my husband lives with his parents. we were living together but he decided that his car was more important than the bills. tells everyone we moved out cause we were getting broken into. not true. well he found a job but it only pays 35% of what he sells. i live with my grandparents as his parents dont want kids around. we have a baby due next week.( we were living together when we found out i was pregnant again.) well i have 2 kids. a girl whos 2 and a boy thats 10 months. i want him to help but all he does is yell at them. he puts his needs 1st. he was helping but then quit. what can i do? they need daddy. gives me $5 a day but i take him to and from work which uses $3 in gas. please help me..
2006-08-11 18:45:34 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
dump the loser and file for child support. he is not a good parent or husband and you deserve better and your kids deserve better then what he is giving you. He does not sound like a grown man at all. Don't stay with him just for the kids. get on with your life so you can be happy and your kids can be taken care of.
2006-08-11 18:50:17 · answer #1 · answered by cyborg_2099 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Being married and having a family is not "he gives me 5$ every day"
You dont even think that "this is my money, so I give you 5$"
Why did he quit? You say he was helping, how is your relationship now? Not living together practically means you are separated, even if you didnt take any further formal steps.
From what you say, the man wants out of the relationship.
A man with 2 kids and a pregnant wife doesnt live with his parents alone, grandparents dont say "we dont want kids around"
I know it is hard and you are very emotional now and you feel alone. But one of my friends in similar situation said this :
"Who in the world is that man that deserves my love after treating me like that? "
Say to yourself: If he doesnt love me, then there is no reason why I should spend time and energy thinking about him and letting him ruin my life. He doesnt deserve it. he goes on with his life and clearly doesnt include you. Dont get fooled if he says :
I love you but...
Real love has no excuses, real love is patient, carring and supporting.
Dont dispair, make up your mind , for the moment foccus on the new baby arriving and dont let yourself get depressed over him.
Once you have the baby and you feel better and are more rational, talk to him in a reasonable way.
Make a list with expences for the kids so that he can see the real needs, tell him if he wants to be a member of this family he should take responsibility.
Otherwise , fing a lawyer and get child support and live your life.
Its better without a man in your life than with a bad one.
2006-08-12 06:23:52 · answer #2 · answered by IRA 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How are you even raising these children on $2, Cound'nt buy diapers for that! Unfortunately you married a boy and not a man. You are probly going to need an attorney to help you out if he doesn't even have the want or that need to take care of his own children, than you will have to go through the court. Im sure they will reward you more than $2 a day in child support. And if he decided the car was more important than bills, why are you taking him to work and putting gas in the tank?
2006-08-12 04:24:46 · answer #3 · answered by LELA 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to call up the district attorney's office and tell them what's going on. You need a court ordered amount of child support coming in for all three kids per month. If he doesn't pay, his *** goes to jail! I hope, too, that with three kids you are able to get a well paying job and have your grandparents watch your kids while you work????
2006-08-12 01:58:50 · answer #4 · answered by Mom of One in Wisconsin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW.... I don't think anyone can make him help out.
Why are you with him? Don't let kids be the knot in a marriage. He sounds like a child himself.
Do YOU need daddy? All children need in a man is that he gives them the opportunity to know what a REAL MAN is. They don't need a sperm donor or a paycheck. You seem to have a dilemma that has one option. Make it on your own and hope to God that He sends you a man that is deserving of you and your children. Also, keep in mind that while most women settle for less than what they need (staying w/the wrong MEN), they forget that they're just bringing their children up in a world that is lacking love, respect, maturity, and morals.
I'll pray for you and your children.
2006-08-14 15:22:57 · answer #5 · answered by ControVerse 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you have a real loser on your hands. Where were you when I was on the market?? You put up with way toooooo much!!! I only have one kid and I pay $700 a month!!! I wish there was some advice I could give you, but he is wrong on so many levels. I wouldn't know where to begin. BE STRONG!!!
P.S. Try going to counseling AND stop having babies with this loser. He sounds like he's a baby and can't handle adult responsibilities and behave like an adult.
2006-08-12 01:59:40 · answer #6 · answered by golddiggalova 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
$60 a month? Wow! I was only getting $40 from my ex. She's always drunk, and never sees our daughter anyway...
They don't need Daddy, they need you. All of you. Don't date, don't even flirt with people. Just understand, (like I did) that you have a job to do. You have children to raise.
I'm a Dad raising a daughter, and doing it all by myself. I know at least 10 other Dad's doing the same thing. We're single parents, just like you. Do like we did, and find a way to support your kids, without outside help. Do it all. You're on your own. Good luck to you.
2006-08-12 06:59:11 · answer #7 · answered by 42ITUS™ 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like areal jerk if you ask me. A real man puts his family first and his Friends second. I know that i love nothing more than doing things for my children, i sacrifice for them all the time. For example there was this new plasmas t.v that i wanted to get this year but my daughter who is a very talented pianist wanted to go on a tour with her teacher and classmates to Washington d.c. It was very expensive but my t.v will have to wait a little bit longer. If he loved you and your children he would sacrifice, instead he is a deadbeat dad you need to find a real man, not a little boy.
2006-08-12 02:54:46 · answer #8 · answered by sincity usa 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to file for a legal separation or a divorce. He is not there for you, and you also have the right to child support. Since he feels that $5 a day is sufficient to raise three children on, I would contact an attorney and get child support. You deserve this.
2006-08-12 01:53:11 · answer #9 · answered by Searcher 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Oh Honey. You need to quit being a spineless wonder. Get counseling ASAP- you're self esteem has to be in the toilet to be putting up with that kind of bull$hit! You're a MOM now. You need to take care of your kids 1st. Talk to a lawyer. Get a child support order. Let him figure out how to get to work himself. WALK AWAY. He doesn't need a mother- he has 1.
2006-08-12 01:59:13 · answer #10 · answered by catkeypurr 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋