How do you cope with losing a parent? Especially if it was unexpected? Please only answer if you experienced.?

Question

I am a daddy’s girl and my father just collapse to his eternal sleep at the young age of 45. He wasn't sick. I later found out that he had a brain aneurysm. I remember all of the good times because that's all we had was good times. I still find myself crying to the point were I can't catch my breath at times. I wake up every morning wishing it was a dream. Anyone has anyway to ease the heartache and pain? Please only answer if you have experienced it because a person that hasn’t has no idea what it feels like. THANKS!!

Answer 1

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My father was close to me and I lost him when he was in his 60s, older but still taken too soon. Sudden death of a close one is like a punch in the stomach, isn;t it? I also lost a son who died in an auto accident, no father should even have to bury a child either. Both are very hard and happened within a year and I understand how you feel. It took a week each time just to try to function normally. I still carry the loss after many years.

I can tell you honestly that it does get better. I think my grieving took about 6 months to a year, but after that, life goes on and you learn to laugh again.

We are not the first ones to face death, and after awhule, you realize that death is a part of life.

I have some comfort in my religious beliefs, although I wouldn't call myself an obsessive religious zealot. I do believe they are somewhere that is better, and they are together. My son holding his grandpa's hand.

I take comfort in their memories, cherish their pictures, and spend some time to honor their birthdays and death anniversaries. I don't obsess about it and after a number of years I find it a happy time, not a continuation of the grieving. I have sat at the cemetary some of those days and enjoyed the quiet place they occupy now. Likely you will too. Your life goes on, live your life to honor your father. He'd love it

Talk with your family and friends about it, it helps. There are counselors and such to help deal with it also, it you think you need it.

Answer 2

I'm very sorry for your loss. Really, I am. I buried both parents before I turned 28. How do you cope? You just do because you have no choice in the matter. And honestly, it's not easier if you know it's coming. My parents were both sick for years and when they died, it was still a major boot in the a$$. In some ways, I almost would rather it had been sudden. Think about it - you never had to watch him getting weak. He was there. Then he was gone. Please don't think I'm trying to minimize your pain, because I'm certainly not. It's not easy either way. Had my parents gone suddenly, I'd probably rather it be the other way.

My advice? Embrace the pain. Feel it. Let yourself cry. Tears are cleansing. I made tapes of songs that reminded me of them. (They have since been upgraded to CDs, but their purpose is the same - to bring memories and tears.) Be angry. If your dad was only 45, you can't be that old. You're entitled to be pi$$ed off about it. The pain will never go away, but eventually it will work its way down to a dull ache.

Most importantly, keep him in your heart. As long as he's there, he'll never really be gone. Don't just embrace the pain, embrace the memories, too. My mom has been gone over 20 years, my dad over 10, and I still talk about them constantly. And I'm not ashamed to admit I still talk TO them, too.

If you ever want to talk, message me, ok? Take care of yourself. You'll be ok. I promise.

Answer 3

Sorry just sounds empty doesn't it right now nothing will make the hurt go away. I lost my mother when I was 27 yrs. old she was 54 and was just gone she had a heart attack. On March 11 of this year my 11 year old grandson died he was very sick but showed no sighs of any thing. so I know loss, and I know that life will keep going no matter how we feel. Crying is a release and is good . as time passes you will start to feel the hurt slipping away a little bit at a time but the missing him will never leave and that big hole in your heart will fill with memories but it will never fill it all. the loss of my mother took me 7 years to deal with .it just hurts and hurts. I have found that talking to Jesus helps, but i also learned we have to listen . your dad is not gone he is just away and one day you will see him again. May the good Lord hold you and comfort you . God Bless You

Answer 4

I have lost a lot of people in my life and though my parents are alive, my grandfather was like a father to me. We were extremely close. I lost him last year and it was very difficult. But then I had to remind myself of what I believe. He is in a better place, much like your father is. I understand your pain in that your father was so young, but many people believe that God takes people when they are closest to him.

Your father is still by your side and he must be hurting to see you hurting. He had to move on because whatever he had to learn in this life was learned. He did not abandon you - believe that. I find the best way to cope with it is to speak to those who passed. I thought it was ridiculous when people told me to try it, but it's such a relief. I started seeing my grandfather in my dreams regularly and we would have "conversations". It was amazing. I know he's around me... I still feel his presence.

Cry and let the pain out. But then try and be at ease that he no longer has to suffer with the pain of this world. I'm sure he would want you to make the most of every moment of your life. Show him that you are still his little girl and you will live your life the way he taught you. Be good to yourself, the way he must have been good to you.

Answer 5

some rather type hearted and efficient human beings have given you some good advice. i could in simple terms upload that it does no good to dangle a label on your self which you're ptsd. once you're saying, even whilst they are actually not around, you hear their voices, that's only one symptom of an entire laundry record of issues that signify ptsd. It might desire to be depressing to ought to hearken to it, I grant you that. yet, someway, 'their' subject has replace into 'your' subject and the activity is to make it their subject - back. We 'rehearse' stuff in our head interior the flawed thought that with the aid of doing so - we are able to unravel it. So, the huge 3 C's spring to ideas: "i did not reason it, I confident as heck can't administration it, nor am i able to treatment it." Make that your mantra for some days or even weeks, placed up it on your make up mirror, write it everywhere. magazine, in case you may (or, AS you may). And, do not enable em take you down. combat on your sanity and protection. At 17 commence a application to alter into emancipated. i'm hoping this facilitates.

Answer 6

It's going to be very tough for a while. My father passed away when I was 18 and it was devastating. Talk to friends and family, it will help.