if that helps. ur ex n ur friend should have enough sense to understand why u dint turn up. if they still are cheeky enough toask why tell a balant lie. they dot deserve anything better.
your additional inputs tell me that you havent gotten over the incident. i know it is difficult but u have to move on in life. dating ur friends ex bf wud only tie u down. find a guy who has never known anyone of u n start a new life.
2006-08-11 21:27:14 · answer #9 · answered by urfriendfrlife 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I would not go. The whole scene would just seem to be awkward.
If I understand what you're saying, she was messing with your long-time boyfriend while you were still with him (?)....if that's the case, I wouldn't EVEN go there. In fact, I wouldn't give her the time of day, and even though you're over the guy, it sounds like what happened was just wrong.
Use your best judgment, and good luck with your decision.
2006-08-11 21:19:46 · answer #10 · answered by JC 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋