What are your best blonde jokes?

Question

No sites please...just a few of your fav blonde jokes. Looking for a laugh.

Answer 1

no ofence to anyone who is blonde
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A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled. "We were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9,10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied.

The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde."

The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mummy, Mummy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mummy?" "No... it's because you're 25."

Answer 2

A blonde went into a curtain store , and requested to buy some pink curtains. The clerk said, " You are in luck, we have a large variety of pink curtains. What size so you need?" The blonde said, "15 inches." The clerk said, " Well that is an unusually small window. Are you sure you measured right?" The blonde said, "Of course I measured right it , It is for my computer, it has windows!" Not real good, but it is a blonde joke.

Answer 3

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:

"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!
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Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.


The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

"I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde went to look and said,

"No, I think these are deer tracks."

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
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A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"

Answer 4

Blonde runs into a clothing store and asks for a coat hanger because she had locked her keys in her car..the girl at the register says..sure..and the blonde runs out. The girl in the store gets curious and goes out to see the blonde with the coathanger trying to "slim-jim" the lock while her blonde friend inside the car say "almost there..left a bit..right a bit.

Q. how many blonde jokes are there?

A. just one..the rest are true stories

Answer 5

four people were in an elevator, a russian, an american, and two blondes. the russian said "hey you guys, the USSR was the first nation to launch something up into space! go sputnik!" the american replied, "well we were the first ones to land on the moon!" and the two blondes said "so what, we are going to be the first two women to land on the sun." the russian and the american asked "how is that possible? the sun is so hot, any metal would melt if it came close to the sun" the blondes replied "oh no, that wont be a problem, we are going at night."

Answer 6

a blondes car got hit well parking so she took it to a car repaor shop and asked the guy to fix her car the car repair guy saw that she was a blonde and decided to have some fun he told her go home and blow in the pipe on the back of ur car to get the dents out so she went home and got on all 4s and blew into the pipe it didnt work so she blew harder didnt work so her neghbor [a nother blonde] walked outside and asked what she was doing she said trying to get the dents out of my car the other blonde said no silly u forgot to role up the windows

Answer 7

two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking.. one blone said to the other, which do you think is farther away, Florida or the moon, the other blonde turns and said helllloooo!! can you see Florida?

Answer 8

Blonde jokes?
omg!
well, i don't make jokes about anyone, well, sumtimes. but i can't think of one about them now.
but they say the dumbest things ever.
like: Do buffalos have wings? aka jessica simpson
like: That's hot. aka paris hilton
like: Like totally like yeah...duh...aka every white girl.
like: Opps i did it again....i'm ur slave....britney spears
and the list goes on...and on...and on...they are total airheads. They skipped the brain line when brains were handed out.

Answer 9

well I'm a blond so i know them all, but my fave. is " y do brunets and redheads tell blond jokes...........they have nothing better 2 do on Saturday nights

Answer 10

simply put..blondes are a joke