Is there any hope that things will change or am i wasting my time???

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. I love him more than i ever thought possible. I'm ready 2 settle down & he is commitment phobic. We slpit up a few months ago so that he could take some time 2 figure out what he wants. He came 2 me a month ago & told me that he really loves me & wants 2 be with me so we decided 2 try again. My problem now is that things r just like they were before. He lives @ home w/ his parents (we r both in our mid 20's) & only worries about his personal bills ex. truck payment, credit card, cell phone, I own my own home while he's living @ his parents house 4 free. He hangs out uptown almost every night til 1 or 2 am & goes 2 work that's about it. He comes 2 see me 1 or 2 times a week but that's all we do. I've told him that it feels like it's just a sex thing so he decided we'd go awhile w/o sex 2 prove that it's more. I feel stuck in a relationship going nowhere. i really love him & want & settle down with him but am i wasting my time??

Answer 1

It's hard to say, but I am thinking you and he are in different stages in your lives, and are wanting different things out of life. It sounds like you know what you want out of life, and he is still unsure where he is going.

Maybe you should set him free, and set yourself free at the same time. Tell him you care about him, but need some space until he knows what he wants. In the meanwhile, be free... Flirt. Date. Meet new people, go out with friends and have some fun. You may meet someone else, a man who has it together and has some direction in his life. Or, in time he may get his life in prospective, and you could live happily together. But, don't wait around on him or anyone. If it's meant to be, it will.... But enjoy your life, You never know what tomorrow holds for you.

Best of luck........ :)

Answer 2

List the things for me that you get out of this relationship. From here it seems to be: 1) left alone a lot; 2) no commitment; 3) no support; 4) sex; 5) absence so he could figure out what he wants to do and he came up with what he's got now; 6) not much more. If that's enough for you, keep doing what you are doing. If not, you know what you need to do.

Answer 3

Yeah there is still hope that things are going to work out between the two of you if you really want to be in a committed relationship with tell him and see what he say ask him to leave his mom and dad house and if he say no then theres a chance that it was just about the sex or he don't want to be committed to you like you want him to be my best advice that i can give is tell him and try to work things out some people just need a little more time than others to find there self and possibly want they want to do with their life.

I wish you the best of luck because I to once had to go through this about a year ago.

Answer 4

Well gyrlie yes I think that you are wasting your time because from the looks of it you deserve someone on the same level that you are on you need someone that will help you not bring you down to there level....yes it will be hard to let him go because you have been in the relationship for two years now but is it really worth being with someone who doesn't want to better themselves then in the end it all falls on you.....you know how to handle and take care of your business, but I really don't think he does and thats were the arguments come in later on down the line good luck

Answer 5

i think he's not takin u & ur reletionship seriously,he's not commitment phobic( thats th perfect excuse guys use 2 avoid serious relationships) he's jus havin fun @ th moment n has no intention 2 settle down, not witu: thats ovious. if he luvd u he'd wana spend time witu( i mean com on, 2 times a week!), its clear he's jus not that in2 u, 2 him ur like paln b, he dozn even hang out witu so, clearly he dozn enjoy ur company. i think his behaviour reflects his intentions, u jus didn wana c it ( bcoz u luv him). Its ur turn 2 make up ur mind, U deserve better than this, dont u think? so set urself free of this vicious circle 2 hav bac ur life & self respect, i'm sure u'l find a man hu appreciates u & luvs u & proposes 2 u in th most romantic way b4 u even consider commiting..

Answer 6

i'm sorry to say that if he's more into going out & partying than getting a place of his own & being independent of mommy & daddy he still has a lot of growing up to do b4 he'll b ready 2 settle down

Answer 7

I think he needs some time to grow. Let him go; you are wasting your time. There's someone out there that is more responsible and mature and it sounds like that is what you need. Free yourself so you can find him, or so that you can be found!!