Why do women always want to change their man?

Question

Why do women always want to change their man? Its like the current man is the best they can get and settle for. But once they have the man, they want to change him into the man they always wanted but could not have e.g. Brad Pitt & George Clooney

Why do women always want to change their man? Its like the current man is the best they can get and settle for. But once they have the man, they want to change him into the man they always wanted but could not have e.g. Brad Pitt & George Clooney

It is who we are that attracted you in the first place. Why change a good thing?

Could it be they're always comparing their man to their friends' boyfriends? The man ends up becoming some kind of emotional trophy. No woman wants to be the girl in the group with the crappy relationship.

Answer 1

This is what a couple of female friends told me. It's all really just a game to keep you off balance, to control you. First she tells you to change, and then you make that change. Then she tells you to make another change. Eventually, she will tell you to change what you had changed because of what she earlier said.

Some women will create this moving target for you so that you feel like there's something wrong with you and that you're damn lucky she's there to fix you. It's all about control.

I'm not talking about obvious things. I mean, if you don't take a bath for 10 days and she tells you to bathe because you're stink, then she's just being sensible. But if she's choosing your friends, telling you which hobbies you should have, attacking your personality, telling you what career to have and complaining about not having a nice enough car, then brother, she's one of them.

If she can't accept the real person that you are, then dump her because she really couldn't care less about you. And remember, I got this advice from women.

Answer 2

Its true. I went out with my fiance almost 3 years ago for totally the opposite reasons why I love him today. He had a 'bad boy' image back then and was vain and always craved attention. I think over time I grew up and matured quicker than him and I wanted him to be more mature looking and be more family orientated. Luckily it wasn't long until he started to feel the same way about the both of us and now I love him because he's more of a man now than a rebellious young man and he's more self assured now rather than peering into mirrors whenever he sees one! I guess it's not really about changing a guy, more like evolving because everyone is growing all the time and with time - needs change. And we want our men to change to adapt to our needs. But surely men sometimes want to change their women also?

Answer 3

Sometimes a woman will fall in love with a man's potential.
She sees him a certain way... if only he would change a bit.
I guess she thinks she can improve his image and that would
reflect well on her. My advice- try it if it's not too risky. If it
turns her on, there are benefits to that, too!

And-- if you do, then turnabout is fair play. You can ask her
to wear her hair long more, or dress more sexy or whatever.
Before you let her start using you as a project, maybe you
should have some little thing in mind that she'll have to do for
you in return. Could be definitely worth it! :)

Answer 4

It's not just women that want to do this. Have often had men "fall for me" and then want to change the very thing they said they were attracted too. Usually b/c of jealousy, afraid I didn't understand what commitment is apparently.

If something annoys you about someone else, and there are sure to be things in any relationship, the rule is "Can I live with it?" as opposed to the all more frequently used "rule" of "I'll change it."

Good luck, do not despair, there are plenty of people who follow this philosophy. Good Luck.

Answer 5

I speak for myself alone I'm guessing but I don't WANT to change my guy. Some women will say ' I'm not changing I'm improving" but why change them? Sure they have their little quirks that make us want to smack them back to the caveman age, but they're men and most of those quirks just come with the territory.


(BTW Brad Pitt and George Clooney aren't hot to me. They're just really really old guys.)

Answer 6

Don't get stuck in stereotypes many men do the same freakin thing (ie my boyfriend). Lose weight, only eat two meals a day, don't wear low-cut shirts, those skirts are too short, blah blah blah. I hate to be controlled. It makes me rebel and do exactly the opposite. Unfortunately, even if it's the same thing I wanted, I still do the opposite :(

People try to change their gf/bf because something about them bothers them. They love the person their with, and don't want to break up and go back on the market for who knows how long, but they don't like those things bothering them either. In fact, it's usually the things that are hidden during dating and reveal themselves as the couple gets closer. If you don't want that, be yourself 100% strait up front. And if you get it a lot, it's probably because girls initially hook up with you for the way you look, but then decide that your personality isn't as tolerable as they originally thought.

Answer 7

I do not settle for any guy and I do not change a man. If I feel I need to change him then I do not need to be with him because he is not the one for me. I just want a good man. It is too time consuming to change someone. I would rather spend time just enjoying each other.

Answer 8

By the time we men are civilized and caring enough to be with a woman, we are too old for most of them!

Seriously, there should be some merging of personalities, and some tolerance for differences, but if the women you are with wants to change the fundamental you.. get out of there!

Answer 9

Not all women want to change there man some times the men just change and the women want back what they had.

Answer 10

Not every woman's like that. Women who try too hard to change their men aren't easy people to live with...I know because my mother's like that. And these women basically fall into the 'domineering' category of women.

Women who don't fall into that domineering category are sweet as angels. But of course, this category of women's a dying breed because of modernisation and feminism.