Potty training help PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

My daughter will be 4 in October. I have been trying for the past 2 years to get her potty trained, but nothing seems to work. I have bought potty's, training pants, "big girl" underwear, I have bribed her with candy, she knows when she has to go, but she chooses not to. I have also resorted to putting her in timeout and taking away snacks now that she knows, but NOTHING I have tried seems to work. Any ideas??

Answer 1

Best idea is what I did with both of mine. Put the pottie away and show her. Tell her that you are putting it away and when she is ready she can tell you and you will get it down for her to use. Then have absolutely no conversations about the pottie and none on the phone in hearing distance of her, not with your Mom or anyone that the child hears it. Make the whole thing a non issue.
Then in a couple weeks or so, if she hasn't asked for it already, put it in the floor again while she is down for a nap and let her just find it. If she mentions it, then simply say yes its there, you are grown up enough to use it and I guess you will when you want to be that grown up and not have nasty baby diapers anymore. Then say no more. She will work it out for herself,, the problem you have now is that you have created the issue for her and she is using the situation as a means to control you.

Answer 2

Ask her doctor what to do. It's hard to get a kid potty trained, even if they want to. Maybe there is a reason she doesn't want to.. it could be that to her, going potty means she isn't a baby anymore. She may think that your attention towards her will change if you aren't changing her.

Dr. Phil had a good suggestion on this. Tell your daughter that you are waiting for a call from her favorite cartoon character. Tell her that you will only get the call when she has gone on the potty for a day. Then when she has done it for a whole day, have someone call you and pretend to be that character. Let her talk on the phone and have the person tell them how proud they are that they are going potty by themselves. Sometimes you have to do it for a few days, but it will usually work.

Also, there are some good books out there that will help. Go to the library and check out some books for her to read on potty training. Maybe it will motivate her to go by herself.

Buy a toy when she is with you. Tell her that she won't get the toy unless she can go in the potty for a week. Put it somewhere where she can see. Then make a chart with stickers that she can put on the chart. Have a few spots for each day of the week and every few times she goes, let her put a sticker on the chart. When the week is filled up, let her look at the chart and then tell her how proud you are that she went to the potty for a whole week. Make a big deal about giving her the toy you bought for her. Then tell her that she can keep the toy as long as she continues to go in the potty.

Positive reinforcement is going to work the best. Sometimes kids see it as a power thing. They like the hold that they have over you to change them. You have to condition them to do what you want. It's a struggle. I'm trying to get my daughter used to the idea of a potty right now. She is loving the fact that she has her own potty. Now it's just getting her to go in it. Good luck!! Let us know what happens!!!

Answer 3

Be brave and do this (I succeeded in 3 awfull infinite days obstructed by the grandparents with a 3 1/2 old stubborn, unable to do anything else, even my hygiene suffered, but now he WANTS to go to toilet. Forget the potty...). Remove the diapers forever. Tell her that there are no diapers in any market for that old children. She will cry for them, but be persistent and say that the doctor said so and we should listen. After sayng this more than 1000 times, handling with the mess she will do out of the toilet even in public, and her refusing to even sit on the toilet, make this strategy: The good and the bad cop. You will be both-the good and the bad. Ask her a milion times a day if she wants to pee. You will get "no". Then in some moment, make a soft panic and tell her that she must (if she keeps it) or she woud get ill. Sit her on the toilet even without her consent (but when you think that she should have enough urine). Inforce the panic, and then remove her from the toilet (she will probably WANT to remove her from there) Then take her "in private" and keep telling her that this is very important, this will make you and her very happy and this would mean that she is grown up an will have some grown up privileges (think of something that she might do: push some button on some machine or something "serious" - but show her that after she succeed to make the first pee in the toilet). Go see many babies (take her attention to babies on the street, the park, where you walk...) to expirience the difference. Hug her a lot, make her drink a lot of fluids, and don't use diaper through the night, too. In one word: CONCENTRATE her, to understand that SHE has a problem not you, but you are here to help her. There is a small trick also when when she will cry sitting on the toilet: I used the "trick" that he used on me to cheer me up - making a "smiley" with his finger over my mouth. So, sitting so unhappy on the toilet I was making "smiley" over his mouth. Do you have some "internal" trick of that kind? Use it if you have! If you don't, make it, first. It will be a strong moment of bonding and a fruitfull step for solving the problem TOGETHER.

Answer 4

Using rewards and punishments will not work. They have nothing to do with this behavior. She knows that you really want her to be potty trained and so she is refusing. If you insist, she will resist. Let it go for a few days. Remember, this is her issue not yours. It is something that only she can control and she will continue to control it if you continue to give her attention (positive or negative) for it.

What will work best is to use natural and logical consequence. Put her into some "big girl" underwear and clothing she can take on and off without help. When you see her doing the "potty dance" say to her "It looks like you need to use the bathroom." Give it no more attention than that. If she soils herself, hold her responsible for ALL of the cleanup. Don’t help her. She can rinse out his wet clothing, put them in the laundry, clean any wet area, and put on clean clothing. It will take a few tries buts she will soon learn it is much easier to use the toilet.

Answer 5

Have you talked to your doctor??? My cousin's daughter will be 4 in october also and is still NOT potty trained! She did have a problem with her bowels...it hurt so therefore she was afraid to go. But now she is seeing my daughter and her sister who are younger use the potty and is more encouraged. I really don't have a good answer for you sorry. All I can say is to praise, prasie, praise. Oh and punishing her will not help, take her out of time out and give the snacks back... :)!

Answer 6

Has anyone ever asked you when you were potty trained? On a job application, school, your friends? No probably not. Here is my philosophy on potty training. Chill out. Don't punish. Show them where the toilet is, tell them they can use it if they want to, or not.
Your problem isn't potty training, it is a power struggle with your child. Take away the struggle. BTW I have trained 3 kids. All in 2 months or less with this method.

Answer 7

First, remember that one out of nine children has difficulty with toilet training all the way into the teen years, whether it is daytime or even nighttime wetting. We're all taught children should be through with this by age two, but the fact is, that simply isn't gonna happen with everyone! Second, take her to the doctor and ensure there is no medical reason for her problem. Many factors can interfere with a child's awareness of the need to go, plus sometimes bladder control or bladder size can be the culprit. A good behavioral plan that sets her up for success, and rewards good toilet behavior can be very helpful...just make sure the rewards come at regular increments of progress instead of making it all-or-nothing. To get the plan going, I would highly recommend you seek help of a therapist who specializes in working with children - it may sound extreme, but it helps!

Answer 8

leave her naked around the house. My daughter did the same thing. She was 4 and we had tried everything...I mean everything. Finally one day after she appeared soiled AGAIN and walking around it like it was nothing...I quite ptting anything on her at all no diaper no underwear no pants. The first time she started to pee and it began to dribble down her leg she was shocked and ran back to the potty so it had a place to go. I took only a few days and I rented a steam cleaner for the rug right after but that was the end of our pottytraining disaster.

I just did some research and it is actually officially called John Rosemond's "naked and $75" method (the $75 is to clean the carpet when its over) look it up and do somer esearch. It really worked for us

Answer 9

Be consistence and ask her if she has to go or if she looks like she has to go say lets do a potty run. Do this everyday many times a day and praise her highly when she goes and maybe reward her with one m&m. She will catch on and like the praises. I stopped witht he candy rewards after a while and did a chart with stars and if he got star for one week he got to pick out a toy at the store. Everytime he woudl wet though he would get a star taken. It seemed to work. If she pees her pants have her wear it for a short time to not like the feel of it and have her change her pants herself. I did this with our son and only had to do that once where he had to change his wet pants and clean the puddle on floor. That seemed to do it. He is going to be 4 and has finally got it. Good Luck! Only use big girl underweaer no potty pants or training pants.(only at night or when traveling until she gets it). you may have to wash underwear for a week all the time but that is waht seemed to help with us. That he had to go for he had big boy underwear on and could not pee in pants anymore. Be consistence every time and constantly remind her to go and take her in there. Dont give up! I would always tell myself that I dont see any 18 yr olds out there who are not potty trained! :) That helps to get through this tough short time as parent potty training. :)

Answer 10

You know, My mother tells me I was not potty trained until I was 4 years old. Now that I am a mom, I try so hard not to judge others, but I found it hard to believe I was 4 years old. It turned out that I had Celiac Disease and going to the potty was a scarry and painful thing to me. It hurt but I guess I did not know how to realay that message. Anyway... My advise as a mom is all kids have their hang up and most get past what ever it is by the time they go to kindergarten and are around other kids. What does her doctor suggest?