PLEASE HELP!!! Problems with putting kids to bed?

Question

Kids are 5 (going into kindergarten) and 3 (preschool) she has tried everything: being mean, nice, rewards, and everything else. tonight i took 3 hrs. She has two. they don't listen. What have u used that works? PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!

I am not the mom. My cousin is. She has spanked them, so cut the crap about hitting.

She doesn't lay with them because their is only one of her and the other will get jelous and also because that will teach them bad habbits.

She tries to put them to ed between 6 and 6:30.

Answer 1

Have a good CONSISTENT system, when they know what comes next. Bath, snack, story, bed. End of story. No maknig excuses to stay up (have them use the potty before story time, no glass of water after snack time (prevent getting up and wetting bed). Once they are in their bed, DO NOT let them out of bed. If they get up, don't say anything, just pick them up and move them back into the bed. Do this consistently for a few nights and they'll get the idea eventually. Change the routine and they'll never get it.

Answer 2

Six and six-thirty is way too early to put children to bed!!! I don't know if either may fall asleep during the day, but if they do then that makes it even worse. Being mean never works. It just makes the kids stop respecting you or else think you're a jerk. Being nice doesn't always work (obviously). Kids shouldn't get rewards for doing what they're supposed to be doing anyway. Being reasonable and consistent is what works.

Chances are the five-year-old doesn't fall asleep during the day, but if the three-year-old does she should make sure the kid doesn't have the opportunity to sleep or at least not too long.

They should have dinner. The mother should tell them that after dinner they need to find something calm to play (puzzles, building blocks, television even - just no running around wild). If she has to sit down with them and get the playing going she should do that. She should tell them the plan: You can play quietly for a while. Then we're going to do baths. Then you can play quietly for another little while and have a snack. Tell them the three-year-old is going to go to bed first at 7:30. Announce to them that people 3 go to bed at 7:30, so that's what they'll be going with from now on. Tell the older child that because he's older he can sit and watch tv or look at a book or play quietly while the mother puts the little one in.

She should put the little one in, read a quick story, and say "night". Tell the little one the other one will be in later.

Ideally, if the little one is alone he may fall asleep by 8:00. If he doesn't he doesn't, but then the routine with the story and the night-night for the older one should happen on schedule.

This gives each child a little special time with his mother. It breaks up the thing about two kids fooling around because they're both supposed to be in bed. It gives the older child the feeling that he's got a little privilege because he's a little older. The kids may actually kind of like this one-at-time thing, but if they don't at least they should adjust in a fairly short time. It turns bed time into special-attention time or special-privilege time. It is consistent. It is reasonable.

Answer 3

What I did with my son was made a chart on a poster board of things that had to be done before bed that way he would know when all those things were done that it was bed time. Like before he could read, I found little stickers of like a tooth brush, pajamas, and whatever else is included in the night time ritual of getting ready for bed. It took a while for him to get the hang of it, but I allowed no deviasion from this chart or when bed time was. But the kicker to making this work was that after each thing that he got done I let him put a sticker on the board under the picture. I think it took about a week to get into the routine but he liked being able to put the stickers on it and once that day was filled he knew it was bed time and no more problem.

Answer 4

I stole this from the Supernanny and it really works.
Put the kids in thier beds and have stories. Then you sit just out of arms lengh from the child. Sit on the floor and don't look at the child. Everytime the child gets out of bed you put them back in. Don't talk to them at all. They will soon realize that it is not worth the trouble of getting about of bed. Keep doing this night after night and slowly inch your way out of the room. Maybe every few days move closer to the door. I use this with my two year old step son and he is alseep within ten minutes. Now I just sit outside the door, where he can still see me. The trick is to not look at them or speak to them. The first couple of night will be rought, but it sounds that way already.
The kids are doing this becasue they want mom's attention. Set aside some time during the day when she only plays with one child. I know it is hard but it works.

6:00 sounds a little bit early. Try putting them to bed a little be later. Also try telling them "Ok after this show it is bedtime" or setting the timer on the stove and explain to them that when the timer goes off it is time for bed. Also make sure they are doing a quiet activity before for bed, like watching TV or having some quiet play time with dad.

Answer 5

- whatever you might try, give it several nights of trying. It may not work the first night, but after a few consistent nights of trying, it will work
- what might work for the 5 year old may not work for the 3 year old
- have a bedtime routine and stick to it
- put them to bed around 7, 7:30
- lay with each one a few minutes. Maybe lay on the couch with both of them for some "snuggle time". Or lay with the youngest first and tell the older one he/she gets to read in bed until you get there (a reward for being the oldest).
- ask them how they would like to go to bed (would they like to sing? Have their back rubbed? Read? Sprinkle anti-monster dust around the closets? Wish on a star? Let them pick how to end the day.

Answer 6

I have two girls the same ages. This is what FINALLY worked for us. Our oldest would not go to sleep before 2am. So, we started making a routine. Go potty, brush your teeth, read a story, etc. Then I would sit in a chair in the room. Just sit there, do not talk. Each night get closer and closer to the door. Finally, tell them you will be sitting downstairs if they need anything. Once we started this and could leave the room, I set up a game for her to play. We got posterboard and stickers. I made ten squares on the poster board, and connected them some how. Example: I made a slide going from one square to the other. Every night that she went to bed and stayed in bed all night long, we would give her a sticker when she woke up. After ten stickers, we repainted her room (it needed it anyways). We took her to Home Depot and gave her about three colors to chose from, then we all painted it together(get the really small rollers for them). This worked like a charm. She was so excited to be in her room at night, that she hardly ever gets up anymore. It's not every night like it was, which is great. It will take a lot of time and patience, but it will happen. Good luck to you, I remember those long nights.

Answer 7

I have a 6 and a 4, they are mini con artist. I had to learn thier trick. I now make sure that before bedtime, i take time to read a book to them and spend time with them. I told someonelse too that my two daughters love rewards, and things. I have a chart on the fridge, on Monday's we write down what they have to work on like going to bed without getting up. Everyday they dont I have to take a favorite toy away, they try to fight and everything else, but now they are learning that in order to go to the nail shop with me or to get an extra 5 minutes up they have to follow the rules. I use to even have a gate to just put up so they could only go to the bathroom or the bed at night. Stay on them and be firm with your punishment. Don't let people tell you its horrible to punish your kids. Im firm with my kids even though they are small, but they do understand, and if you give in that's when they keep going. Make sure when you take the favorite toy you say why and put it where they can see it to ask for it, so you will say NO and tell why. If you go to bed good for 2 nights then you get it back. It's hard but it works. i have two girls. They are my little conartist. I love them though. It will take awhile but don't get fustrated thats what they wait for.

Answer 8

Tell your cousin to go to the Love and Logic website and check out some of their books or DVDs on parenting toddlers. Sounds as if the kids have all the control in this family. That is sad for everyone as it will only get worse. Kids need to learn that the parents are in charge and what they say goes. No need for spanking if you follow through with consequences. Kids learn from consequences both good and bad. Mean what you say, say what you mean but don't say it mean.

Kids will get it if you don't wimp out on them. We teach people including our kids how to treat us. You don't have to lay down with them. You give them choices before you put them down, choices you can live with, like Do you want a drink or not? Do you want to sleep with covers on or off? Those kinds of choices. Do you want a story or not? You give them choices you can live with only. Then you put them in bed and leave the room. You don't go back in. They will go to sleep when they are tired. You can't make them go to sleep. You can make them stay in their room. If they known you mean it and won't give in - after a while - they will stop trying and bedtime will get much easier.

Check out Love and Logic. It's one of the best parenting programs I've ever seen. Simple and it works!

Good luck.

Answer 9

"Trying everything" may be part of the problem. Children need routines, and you have to stick with the same routine for at least 3 to up to 5 days straight before the children will realize that you mean business. You need to get them prepared for bed - not just all of a sudden say "Ok, bed time" and expect them to drop off. First, determine what their bedtime should be...probably for these ages, 8 PM at the latest. Give them "last call" that bedtime is coming up in 20 minutes. After 20 minutes, go through your routine - a bath or reading some calming books (nothing where they have to yell out the answers, for example). The 5 year old may even be able to vocalize what he/she would like to do before bed. Explain that what they choose as their routine is what is going to happen every night (within reason - you as the parent get final call). Granted, some things may be non-negotiable (brushing teeth, washing face, etc.). Then follow the routine (for example - bath, 2 books, song, bed, kiss) - realize that this may take 1/2 hour to do, so build that into the time you are willing to spend with them as they settle down. Once you put them in bed, leave the room. If they come out, explain to them ONCE that they must stay in their bed for the night. For the older one, you may want to explain that he doesn't have to go to sleep right away if he is not tired, but he must stay in his bed and cannot play with anything that would wake up the younger child (maybe he can have an extra book to read in bed or something). If either of them get out of bed again, calmly lead them back to bed without saying anything. Continue doing this until they get the idea to stay in bed. This "putting them back to bed calmly" step is the hardest to do, because you can start losing your cool, and depending on the child, the first few nights can take a few hours (which you are spending anyways trying to get them to bed). However, if you can continue doing a routine and putting them back to bed without getting mad or saying anything, within 3 -5 nights they will be going to bed without a problem.

We tried this method with our daughter - it really works! Go Supernanny!

Answer 10

I need a little more information here. What time is she trying to put them to bed? What time do they wake up in the morning? Do they still take naps? I took naps away from my kids at a very early age. When my kids were that age, I kept them busy all day. My son used to ask me if it was bedtime yet hahaha because he would be tired. My kids did not watch a lot of TV. They were always outside playing, and at the end of the day, I would give them a warm bath, put the TV on, and give them their favorite snack, and nature would take its course. Water relaxes you, even little kids, especially after a hard day at play.