How do I handle a sister who constantly drops insulting "innuendos" towards me?

Question

I'm always supportive of her, and I'm always there when she needs me. Although I have never given her reasons, she's extremely insecure and obviously threatened by me somehow. This is evident by her remarks obviously directed towards me. I love her, and it pains me to watch her struggle with her issues. She's very critical and self-righteous. I wouldn't want her for a friend, but unfortunately she's my sister. My other sister is convinced that she is disturbed and avoids her completely. She tells me that I should confront her, because if I don't I merely give her permission to continue with her abuse. I just want to keep peace within the family, as the rest just tollerate her when they have to. Which is why I believe she singles me out ... because I'm good natured. She has used me and taken advantage of me in the past. It has to stop. What should I do?

Answer 1

Keeping peace is all fine and good if it works. Obviously it doesn't with her. You do need to confront her, hopefully in a nice way at first. Tell her you are aware of the way she talks to you and in the future, you will not answer or acknowledge her when she does that. And then go through with it.

Answer 2

I have found that the critical, self-righteous, types, are messes inside.

My favorite saying is "the sins we see in others, are the sins we ourselves possess"

Are doing something, or are you acting in such a way she wishes she could, but is too insecure to try??

Try to talk to her. She is your sister, and you share the same parents, the same family. Maybe you can reason with her. Find out what is making her ache inside, and help heal it.

Good luck sweetie.

Answer 3

Have you tried asking her what her problem is??? You don't say how old you are, where are your parents when all of this is going on??? And yes, she obviously has some issues somewhere, is is maybe taking them out on you. Its like kicking the dog, and I guess you are her dog. Sorry.

Answer 4

You have to confront her. You've tried everything else. If she doesn't respond, treat her as if she were dead. Don't look at her, talk to her, or interact with her. Evade her if she tries to push herself onto you. She wants a war, show her the results of war.

Answer 5

ignore it...trust me, if you show that it doesnt bother you she'll stop. im almost 20 and both of my sisters (18 and 22) STILL gain up and do it to me. yeah i know it hurts, sometimes i just want to go to my room and cry, but you cant let her know that. also when she says stuff, exaggerantly agree with her. like when my sister says something to me about being fat ill say "yup, youre so right...im so fat that i cant even fit through the door anymore" or just say something stupid like that...she'll eventually get bored and stop. sorry though, i know how you feel!

Answer 6

My 'greater suitable mind' facilitates me to tell apart between what Jesus mentioned and what's now primary by applying some 'Christian' extremists as Christian concept. It additionally facilitates me to tell apart between what Mohammed mentioned and what's now considered by applying some 'Muslim' extremists as Islamic concept. i'm unlikely to argue with the reality which you will not be able to spell 'Muslim', yet i'm going to ask you to analyze the classes of Jesus. call me naïve in case you like, yet i presumed he taught tolerance, peace, forgiveness; that he substitute into against discrimination. the place is your tolerance? what's the inspiration on your hate? Muslims settle for Jesus as between the super prophets and additionally honour Mary. there's a sparkling translation of the Qu'ran in English - printed by applying Penguin. I recommend you examine it, after having re-examine the Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. (forget the Epistles. Paul got here later and has plenty to respond to for in warping Jesus' words.)

Answer 7

The other sister is right--you need to confront her and tell her she is wrong

Answer 8

if your a middle child listen to me. i have 2. one older, one younger. try telling ur parents or get a lock for ur door & go to an out of state collage.

Answer 9

Ignore her remarks. She is probably just looking for attention.
Above all else, remember only God can change her, you cannot. All you can do for her is pray. :)

Answer 10

I too have a sister the same way. I am the youngest of the family even though I am 45 years old. My sister is 50 and my brother is 62. My sister has never done anything in her whole life but cause problems for this family. It was so bad that my Dad was going to write her out of their will and he did before he passed away. Eventually, my Mom put my sister back into the will. Me and my brother couldn't understand this after all she has done to all of us, but it was my Moms decision. My Mom passed away on Nov. 2005 and it has all gotten even worse. Me and my sister never got along, even at very young ages. She hated me before I was even born. She was jealous because she didn't want anyone else around. She has hurt me my whole life with insults, sleeping with my boyfriends and even 2 guys I was going to marry in my past, hit me for no reason at all, calling me names and even my parents, etc. The list goes on and on. I have tried my best to get along with her, but I saw that it will never happen. I even gave her my car, which was only 3 years old and still brand new being in a garage, and got me something else to drive because her car was about to fall apart. She has done nothing but hollered and screamed at me and cusses me ever since my Mom died. She lives about 100 miles away from me. This would happen on the phone. She has always been jealous of me because I was a Daddy's girl and worked cattle with him, fed cattle with him, etc. because I loved doing those kind of thins. She didn't. She will call me little Daddy's girl and I say you damn right. There was no favortism shown between us three kids until we got older. I would say my parents showed that towards my brother, which I will never understand. That's a whole different story. My sister's 7th husband raped and beat me severely in 1999. She knew about it and stayed married to him. She said that I deserved it because me, our parents and my brother were nothing but racists, which is not true. Her husband is black-we are white. I finally told her that I was through with her 2 months ago. I told her to never call me again and to never show up at my house or I would call the police. Then she started having her husband call me and threating me. Yes, the one who did that to me. It brought all of that back and horrified me. I called the police and let them hear all of the messages both of them had been leaving on my cell phone and answering machine. The police called my sister and her husband and told them to leave me alone and to never come near me or I would file charges against them. I had to change my phone number to unlisted and my cell phone number. All I can say to you is, everyone just about in my family only tolerated my sister also because we had to. When she did come around. But, enough is enough. I would be rid of her and leave her alone before she destroys you like my sister did me. I have been in counseling alot because of her among other things. Tell your sister you will not put up with her insults ever again, and to leave you alone until she can treat you like she should treat you. Stand up for yourself because no one else will. I will be thinking about you alot. I hope everything goes okay for you. BE STRONG AND HANG IN THERE.