Problem with 4 year old daughter pushing 80 year old grandfather?

Question

My daughter who is 4, has pushed my father 3 times, to the point that he pushes her back now. My daughter is out of control 80 percent of the time. My father is sick, and we live in his house with him. My wife is very mad at my father, and threaten to call the cops on him if he does it again. She is making it like he is trying to hurt her, but 1 push from my daughter and my father has a broken hip then or even worse, dies. I am stuck in the middle, and dont know what to do. She will not speak to him, and she is his primary caregiver durning the day. Please help me, what should i do

Answer 1

You need to teach your daughter not to push her elders, and your wife needs to wake up and be more understanding. To me, it sounds like your daughter has lacked discipline and is free to do whatever she wants to do, even if this is not the case she needs to be disciplined.

Answer 2

You have my sympathy to the max, what a piece of hell your going through.

Try to relax here a minute and take a look with new eyes. Your daughter is probably not out of control as much as she needs some type of attention she isnt getting. And don't forget its not how strict or liberal we are with are children that matter but how consistent we are with any discipline.

Now look at your wife, she has a child who needs her, an adult who needs her that she is so mad at she's not speaking too, and I am not saying shes wrong. No one likes to see their child shoved especially by someone they feel dependent on (it;s his house) nor is it a bright way to teach a child not to shove. However lessons for your father who is 80 and not feeling well is not the issue here either.

What you need is peace and love between all concerned. I will pray that your wife finds a way to bridge the distance between your father and her. And that your little girl (they don;t stay little very long my dear, youll feel someday that you blinked twice and she grew up) gets what she needs and learns to play in a more pleasing way to adults, and that the adults around her learn to be pleased a little easier. And I will pray for an increase in your father's health.

You didn't mention if you were working, even if you are maybe you could try to set a liitle time aside for your daugher and for just your wife later on also. Time is something if you don't give now its not like money where you can catch up later, poof and the time you could have given is already given to something else and can never come back.

I am also going to pray that your father and his granddaughter enjoy the time they have together, its never enough.

And I hope other people out there will help me pray for these things for you, they are the things God would want you to have, sometimes we have to help the energy manifest itself. Much love to you and your family, be blessed and blessed be. I think things will start to get better, just give it a little time and humor now.!!!

Answer 3

Your daughter even at 4 needs to be put in time out then. If him pushing her back isn't doing any good. She is old enough to be put in her room to sit for 5 minutes.

Your wife needs to make sure she does it. The time out will show her if she is going to be mean, she has to sit away from everyone. If you let her keep it up, it will be worse when she goes to school.

Your wife, as the caregiver needs to make sure that she doesn't let your daughter harm your father in any way, and she should respect that it is your fathers home. He could always find someone else to take care of him that he won't have to worry about being pushed.

I remember growing up and when you pushed, you got pushed back. I don't think your father is hurting her physically, but she probley acts like she is being murdered, which is why your wife is getting so mad, so when this does happen, you could have your wife try pushing her once or twice...saying if you are going to push Grandpa, then mommy will push you. Being she is the figure of discipline in the home. Time out or that has got work.

Answer 4

Your 4 year old needs to be disciplined. She sounded like she is doing what ever she wants. If she has the run of the house, you are in big trouble. You and your wife are responsible for what goes on in his home and for taking care of him. And that included making your daughter mind-making sure she does not harm him in any way. Your daughter needs to realize that she is hurting him and could cause great harm or death to your father. Sit down with your wife and talk this out with her. Come to an agreement on this. Maybe your daughter needs to go to a daycare during the day while she is taking care of your dad. If you can't control her and your wife won't make her mind, then that is what you should do. Otherwise, start figuring out how to make her mind and agree to it. Your fathers health is important and it's his home. You have to respect that if you're living with him. Good luck.

Answer 5

The reason why you have an out of control daughter is because her mother is out of control!!!

Your daughter has no right to be pushing some grown man. And he is sick. Oh please this is a no brainer, you need to beat your daughters tail and get her mind right, and if your wife says something about it, kick her *** too. Your dad is elderly and sick, last thing he wants to be bothered with is some pain in the *** little girl who aggravates him.

Kids don't know how to be kids.

and for the record... I am a parent of a 10 yr old daughter, and nothing will happen like that EVER!

Answer 6

Your wife can't allow this to happen. An 80 year old man shouldn't be the recipient of physical abuse from anyone, let alone a 4 year old child. My advice would be to never let her be around your father unsupervised. Let your wife know she can't take your daughter's side on this one. If your daughter does end up seriously injuring your father, it could result in severe feelings of guilt when she gets older and lifelong problems.

Answer 7

whoop your childs ***!!! And be a man, and tell your wife to shut up, and stop babing that child from hell. And to have some respect for your father, or she can get to steppin'. Ain't no pussy that good, that you got to let some ***** disrescept your father, the man who brought you into this world, and did everything for you when you couldn't do for yourself. How would she like it if some child pushed her mother, or father.

Answer 8

Start watching Super Nanny on ABC....she puts bratty little kids in a naughty chair(the number of minutes=the childs age), then when their time is up they're to hug you and apologize for what they have done. Good show, entertaining, lol.

Answer 9

You need to use a little discipline, this is uncalled for behavior that you should be putting a stop to.

Answer 10

beat the hell out of your daughter and teach her respect