My boyfriend gets frustrated during sex because he's working so hard to get me off that I think he doesn't realize by my body language and even my words to him that he's already achieved that. Then I can tell by his reactions that he's unsure but still so determined and he gets frustrated and it generally ruins the mood. Because I actually have to eventually say something stupid like "Umm..honey yeah good job, you've already accomplished your goal, now how about letting me accomplish mine?". It's a pretty new relationship so I know we're still getting used to one another which is half the fun in a new relationship. But please help me because I've never had this problem in past relationships. Trust me I'm very vocal normally and past boyfriends have had no problem knowing exactly what I'm going through. Don't get me wrong...he's great at what he does, but I think he's a little out of tune or just not used to me or something. Any idea what the problem could be? Any advice helps. Thanks.
2006-08-11 14:26:54 · 28 answers · asked by JessE 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he must have had a really messed up g/f in the past, or he thinks that a woman's orgasm should be like what he sees on porn.
Be a little more dramatic (I know, it's silly) about it, see if he reacts to that
2006-08-11 14:31:58 · answer #1 · answered by cynthetiq 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well you need to create a special signal for him. Let him know, I mean maybe giving a really loud and long moan when he finally gets you to your orgasm part. But well he might just be confused about certain things, maybe he's used to girls having a different sign, or maybe none of them reached an orgasm point until alot longer. So well just talk it out with him and figure out what you can do. That way sex still stays great for the both of you, and you can both have fun with it.
2006-08-11 14:36:47 · answer #2 · answered by darkgothicshadow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think he's really paying attention the way he should be. He might be trying to look for signals in you that he's found with other women and is getting upset that he can't read you that easily.
I'd suggest that for a while just go really slow, and sort of talk him through it. tell him how you feel, and when you're getting close. and FORCE him to go a little slower than usual, so that he's not lost in humping and is actually paying attention to what you're expressing in your voice, and face, etc. Communication through the whole thing is key. After a while, it will become second nature.
2006-08-11 14:30:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Maybe a little more foreplay would help. But definitely tell him not to try so hard. Tell him to just let things happen naturally and things will go like they should. Then you just let him know when you're about to orgasm. And when you do, if there is a problem, tell him what he's doing so he keeps doing it to help you keep having an orgasm. Good luck!
2006-08-11 14:35:40 · answer #4 · answered by Jenna 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I dont think he's really in tune with you. he needs to start paying attention to what going on with how your reacting to him instead of just trying to get off or accomplish some "religious experience" he thinks he's gonna get. what I would do is actually tell him that your having one. try new things all the time...let him explore your body and maybe he can get a clue on what makes you happy.
2006-08-11 14:33:15 · answer #5 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm.... over dramatize and use lots of praise. Also, ask him what he expects. Girls have different telltale signs of an orgasm... goosebumps, moaning, etc. The goosebumps you prolly couldn't try to produce, lol, but I'm sure the moaning and screaming would be fixable. Communication is the real key tho, especially in new relationships.
2006-08-11 14:32:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he inexperienced? That might be the trouble. My wife always has the same kind of response when she has an orgasm, and I'm pretty sure she's not faking!
You could ask him what he expects you to do when you have an orgasm.
2006-08-11 14:37:19 · answer #7 · answered by tiko 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should be talking to him about this, is he not the one your looking to get the answers from in the first place?
Ask him what hes looking for...he might have a misunderstanding about how the climax is saposed to go for you.
Relationships need more one to one communication.
Best of luck!!
2006-08-11 14:31:25 · answer #8 · answered by Chris H 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you're vocal, its hard to say. Maybe he's just concentrating too hard on pleasing you...or maybe he's insecure about his own sexual performance. If so, some encouragement could be good.
2006-08-11 14:32:49 · answer #9 · answered by Jadeba12 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off I would have to say thank you for wording your question decently, and decidedly the only things I can say and or suggest is sit down and talk with him about this, that for starters is going to be about the best advice anybody can give you, I promise you that, just talk to him about it, otherwise in a way you will be faking it after that
2006-08-11 14:32:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋