We have just met and been on two dates. He is really quite good to me so far and I am smitten. However, I don't trust him. I know I have issues with men in general, being a 30 year old single mom. Some things he says to me, I think, now I don't believe that, he is just trying to get some...
Should I trust my feeling of not trusting him?
or
Am I sabatoging myself so I don't have to face the fears of having my heart broken again?
2006-08-11 11:45:45 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'd say trust your gut feelings, he may be putting out hidden signals that your experience are telling you, what he really is like.
As they say, Trust, but verify. It's only been two dates, wait a bit longer, just don't jump into bed, just yet.
Time will prove whether you are right or wrong. But don't go against, what your heart is telling you. It is so often right.
2006-08-11 11:49:59 · answer #1 · answered by johnb693 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you are sabotaging yourself.
I'm no expert, but from my personal experience, I've only ever dated one single mother, and I didn't know she was a single mom until after the first date. It took me a loooong time before I went on the second date, but I finally did because I realized that she was a great girl and it doesn't really matter to me if she has a kid, I think I could handle it.
I wouldn't have ever dreamed of sleeping with her or taking advantage of her, because I know she's got more going on in her life than I do, and for her to be investing any of that time with me means that she must be really interested, so I wouldn't have pursued it at all if I wasn't interested.
It didn't end up going very far, but only because it turned out that we weren't really compatible as lovers. We're still pretty good friends though.
I figure, give this guy a chance, see if your feelings towards him change, and make him earn your trust. I say give him 3 more dates, if he hasn't begun to earn your trust by that time, tell him you're sorry, that you think he's a great guy, but you have a hard time trusting people, and ask if he'd mind too terribly if you slowed things back down, and decided to become friends instead.
2006-08-11 18:54:43 · answer #2 · answered by Alberta Sunrise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't write him off just yet. It's only been two dates. Give him a chance to prove his intentions. It's up to you to maintain your morals and not let this guy "talk" you into bed.
I'm a single mom too and I have been hurt a few too many times. I have a hard time trusting a man but I did finally find a very good one, after 20 years of being single.
Keep your mind engaged even when your heart wants to leave it behind.
2006-08-11 18:58:11 · answer #3 · answered by Cheryl K 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try a few more dates. If you still feel that you do not trust the person, then it might not work. If you are just having fears of getting a broken heart, then it may be difficult to get into a serius relationship again. Best bet is to go for it all out. Bet it all!! If you lose, you lose. But what if you win? In life, we will have several heartaches before we find the "one" for us. Good luck to you and hope that you are able to control your fear.
2006-08-11 18:54:26 · answer #4 · answered by JJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should give him the benifit of the doubt to start with, don't blame him for your past mistakes where men are concerned, there are still a few of us good ones out here looking and trying to do the right things so just in case give it a try, just don't fall in love until you are sure, say months down the road, something made you like him in the first place, and your gut instint will let you know...
2006-08-11 18:52:52 · answer #5 · answered by wizzard 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ususually your gut feelings are the ones to go with and even though you have issues with men in general I would trust my gut there has to be a deeper feeling inside as to why you don't trust him but 2 dates is really hard to tell I would give it a bit longer and if the feeling is still there then go with it.
2006-08-11 18:51:54 · answer #6 · answered by simple one 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Play it cool, honey, it's not like you're a "virgin". You KNOW men! Yes, he's trying hard to get "some". Cool your jets and let him wait a while and see what happens. Try some unconventional dating...you know, picnics, museums, golf...You might be surprised. He might really LIKE you! Give it a chance before you take off the panties!
2006-08-11 18:50:21 · answer #7 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has he given you reason not to trust him? What are your intentions, to marry him? Would it be so bad if was just out for sex (are you looking for a meal ticket or somebody to have fun with)? These are the questions you have to ask yourself.
2006-08-11 18:53:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not enough to assume and begin to work with your assumption, it might be a wrong assumption, carry out a research on the guy in question know him to the fullest, its too early for you to acertianing weather he is bad or good. you can only get to know him better when you are close to him. meanwhile, be careful you might loose ur destainned partner
2006-08-11 18:57:04 · answer #9 · answered by Sir Joe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should give it more time i'd say two or three more dates ask him personal questions find out as much as you can about his life ,previous relationships and hobbies. if you still feel you cant trust him id say probabally end it
2006-08-11 18:53:30 · answer #10 · answered by sweet kisses01 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋