she doesnt find herself pretty at ALL even though she's absolutely beautiful. she thinks she's fat and has no self confidence. i live in texas and the temperatrue around here lately has been 100 degrees, and even in that weather she will end up wearing jeans because she thinks if she wears skirts "i'll see her imperfectness and fat." i told her no matter how she looks, she'll always be gorgeous and perfect, but she has a hard time gaining confidence. i've tried everything and i'm out of ideas... what should i do to help her gain confidence? any suggestions would be GREATLY appreciated
2006-08-11 18:21:54 · 12 answers · asked by bob t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I went through that problem with my guy...and he got fed up of my lack of self cofidence...So what he did was one day he said he wanted to dress me up in something he finds hot! First he asked me if I trusted him and I said yes, and then he made me promise him that he can do anything he wants...and took me to a clothing store and had me try on things he thought looked good...and we spent the whole day in the dressing room trying clothes, and then somewhere in the middle I actually liked what he picked out and asked him if he liked it and he said of course I do..I picked it out...and we bought it and I wore it..thinking wow I do look good.
If that doesn't work then maybe, you can ask her why she feels that way..ask her what about you do you think is bad and how can you change it? Then ask her if she thinks you are one of those superficial guys? Ask her if she thinks you will leave her based on what she looks like...? Then tell her, if you weren't attracted to her, you wouldn't be in the relationship...Every relationship begins with an attraction, regardless of what the attraction is...and if you weren't attracted to her, you would have left her...but you are there, with her and that should tell her that you are attracted to her, and love her for the inside and outside and if she still feels a lack of confidence, then she needs to rethink why you are with her.
Another thing you can do is, how about you decorate your room with candles, make sure the lighting is nice and dim...and then ask her to stand in front of the mirror, dressed as if she is going out on a really nice date. Then, while she is in front of the mirror, you can point to everything you think is beautiful about her. Her eyes, her smile, her knees, her toes, her hands, even tell her you think her boobs are pretty nice too...perhaps even compliment her a**...but you get the idea...just tell her what you think makes her beautiful...and then tell her to remember this day, because this are things you love about her, that's why you are attracted to her, and that is why you LOVE her (in addition to her personality) and if she doesn't realize that this is what you think...then she will have to change her thinking because you love her and she needs to realize that.
2006-08-11 18:43:42 · answer #1 · answered by Strawberry 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well you can tell her what my BF tells me. That just because i don't find myself attractive does not mean that He can't. We all have different tastes and i don't have to think i am beautiful because He does. After Him telling me this for some time, i believe Him and amazingly enough it helped my confidence go way up.
Stand her in front of a mirror, with you behind her and ask her what she sees. After she answers say OK, now i listened to what you said and now you listen to what i see. And tell her all the wonderful things you see about her... inside and out.
Hope this helps... and tell your girlfriend that the more confidence she has the more beautiful she will become.
Good luck
2006-08-11 18:28:14 · answer #2 · answered by purple dove 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately nothing YOU do will help her to feel confident. She is going to have to find her own self confidence. Thats why it's called "self" confidence. It sounds like you're doing all you can do to let her know how you feel regarding her beauty. I think you should sit her down and ask her "what do YOU want for YOURSELF and what do YOU need to do to get there... and how can I help?" This is her issue and unfortunately for you it can get really old, really fast being with someone who has such low self esteem. You're going to spend alot of time trying to prove that you find her beautiful. You'll find that a woman who is sure of herself and likes who she is(faults and all) is so much more attractive. You might also want to tell her that you are not in this relationship to convince her that she is pretty. Maybe if she realizes that you are not making her low self esteem issue your issue, that it belongs to her, she might own this problem and do what she needs to do to fix it. You've already told her how you feel about her beauty. signed a 46 year old woman
2006-08-11 19:00:29 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it is nice you are concerned, but it isn't your responsibility to make her feel good about herself. In fact you may be feeding into it by complimenting her too much when she complains about herself. Try telling her the only thing unattractive about her is her attitude about herself! You can't solve this for her. She might even need therapy.
What interest me about this is that I've heard men hate it when women aren't confident and it turns them off. So what attracted you to her to begin with?
2006-08-11 18:26:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I personally am fat and jeans make me look worst. I wear knee length skirts and am dressy all the time. I won't wear shorts, I own one pair that I wear when my bf isn't home...
2006-08-11 18:25:14 · answer #5 · answered by Poestalker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LoL!
I had the same problem... until one day, I lost a bet to my boyfriend and I agreed not to wear make-up for one whole day and wear nothing but his T-shirt and boxers....
Boy, did he give me the BIGGEST, CHEESIEST, smile and the most JAW-DROPPING face when he told me I was beautiful....
Meanwhile, in bed you can compliment on how nice her legs look and set the lights dim or have candles... You can also tell her you adore them because they feel like a goddess' legs!!
Good luck and have fun! *wink*
2006-08-11 18:25:24 · answer #6 · answered by swtxgoodbai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
show her pictures of women that live in India or the Middle East
2006-08-11 18:24:15 · answer #7 · answered by speedyleedy1212 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show her your imperfect side (if any) and tell her that you love her for what she is, moles, bumps, fats and all. Show her through actions and not just words.
2006-08-11 18:24:41 · answer #8 · answered by vivienne_kt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've done all you can do, if she isnt confident after you saying shes beautiful, then she has to figure it out for herself.
2006-08-11 18:24:30 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know when you are in love, you cant see how ugly a girl is,
love goggles are worse than beer goggles\
as soon as you break up, you wont ever go near her again
2006-08-11 18:25:48 · answer #10 · answered by ! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋