How do I tell my little baby boy his dad died before he was born?

Question

before my baby boy was born his daddy was shot and killed. yesterday he asked hwere was his dad. i don't know what to say to him. his older brother knows that he died and i don't want to go through the pain of hearing my baby crying again. any advice?

Answer 1

Tell you little one that Daddy is in Heaven. Show him pictures of his Daddy. As your boys get a little older, maybe visit the grave site on Daddy's birthday and make it a "special memories" day. That's what my Mom did for me when I lost my Dad before the age of 3. There are pictures of me at 4 and 5 years old, putting flowers down on my Daddy's grave. I'm very happy my Mom did this for me ( and herself ). My condolences to you and your family.

Answer 2

If he doesn't ask again just don't say much.

Remember, though, that there is a difference between your older boy and the younger one, and that is that the older one knew his father. The younger one didn't.

If you little guy asks again tell him in a matter of fact way that you'll tell him, but bring him somewhere where the older child can't hear. Just say, "Oh. Come on in here, and I'll tell you."
When you are not within earshot of the older child just matter-of-factly say, "He's in heaven. He went there before you were born."
Don't add a bunch of emotion to it because since he doesn't know his father he - unfortunate as this may sound to you - didn't love him the way the older child must have. You may even tell the younger one, "You know, your brother knew him and loved him, and it was really hard for him to lose him; so we try not to talk about it too much right now. When you're big we can talk about it more."

Don't put your sadness and your older son's sadness onto the younger child. Its different for him. If he asks why his father went to heaven, just say he was in an accident. It may be very sad for you to know that your child won't know his father or that his father would have liked to have seen him, but you have to separate your sadness about that and try to see it from your youngest child's eyes in order not to make a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be.

Of course, its always sad for a child to grow up not ever knowing his father (and harder still for the child who lost him), but remember that children live with one parent or another or have losses or otherwise don't have perfect situations all over the place. Try to let your boys know that while it would have been good to have things the way you wish they were, things are ok.
Children pick up things from the way their mother presents them.

Answer 3

I think you should just tell him that daddy doesn't live there anymore, and if he asks where he went just say you'll tell him when he's older. Wait until he's at least 3 to tell him daddy's in heaven, don't say he died until 5, and definitely don't mention that he was killed until he's 7. A little boy is not mature enough to understand death, especially not murder. Sorry to hear of your loss :(

Answer 4

Be objective. In other words, tell the truth. Death is a fact of life and sadly it's timing is not always fair to all. So, just say that your daddy died when you were being made in my stomach region. Say that sometimes we have bad people in the world that do bad things and that one of them hurt your dad and that your dad died because of that hurt. Tell him if he feels like crying to go ahead. That it is ok to cry because I know that bad man made you feel bad. And ask how else does that make you feel? And say those feels are normal.

Answer 5

Tell him the truth, that his dad died before he was born. It's probably weird to think about, but since he never knew his dad, he can't miss him like you and your older son do. If it will upset your older son to hear it, tell the younger one when the older one isn't around to hear. But don't try to lie to him or use metaphores - that just confuses kids ("when is daddy coming home from heaven?").

Answer 6

Depends on how old he is. People often don't give kids enough credit.
It was 2 months before my fifth birthday, that, when I woke up from an afternoon nap, I heard my mother tell a visitor, that her father had died the night before.
I knew immediately that I would never see my grandfather again, which saddened me because I had really loved him. I totally understood the meaning of death.
And I don't mean any of this 'he is in heaven' stuff.

Answer 7

tell him the truth, you'd be amazed at how well some kids can understand .. but if your child is not one of those kids try to make it easier on him tell him that god had a plan for him and needed him to help him up in heaven, but god lets him come when he's sleeping so he can whisper how much he loves him while he sleeps, ( if you believe in god and heaven ). If not then Tell him that his daddy got hurt by the bad guy and he wanted to meet him very badly but, he got hurt so bad that he couldn't live anymore. But his daddy loves him and misses him.

Answer 8

How old is your child? If he asked the question himself, I'd just say that his daddy isn't around any more. That will satisfy him now and when he needs more info. he will ask more. Just give him true but simple answers until he is old enough to understand what death means. His older brother will probably say things to him too, but when and if he does, be sure to talk to both boys and explain gently what death is--DO NOT say it is like going to sleep because that frightens small children and they worry about going to sleep themselves. Little kids doesn't need long, detailed answers. Just give them truthful bits, appropriate for their ages until they can fully understand.

Answer 9

It depends how old is the child if he is younger than 8 then tell him daddy is in a special place but if he is old enough to understand then sit down and have a one on one talk with him and let him know

Answer 10

If no person has instructed you till now then, then no person ought to hearken to it now. for sure regardless of if that's actual, the subject replaced into labored out or you will not be right here now. Your dad had a lot of issues in his existence, and your mom is probable in some small way nonetheless handling them. do not drudge up previous griefs for her. secrets and techniques in maximum situations are meant to be in simple terms that-- secrets and techniques. Your dad instructed you by using fact he continuously felt someway that he had completed incorrect with the aid of you and he needed to repair issues out till now he died. the way it sounds he won't in any respect have even instructed your mom that-- it replaced into in basic terms a scared toddler's reaction on the time. Take the words out of your father as what they have been meant-- a thank you to be sure his relationship with you and make amends... and go away it at that.