What would you do in this situation?! please help us!?

Question

Okay...so my aunt and uncle recently got their kids taken away by CPS 3 months ago due to a case of Munchausen by Proxy syndrome.
My family and I have been taking care of their children ages 8 and 6. We agree with the CPS that my aunt has munchausen, but she doesn't want to admit it! (my uncle agrees with her as well)
To make a long story short...we have not received any money whatsoever from my aunt or uncle for the children, and only receive $600 a month from the state (thats $300 per child) and we didn't start getting the $ until this month.
My aunt and uncle are claiming to spend their money on attorneys to fight the case! Meanwhile, we heard from family friends that they saw the two of them at BBQ's and boat rides and out to dinner.
Their parents don't even answer our phone calls!
We feel like we're being used! They don't call to see how the kids are!
It's like we're the enemies. What would you do in this situation!?
We don't know what to do anymore! We're stressed out!

Answer 1

I know this is a hard pill to swallow... but if the children mean so much to you as you sound like... then it shouldn't matter!

If you are in it for the money than shame on you for getting involved. The children need to feel love not animosity between family who obviously don't want to have anything to do with them. They are the responsible party in the long run who will suffer when there children decide not to have anything to do with them!

Unconditional love is all you can give them now... I do hope that later the parents don't really try to intervene because then the children will be the ones to suffer, again. When the children become of age you can explain the truth to them about the parents illness and they can choose to love or not!

I know all of the financial responsibility might be a strain, but you will have long term rewards later! Seek all the national programs to get aid in different areas that you may need. This is what the system is for... not for people who will take advantage but for people who find themselves in situations that are beyond there control but truly needed.

Answer 2

Talk to the /cps about foster care for children.They will be able to help you financially if the parents aren't helping.They will be able to help with medical,dental,eyeglasses,school clothes and accessories,mileage on your car to take them to a from appointments.But the parents are gonna use this as a break away from the children so they will be out having fun and doing thier own thing.Financially they won't help because so far they aven't had to .If there is no chance of the parents ever getting the kids back,then are you prepared to be there for them all the time they are growing up or you will have to make a decision to adopt them out.Mothers with munchausen never admit they have a promblem.Because they truly don't beleive they are hurting thier children.Good Luck and may God Bless you.

Answer 3

Well, I sure feel for you on this. It sounds like your family has been given quite a challenge.
Fortunately, those kids have you guys and are not bouncing around in the system in a group home or foster home.
Unfortunately for you, you can't expect much from the parents. It is almost useless to be angry with them, because they both seem to be dealing with some form of mental illness.
Just keep doing the best you can do. Soon school will be in session and the burden may lesson a bit. Schools must provide them breakfast and lunch, so that will help.
You may want to try looking into some church groups or something similar. And get the children involved in some positive, free activities, perhaps through the church or library.
Keep doing your best,...
Mother Theresa once said something to this efffect...
I believe God wouldn't give me more than I can handle, I just wish He didn't trust me so much!

Answer 4

Your first concern should be the children and what is in their best interests. If your aunt and uncle are not fit parents then the children do not need to be a part of that environment. Do the best you can with money provided by the state and seek out other funded opportunities for the children including ensuring that the school psychologist or social worker where they attend is counseling the children and then providing you with ideas and opportunities. If and when the time for a law suit presents itself, deal with it then, keep in mind that it is the children who must be protected first, then seek assistance to get your aunt and uncle the help that they obviously also need.

Answer 5

It is so unfortunate for the children and what they have to be going through. I must say though that I commend the both of you for taking on this additional responsibility. It's obvious that the parents of these chidren are not very responsible and receptive to these childrens needs. I'm not feeling the love here for those children.

I look at this way that you both either need to accept the children and love them unconditionally and be satisified with the money from the state....OR....you can let CPS find a foster home for them. Then all your problems would be solved....right? I don't think....this would solve anything. Do you?

Answer 6

Keep the kids out of any fighting between the grown ups. Try your best to give them unconditional love. Take the money from the state, document every penny that you spend of it and how much you use directly on the children. (include food, clothes etc). If you need to go to a free legel clinic and try to sue for more money from the parents or the state. If CPS has already gone in on your side, you should win easily.

Answer 7

be sure not to talk about those childrens parents in front of them in a negative way be supportive for the kids and request cps to schedual daily visits between the kids a nd the parents for restore that family unit is more important than worring about how their try ing to cope with the situation maybe you should take the kids to the park and free places to play with oother kids so they dont feel like a burden and if they ask you about there parents dont ever say you dont know cause they relying on you know about what is going to happen to them.and if you feel that you cant do this then there is no shame in it what you've been asked to do is extreamly hard and if you have kids of your own its only harder but i must say and pray you can feel it when i say your heart is big and what you have done for those children should be rewarded even in the little things like a smile on there face that might not have been there if you were not there .

Answer 8

if they have said that they would pay you a certain amount of cash every month you could probably call it a verbal contract and get money from them in small claims court after the duration of the kids stay. judges will probably side with you because judges always think that if a parent is fit they should try to help by sending money. you case will be better if you bring witnesses. make sure that you bring as many receipts as you can that have to do with the children.

Answer 9

Your concern should be for the children, not for their parents. If you think they are incompetent, inform CPS about them. The money you get form the state to care for the children is all that you should expect, you shouldn't expect to receive money from their parents.

If the children are too much for you to care for then, CPS will put them in foster homes for the duration of the case, or indefintely if they prove themselves incompetent to keep their children. So, you either all suck it up and help raise the kids, or give them up. But you are all they got, unless other family wants to take them.

Answer 10

Take care of their children. They NEED you. By the way you've described their parents they definetly need all the love they can get because their parents don't sound like they care about them. That really disturbs me. Well I give you luck.

God bless you, your family and the children.