Please someone tell me what's wrong with a 43 y/o woman sleeping in the same bed with her 13 y/o son?

Question

Someone out there has to have some "negative" views on this situation and please tell me some possible outcomes (positive or negative) of this situation. Positive views are also welcome.

There is an extra bed in the house they just chose to sleep together, I am 100% against it even though I have no reason not to trust the 2 people, I just think it's wrong.

Answer 1

Whats wrong with it? Maybe they are like best friends. I dont see one problem with it, seriously. Most 13 year olds dont want to sleep with their mom, but if he wants to, then what will it hurt? I have 4 kids ages 10, 8, 7 and 3....my 3 year old sleeps with me every night, and the other ones take turns most of the time. Ive never read or heard of any psychological problems that come from it. If anything, I think it shows that the child feels safe and secure with the parent. I look forward to bedtime actually....because we lay down and read, talk, and say our prayers together. Its a positive thing to me. I hope that my kids always feel that comfortable with me. Its our job as parents to provide security to them...and that is just the enforcer to me.

Answer 2

Nothing as long as there's no funny business going on. All situations are different and for u, it may be that ur house is quite small and so u and ur son may have to share a bed. Or he may still be afraid of sleeping alone, or he may just like sleeping with u. But that doesn't make it wrong. At the same time however if it happens daily, u'll need to monitor this because u wouldn't want ur son to be a full grown man and still sleeping with his mother - that would just be wrong. I think u should explain to him that though there's nothing wrong with him sleeping with u every once in a while, he still needs to sleep in his own bed. He's growing up now and as such, he needs his own me time to reflect and ponder over his life and being able to sleep in his room alone is a sign of maturity on his part. Be gentle yet firm when showing him the importance of sleeping in his bed more often.

Answer 3

A boy old enough to get an erection or have wet dreams shouldn't be in the same bed as his mother. Even if it is innocent on her part, the shame and embarassment that boy may go through should either of the above happen could scar his sexual and emotional development. A boy that age needs his privacy, not his Mom sleeping 6 inches from him while he has an erection.

I see no positive outcome from this situation.

Answer 4

It is socially unacceptable in our culture. That being said it is not real good for him emotionally. How would your son react if his friend knew about his sleeping arrangements? It would probably be a good idea to find out why this sleeping arrange exists and to know what your place is in the family structure. The fact that this sleeping arrangement is not common practice should send up red flags and cause anyone finding out about it to question it. Is it because of nightmares etc..... This matter requires some looking into. I would advise you to get some information and deal with it one way or the other rather quickly. Good Luck

Answer 5

A thirteen year old boy should not be sleeping in the same bed as his mother. He's probably starting to go through puberty and would be very embarrassed to have a wet dream while in bed with his mom. He'd be teased relentlessly by his school mate if they found out what was going on. It might be okay on occasion if you're traveling or staying with family or friends and there aren't enough beds for him to have his own. He's a big boy and needs his own bed. Mom should have another adult in her bed if she feels she needs a warm body beside her.

Answer 6

I am 44 with a 13 year old son and can imagine sharing a bed with him!!! This is wrong in so many ways. As an adult you should not be using you son as a substitute spouse/boyfriend. And I am not implying that anything sexual is going on.

As for him this could cause him major problems. When boys his age hit puberty they start to get aroused by women's bodies. You wouldn't want him thinking of you in a sexual way would you? And can you imagine if his friends found out.

Please stop this and get some counseling!

Answer 7

Maybe it is YOUR dirty mind that needs to be looked at here!
MIND YOUR BUSINESS! If she is not HURTING him then find something else to do!
Some people need to share beds and sleeping areas.
We cannot all be rich and own our own beds.
NOW if she has a husband and the son is coming between THEM...that is a problem...
BUT sleeping in the same bed is just sleeping!
Why would WE have negative views not everyone has SICK MINDS!

Answer 8

Developmentally the 13 year old child should be "separating" from his mother and his need to sleep with his mother (or her need to sleep with him) indicates a dysfunctional bonding between the two. At 13, his peers start becoming a large influence in his life (remember when you started to not care what your parents thought and cared more about your friends' opinions?) He is also sexually maturing and may start to associate mom as a sexual being. 13 year old boys need a lot of privacy to explore their yearnings and doing it next to mom is not normal.

Answer 9

Ok if they are just hanging out and watching TV and happen to fall asleep, or maybe ok if the son has a mental disability and needs comfort and love of his mom longer. Not really socially normal if the kid is of normal intelligence. I would find this a bit strange if it happens on a regular basis.

Answer 10

Since you know the situation....tell us the family has a house fire and she had no other choice but to do that.
Besides.....it's her son. She bore him to the world. Tell me you wouldn't let your son get in bed with you. I slept with my 20 year old brother when I was younger due to our sister needing a bed of her own.
I know what you are trying to say but it's under an assumprtion.