can any one make me laugh
2006-08-11 19:03:58 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
One day a burglar decides to rob just one house before going on a vacation. He walks around the neighborhood and notices a house that looks particularly unguarded.
Upon seeing this he thinks "Hmm, this'll be REAAAL easy pickins!"
So he breaks into the house and hears the words "Jesus is watching."
So he thinks wtf, you know?
He keeps on hearing this phrase repeated, so decides to go see where the heck this phrase is coming from.
He goes around the house for about a minute and finally comes across a birdcage with a parrot in it.
Upon seeing this, he says to the parrot " Hi Jesus, you're gonna hurt me how?"
Says the parrot "I'm Moses."
Burglar: "Who the hell names their parrot Moses?"
Parrot: "The same people who name their rottweiler Jesus."
2006-08-11 20:45:59 · answer #1 · answered by Darth Vader 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Strange Nun
A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab
driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why is he
staring and he replies, "I have a question to ask you but I
don't want to offend you.
She answers, 'My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're
as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get
a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure
that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find
offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun make out
with me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that:
#1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I am single
and I'm Catholic too!"
The nun says "OK, pull into the next alley."
He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get
back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear
child, said the nun, why are you crying?"
"Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must
confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."
The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way
to a Halloween party."
2006-08-11 19:06:32 · answer #2 · answered by Heather 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I could, I'm VERY funny. However if I make laugh you laugh for a day. If I teach you to laugh you laugh for a life time!
You make your own laughs...
make someone laugh and you'll be happier.
Laugh at yourself! If you can't who can?
Laugh out loud when you think of something funny.
The world has plenty of "serious" thinkers. Have fun, you only get one ride on this merry-go-round.
And I can't resist:
I'll have to do both parts but you'll get the idea.
Knock knock....
Who is it?
Interrupting cow...
Iterurpti...
MOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
See, you have to interurpt them! HAHAHAHA
L.Doc
2006-08-11 19:19:29 · answer #3 · answered by ldoc60 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Q: What goes "clip clop clip clop BANG BANG clip clop clip clop?"
A: An Amish drive-by shooting.
Q: What do the Key Bridge in Virginia & Jimmy Carter have in common?
A: They both go in & out of Rosslyn.
Q: What do former DC mayor Marion Barry & Marilyn Quayle (Dan Quayle's wife) have in common?
A: They both like to blow a little dope.
Q: What do Monica Lewinsky & a Coke machine have in common?
A: They both have a slot that says "insert bill here."
Q: Why do most gay men have mustaches?
A: To hide the stretch marks.
Q: How do you get four gay men on a barstool?
A: Turn it upside down.
2006-08-11 19:05:28 · answer #4 · answered by oaksterdamhippiechick 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You know there's a lot of things that i can do to make you laugh but here's a site that will make you laugh way more!!
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/end.php
2006-08-11 19:06:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Haha. Say this: Goodenhaugan. :) Hahahahahaha! If you knew that Paris Hilton's own illegal pet bit her, you'd laugh. Think about Kirstie Allie's weight. Lol. Hehe.
2006-08-11 19:07:20 · answer #6 · answered by mani boo/poo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ha ha kyon nahi...
ek mendak: tujhe bheja nahi hai
sardar: kyon nahi? hai to sahi
mendak:nahi hai(aur talab mein kudta hai)
sardar: arey...isme suicide karnewali kya baat hai?
aadmi: waiter yaha aao. mere soup mein twig hai
waiter: rukhiye, main abhi branch manager ko bulata hu!
man: waiter, there is a small fly in my soup
waiter: wait sir ill find u a bigger one!
man: waiter, there is a cockroach in my soup
waiter: tht is bcoz the flies are on strike sir!
2006-08-11 19:21:56 · answer #7 · answered by Nocturnal Supremacy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why Do Cowboys have such brown mustaches?
Lookin' Fer Love in all the wrong places.
2006-08-11 19:07:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear that, when I get depressed, I get on yahoo answers and I look at all the dumb questions that people who think they are well adjusted ask!!
that's funny all by it's self!!
2006-08-11 19:07:49 · answer #9 · answered by UPALLNIGHT 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
okay here i have a joke i used to have a parrot named jimmy it could talk 2 it would say hi,bye whats youre name and he could say his own name but its couldnt say feed me SO IT DIED. joke by mitch hedberg if u want to see his stand up vids just tell me ok he is one of the funniest comedians ever
2006-08-11 19:07:48 · answer #10 · answered by ... 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋