Dad's 84. Mom's 81. He's going fast and she's not far behind. She can't walk but a few steps and out of breath.On oxygen & inhalers. Just wondering if anybody else has had same experience with both parents being so ill at the same time and what you have to say about it.
2006-08-11 15:05:54 · 16 answers · asked by Mamaw 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am so sorry about your situation (actually, your parents situation as well, but it is so very hard on you to have to watch it). My mom passed last Monday at 5:30am. I loved her so much and miss her. My dad passed about two years ago, he was a quadriplegic from an auto accident, but he lived for 20 years and made it to 70 (he was only supposed to live for 5 to 10 years). My mom was 70 as well. Mother beat stage 3 lung cancer five years ago, but that damn emphysema got her in the end. I just want to send good thoughts to you, I can't really help you. I would have to sit at the computer and type about 30 pages about all of the things that you are going to have to do. If you feel overwhelmed, you need to go to a support group and get advice about where you can find financial, mental, and physical help and support. Nobody answering these questions on this site can offer you anything of value other than good wishes. Search the Internet for local places that can provide you with help and advice for your question.
2006-08-11 15:23:10 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very sorry to hear that you are having to go threw all this. I kind of know how you feel.
My dad is 83 and mom is 72 until next month. Both are in very bad shape right now. Both have had strokes since the unexpected death of my brother, Jan. 2,2005. Dad has also now got a bad heart and mom is really getting sick as well, neither one of them goes out side much any more at all.
The only thing I know to tell you is to do the same thing that I am doing with mine. Spend as much time with them both now and enjoy them as much as you possibly can now while you can. Help them with any thing that they need. And make sure you tell them that you LOVE them every chance that you get.
2006-08-11 15:20:07 · answer #2 · answered by SapphireB 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom took care of her parents, and they died within a few months of each other of cancer.
I also lost my parents within 8 months of each other. They each went suddenly though, and I didn't have to see them suffer.
The only advice I can offer is that when they do go, they won't be in pain anymore. And for you, each day will be better than the last. It's something you'll never get over, but you can learn to live with your pain.
I feel so bad for you. I've never experienced anything more painful than losing my parents. Just hang in there and show them how much you love them. Don't leave anything unsaid. That way, there will be less of the, "I should've done this ..."
2006-08-11 15:16:48 · answer #3 · answered by Lady J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my heart goes out to you I have been there, my mom and my grandma had cancer and i was very close to both. Hospice Care (or palliative care) can help you get thru this hard time. they are kind wonderful people who know exactly what your going thru and help make sure your dad will be comfortable, they will let you know what to expect and help with the unexpected. you can find them in the phone book or your parents doctor.
for your mom don't let anyone smoke around her, keep her oxygen away from flame. if she can walk around and is attached to a oxygen tank or machine, check the hoses often for kinks. they stop the flow of aire and she wont realize it until her breathing is really shallow
talk to friends let them know how your feeling, lean on others, don't keep it in, it hurts worse when you do.
tell your parents you love them and when you feel overwhelmed stop and just breathe.
i hope this helps
Jan
2006-08-11 15:25:33 · answer #4 · answered by landingimages 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I haven't had your experience, but I'm certain it must be very difficult for you. Who do you have around you to help and be a moral comfort for you? I think that the support of other people and our own relationship with the Lord God are the only things that help us through in these times. My husband just went through emergency surgery so I understand a little maybe of your feelings, and my folks are getting older. But both at once--
if you don't have anyone ask the hospital for help from a hospital chaplain, and ask them to spend some time with you each day. Sometimes we have to ask for help, and it's usually at the time it's hardest to do that.
God bless. I will pray for you and for them. Maggie
2006-08-11 15:15:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry this is happening to you.May god be with you in these difficult time. I know things like these the heart doesnt want to accept but the best thing to do is accept that this was GOD will.And that your parents will be at peace and resting after so much pain. Just dedicate your last precious time with your parents showing and telling them how much you love them. and express what ever feeling you feel inside. PRAY alot and spend time with friends and family no one should be alone during times like these. Its a shame that life ends when you least expect it. much love to you and family.
2006-08-11 15:33:46 · answer #6 · answered by manuel5 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both my parents died within 10 days of each other.It is overwhelming and at first you can't believe it is real.Somehow you get through it.We expected my dad's death because he was so ill so it was a blessing to see him at rest. Our mother came as a total shock. She walked into the emergency room and 2 hours later she was gone.It still feels surreal.Try to be there for your parents as best you can in life and you will not have to cope with unnecessary guilt.I have one sympathy card that had a comforting sentiment."Grief ,like a wave has a rhythm of its own.At first,it comes sweeping in,then it recedes,leaving us in quiet peace with the treasures of memory,love, and strength that it carries to our shore." Till grief recedes and peace sustains and loving memory remains,my thoughts will be with you.
2006-08-11 16:01:19 · answer #7 · answered by gussie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not necessarily the same problems but....my aunt got diagnosed with cancer and died about 2-3 years later and my pap was old and getting old and sick and then he got diagnosed with skin cancer......he didn't die from the cancer but it was only like a year between the deaths....then my uncle got sick maybe a year or two later...some kind of infection and died about 2-3 months after going into the hospital.....all i can say is stay strong and keep the people you love most close to you and as long as you have each other you'll get through it...when all this was happening we were always with my aunt and pap and uncle......and when we werent with them we were all down at my house my mum dad other uncle brothers cousins.....just keep your family close to you....and help each other get through it.....
2006-08-11 15:35:35 · answer #8 · answered by Rosie : 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have lost both my parents but not so close together, My heart aches for you. Be sure to tell them everything you want to while they are still here. Do your best, remember God will not put on you more than you can handle. You are stronger then you think. You and your parents are in my thoughts and prayers. May God Bless.
2006-08-11 15:15:11 · answer #9 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My great grandma was the same way. I sorry that this is happening to you, but think about it this way, they will be in a better place and everything happens for a reason. help them have a good time of what they can. Very Sorry. Also pray that always helps.
2006-08-11 15:12:24 · answer #10 · answered by masterurownmind 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋