Is this considered reportable sexual harassment?

Question

A male coworker would ask me all these personal questions like have I ever wondered about the differences between black and white genitalia (he's black), was I a virgin, was I dating anyone, why wasn't I dating anyone. The only one I answered was about dating, since I'm not dating anyone because it's not a priority for me right now. Anyway, he would also come over to my desk and grab my arms to see how muscular they are, which made me quite uncomfortable, and one day he said that for a white girl, I have a booty even though I'm not heavy. Not really a compliment.

Fortunately, I changed offices and walk the long way around so I don't have to pass his desk anymore, but I saw him today. I was at the snack table and he sneaks up behind me and grabs me in a sideways hug and won't let go even though I try to pry his arms off. I say "Let go" but he doesn't right away. When he finally does, he doesn't apologize or say anything, but 2 people saw him do this. It's not "serious" but....

It's a weird situation though..he's one of those popular/funny/friendly people that everyone likes, plus he has a higher position than I do (but he's not my boss or anything), and I feel like no one would believe me, since I've only been there 4 months and he's been there about 5 yrs. I thought about just talking to my boss (who is female) about it but she'll probably say that he's just flirting or being friendly. I don't know.

Also, I'm worried because he is black and could accuse me of being racist, which is stupid because I would hate him if he were white or anything else. And it seems to be getting worse. I go out of my way not to see him, but I've been running into him these past few days. And about telling my boss, I have a feeling that she thinks I like him because she saw us at the cafeteria together and we used to talk together before he got creepy. But the people who saw him grab me today must know that I didn't like it. I just hate thinking about it.

Thanks for all your feedback, really. Sometimes I think I'm just paranoid and should deal with it, that it's not a huge deal. but I've been getting so angry about it. i hate myself for not saying anything. before all this, I would see movies/tv shows about sexual harassment and think that I would tell my boss right away if anything like that happened to me, but i'm not doing this now, and I feel ashamed to call myself a feminist.

Answer 1

you got me in your first sentance. That is sexual harrassment in itself. Be careful reporting it though, as it can often be turned back on you as being your fault or causing you to lose your job or be labelled a 'troublemaker'. Pull him aside and say, "hey, I know you are trying to be friendly but this is making me feel uncomfortable" and tell him that if he doesnt cool it off you will take it further. Talk to other office workers and see if anyone else has had this problem with him, perhaps you are not the only one and that others like yourself have just blown it off or not said anything. If there is more than one of you who have had this problem with him, it will make your case alot stronger should you chose to pursue it.

Answer 2

Yes, it is considered sexual harrassment. He made remarks that were inapprorpriate and made you uncomfortable. You ask him to let go when he hugs you and he does it and it's not just a hug, he does it when he sneaks up behind you .

If you do not do something about it now, it can become a serious issue.
I had an incident with a guy at work that would hang around my desk, it made me uncomfortable. I didn't say anything, it got to where he would actually stalk me, he went everywhere I went, he started doing things like kicking and poking me. It really got out of hand
I had to tell someone. Once I spoke up, other women had the courage to do the same thing.

Answer 3

It is sexual harassment. If you have not made it abundantly clear to him that you are not interested, you need to do so. If you do not feel comfortable doing this by yourself, then have your human resource person meet with the 2 of you to discuss it. If you have not made it clear yet, I do not believe it merits filing a complaint yet. Be for-warned, that when you do this it could backfire on you. he could get worse, bad mouth you (label you a narc, and the such). Get statements from the 2 that witnessed what he did at the snack table, if they are willing. But that could even backfire if they are friends of his and say no, then tell him beforehand what you are doing. As far as him grabbing you, you need to bring that up in the meeting also, that is battery. Even at work, or outside of work, you can be nailed for that. Just be careful. Good luck.

Answer 4

Its definately sexual harrasment. Its complicated but if he makes you uncomfortable and he ask unwanted questions I would say that it is sexual harrasment. Report him. You have to witnesses that saw what happened. Anything that is unwanted should be reported. Look below its says verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute to sexual harrasment and it goes with what he was asking about gentilia. This guy is sick and you should report him. You don't need to be miserable at a job because of some guy.

Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitute sexual harassment when this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance, or creates an intimidating, hostile, or offensive work environment.

Answer 5

Yes, it's sexual harassment. Tell him to stop that stuff, because it's making you uncomfortable. If he stops, then let it go.

However, if he continues this stuff, or tries to make you feel like you're a fool or whatever, then you may want to let your boss (or your boss's boss if they won't do anything) know, because sexual harassment is a big issue, which is why so many companies are stressing it nowadays during training and orientation.

You shouldn't have to put up with that kind of stuff at work.

Answer 6

Sexual Harassment is a broad thing. What it boils down to is this: If someone (you, a coworker, a client) considers something inappropriate, it can be sexual harassment.

With what you described, yes that was sexual harassment, especially if it made you feel uncomfortable.

Answer 7

YES IT IS SEXUAL HARRASSMENT!!! Report him to your Human resource manager IMMEDIATELY before you become a victom of sexual assault. If he says" your only picking on me cause I'm black and your a racist" Say that you have plenty of African American friends who can vouch for your integrity and that you have witnesse that will say he is a sexual predator and a bigot." DO NOT BACK DOWN!! You may save someone else or yourself from further harrassment or worse GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS

Answer 8

What the hell he think he is !!? You should report this to someone. If he do that, means he doesn't respects you. And he is horny everytime he sees you. Either you confront him and tell him to stop the harassment or you will report it to the police. You must warn him about his actions. If he still does it, you must report him so that others won't get hares too. Try telling your superior first. Good luck and please be carefull.

Answer 9

I would make it a point to talk to your boss,. one on one; regardless of how long you have been there vs him.you should not be put in a position to be made uncomfortable...End of story...If it does not stop with this meeting..I would file charges against the guy and your boss for not stopping it.

Answer 10

make a report of it with your supervisor right away. If they won't hear you, go above them.

If he ever "grabs" you outside work, even if it's in the parking lot, call the cops, thats battery and his perv a$$ needs to go to jail and get some harassment for himself