how i get my daughter to listen to me? she is 3 years old and doesnt listen?

Question

iam a single mother and workin hard, i ask her to help me or spend time with me and if does something bad she throws a temper tamtrums, sometimes slams doors, yells little and cries, sometimes when i feed her supper she doesnt like it and always wants toast,, i wish i knew what i can do to get her to listen more!! thanks all

Answer 1

Get one of Dr. Phils' books on raising kids. If you don't stop this behavior in it's tracks now, you're going to have hell to pay later down the line.

Answer 2

She probably doesn't listen because you are way too excited and talking way too fast. She also knows that eventually if she throws a fit long enough that you will give in. She is smarater than you realize. Make a lists of her bad behavior and then what the concinquences are for that behavior. Sit down with her and tell her, then remind her as necessary. It is even good to applaud her for not doing things bad.

She is growing up and trying to become her own person. Let her make choices when it isn't important. But, be sure you are consistant in what you do ....or she will always push until you break. Also make sure the consquences aren't more than what you can deal with. Like don';t ground a three year old for more than three minutes. thats about all each of you can stand.
Try to get off of the negative track and make her want to be in a more positive mode. Reward her for doing things right. You can tell her that each time she gets into the car without fighting she gets a sticker. When she gets enough stickers she gets to be rewarded (find inexpensive things or activities) Like tell her that by the end of the week if she has twenty stars that she can watch her favorite vidio on saturday with mom and have popcorn.

Watch those Nanny programs. they give so much good advice.

Also, I am a big believer in prevenitive child managment. Never take her out too late, or if she is too tired, or too hungry or too worn out. Don't set her up for her tantrums.

Answer 3

A 3 year old doesn't understand work or being tired...she doesn't understand helping or spending time...her little mind isn't where you are wanting it to be. At this age all she knows is to mock you. If she sees you throwing a tantrum when you're upset then that's what she knows to do. Let her eat what she will but offer her the good stuff. You must be patient! You need to come down to her level and always talk softly. Don't expect her to understand everything that comes out of your mouth. She needs to be taught things with patience and kindness. Perhaps you could get help from a local counselor or someone. Good Luck!

Answer 4

I know exactly what your goin through I have a son that will be 3 next month. It seems like hes been goin through terrible 2's since he learned to walk. Sometimes i dont know what to do so when he starts throwin his fits i just put him in his room and shut the door and let him know that i'm the boss. I make him stay there till he quits flippin out and i have his full attention (which doesnt last very long) its like talkin to the wall behind him. and if he does somethin he knows he's not supposed to do then i make him sit in time out for 5 min. I know its hard to watch your kid cry but you have to get a hold on it now or it will be 10 times worse in a yr or 2. by the way time out works way better than bustin there butts. I tried that too. Hope this helps And you have to do it everyday. I mean you cant do it one day then the next let them get away with somethin there not supposed to be doin. it has to be constant or it will only get worse I learned that too

Answer 5

put a chair in the corner and advise her that she is too old to behave like she does and if she continues she will sit in the corner until she can act like a little girl should. As far as dinner is concerned give her two choices if she does not like it then you make the choice for her and tell her that this is what is for dinner and she can eat it or wait for breakfast, I know that this will be hard but you have to establish rules with no exceptions. I was a single mother for a while and thanks to my grandmother's advice ( the same thing I told you) I have a well mannered 21 year old daughter and five more under her who for the most part are very good. Good luck.

Answer 6

Try talking to her face to face, make eye contact and be stern. If that does not work, tell her you are going to count to 3 and if she does not behave or obey, she will get time out for 3 minutes (since she is 3). When you do have to put her into time out, have her sit in your lap facing the wall and ask her why she is acting up. If you are in public, take her right out to your car. You may also want to explain to her why she is in the corner and why her behavior is unexceptable. Remember be stern, do not yell or get angry. Always stay calm.

Continue this everytime she acts up and she will soon learn what is appropriate behavior and what is not. She will also learn to communicate with you from spending her time out with you teaching her what is wrong and what is right (manners). Manners are very important to teach at a young age, it teaches respect that will stay with them for a lifetime. The child will not only learn to respect others, they will learn to appreciate.

Answer 7

Use a time out method! Pick a spot! use the same place each time! Put her there for 3 minutes at a time! Don't give in !!! Stick wit it and make her sit there! Then tell her why she is there! It is normal for her at this age to want certain foods at this age! Give her a ensure drink and as she gets older she will change! It is hard! I have 4 kids and they are all different! GOD BLESS YOU ALL! bye

Answer 8

i have a three year old too, ithink the not listening comes with age,but you cant give in,no matter how hard she will expect you to break everytime,they push you to see how far you can be pushed.talk to her about what you expect of her ahead of time,you will be suprised how much they understand!tell her toast is for breakfast(or what ever you want) and that you are eating what is in front of you.maybe encourge her that you will do something fun like play a game or walk outside if she does what you ask,stickers for good behavior are great too and not costly.

Answer 9

Do NOT give in to her when she has a temper tantrum. You need to make her understand that you are the mother. Do NOT reward her for her bad behavior.

Punish her for her behavior by taking away a favorite toy or putting her in a short time out.

Give her a hug and tell her that you love her.

Answer 10

Be consistent. 3 year-old children are normally defiant and prone to temper tantrums. They are expressing their independence, and testing limits. If you never waver, she will learn the rules pretty quickly. If you give in to make her stop wailing, or to make her eat supper, or for any other reason, it shows her a weak spot, which she will then expliot. I know, I'm making her sound like a military force, but it's true. Good luck!

Answer 11

Whisper..........or talk to her in a soft loving voice. She picks up on it when you are tired and frustrated. Temper fits aren't much fun without an audience. Tell her that if she must throw a fit that she will have to do so in her bedroom with the door closed, and stick what you say.