The monsters are in my closet now...all I have is my bra to defend myself...i was thinking of using it like a sling and hurling my IPOD at these closet critters....killing them instantly... should I do that or strangle them with it in hand to hand combat ?
2006-08-11 20:01:08 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Maybe it's time to send in the kungfoo ninja monkeys.
2006-08-11 20:07:30 · answer #1 · answered by daiisy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No need to get into combat. Find and buy some of those old 60's "troll" dolls on ebay. But one or more in every closet in your place. Get a hold of a real or cassette copy of the William Shatner LP record and put it on so the monsters have to listen to his singing. Leave.
Repeat this once a day for 4 days. The Monsters will leave and go to the house of someone with an opposite astrological sign from yours.
Good luck.
2006-08-12 03:06:05 · answer #2 · answered by urbancoyote 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do the sling thing only if the ipod is equipped with a hard disk.
the nano ipod sucks at monsters - way too light.
Play the "Monster Inc." DVD - the animated flick from Disney. Monsters hate that and will attack your TV instead of you.
Then jump into the closet to get the baseball bat.
You have one there, don't you?
Otherwise hide and pray.
2006-08-12 03:19:10 · answer #3 · answered by Unmountable Bootvolume 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The way to beat a monster is to freak it out more than it can freak YOU out. Usually this can be achieved by acting like a nut. Good strategies:
1. Slide hand-stitched monster-sized (that is, with five arm holes) pink dress under the closet door with a note that says "I'm hoping you'll wear my latest creation to dinner tomorrow... with nothing underneath..."
2. Sit beside the closet door for a few days singing "This Land is Your Land, This Land is My Land" over and over.
3. Tell the monster about your problems with your sibling/parent/co-worker/spouse/lover and make sure to cry a lot as you do it, throwing in random lines like, "I JUST WANT TO BE LOVED, IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK? DO YOU LOVE ME? DO YOU?"
Usually no.1 works. Don't even have to resort to 2 or 3, most weeks.
2006-08-12 03:11:13 · answer #4 · answered by ear help! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Experiment. Try to find out what kind of monsters they are, and what they want. The IPOD idea might work, but it's a one shot deal, and what if you miss? See if you can chase them off with certain types of music, before doing anything drastic. Also, it has been my experience that light generally drives them away, at least temporarily. A Mighty Mouse nightlight could be all you need.
2006-08-12 03:07:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok, firstly, what kind of monsters are they, and secondly, what kind of songs do you have on your ipod. if you throw it at them, they might take it as an offering and go, if they don't like it, they'll disappear then rend your flesh while you sleep.
Alternatively, you could just close your closet and push your bed against it while wearing only your bra to distract them
2006-08-12 03:35:45 · answer #6 · answered by guhralfromhell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move to another closet. Or maybe its time to come out of the closet.
2006-08-12 03:06:36 · answer #7 · answered by JustAskMe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why not try and befriend them and live in peace with them
dont you think war has gone on long enough
they are all gods creatures who may have gone of track a little but he luvs them all even the little fu.kers.
so why not look deep into your heart and see if you can find that light that burns in your soul
if not blast the cu.ts
2006-08-12 03:10:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they went to the closet to sleep?
It is kind of late for even monsters...
Cordially,
John
2006-08-12 03:03:38 · answer #9 · answered by John 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch the movie Monsters Inc. They're not so bad once you get to know them.
2006-08-12 03:18:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋