My husband is still looking at women half naked on the internet. I give him what he asks from me and he just waits for the moment for me to step out of the house to look at other women. I am not needed for him and I feel useless. He thinks I will forget it and act as if nothing, but I feel usless. I fell as if he doesn't appreciate me. We have been married for almost 11 months and instead of feeling as were newly weds I feel like nothing. Like I can't give him what he wants.
2006-08-11 10:22:15 · 37 answers · asked by shy_gal2 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'd also like to let you guys know I'm not fat and when I give him what he wants he loves it. It's not a chore for me at all. I dress sexy and attractive. I feel confidence enough to know that I am not unattractive at all. It's just he thinks I won't find out he was looking at half naked woman and when I confront him he just stays quite. This is when he makes me feel useless!
2006-08-14 09:06:38 · update #1
That is the nature of the beast!
2006-08-11 10:25:33 · answer #1 · answered by lovelostboys 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why should it bother you if all that he is doing is looking? It sounds like he is happy with you, and he gets what he wants from you,( I hope that you are getting the same from him as well)! But you do have to realize that just looking at these porns might not be the only thing that he is doing. He could be reading up on some of the exciting things that the two of you can do together! Instead of feeling insecure and having lack of confidence in your self, check these books/porns out with him and find out some more fascinating and exciting ways that the two of you can use to please and turn each other on with!!!!!!!
Good Luck
2006-08-17 06:54:21 · answer #2 · answered by bigred 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No matter how long you have been married he is going to look at girls naked or not. If you tell him you are upset he will just do it without you knowing and be more discreat about it. You could be a model and he still would probably continue looking at others on the internet because it is so available to people. Do not take it personally unless he would rather look at others then be with you. If he is still romancing you then think of it this way at least he is not out there having sex with other women and then coming home to you.
2006-08-11 10:29:01 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You could look at this two ways. One he's just looking and he keeps it in the privacy of his own home. He's not out at nudey bars or propositioning whores on the local street corner(is he?). Two if you don't have any reason to fear he's unsatisfied, then don't stress yourself so much about some photos. Get a friend to take some provocative pics of you and display them all over his computer or just in general places around the house. Don't take it so personally and for God's sake don't nag the man. My ex had a porn collection and watched them all the time when I wasn't around. The upside to that was there was a regularly stiff one waiting for me when I got home. Naked bodies is just a testosterone thing like porn. They can't help themselves. If you can't beat him join him!
2006-08-19 07:45:31 · answer #4 · answered by lovelee1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first of all men do think differently than women-we all know that.but if there is a guy out there that has acsess to the internet and says he doesn't or hasn't ever checked out naked women IS A LIAR!. to me it makes me into my wife more-not that i am fantasizing about someone else or anything.i doubt your husband PREFERS women on the net.what man (straight) doesn't like to look at a naked woman? also you've only been married 11 months-some insecurity could come into play.
2006-08-19 08:10:23 · answer #5 · answered by phil m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because your husband lacks maturity and self control and has poor impulse control. On top of that he obviously couldn't care less that its making you feel bad or he wouldn't do it. Sounds to me like this was a mistake, bail before it gets worse, don't waste 11 years trying to fix someone that is just a jerk. Why did you marry him? If its only been 11 months and he already doesn't care that he makes you feel like crap why would you allow him to make you feel like crap for 12 months? Write this one off as a mistake and think a little harder before you get married again. At least (I hope) you don't have kids and this can be ended without screwing up the rest of your life.
2006-08-11 10:27:04 · answer #6 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That is strange. Most guy's look at porn because they are fascinated by the fantasy that they may never have. But if you give him everything he wants in sex, you may need to just ask him to stop watching it for you. Worse case may be that he's addicted to porn. I personally love my wife so much that even though she won't do hardly anything i ask for in bed, when she told me that when i watch porn or even chicks in bikini's made her feel
ugly, I felt compelled to stop. Now I live with that fact that i may never have what i want, in sex, but at least my wife is happy. And if i had to, i would give it up for her happiness.
But I'm probably not sure of what I'm saying. Hang on let me read.....damn, i am dumb!!
2006-08-11 10:44:56 · answer #7 · answered by subjex@sbcglobal.net 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What does FAT have to do with a spouse that looks at others on the Internet? If anyone says that then they are shallow and seeking excuses....perhaps you need to "look" together on the Internet...play together....so to speak....if that doesn't work, then find out what the problem is...but understand this...it is HIS problem NOT yours...regardless of how you look.
2006-08-18 12:54:13 · answer #8 · answered by Rosie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunatley, this a part of the male mind that only goes away with time and experience in a relationship. There is nothing you can do about except let it pass, which could take a LONG time. If it bothers you that much, then you might have to resort to leaving.
2006-08-11 10:26:15 · answer #9 · answered by kbjcw 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know hon. What I can tell you is that this will ruin your relationship and it will make you very, very unhappy. You really need to talk this out. You need to let your husband know how this is making you feel...don't hold anything back. If you don't you will spend many, many very unhappy years and it will consume you like poison.
The greatest give a man can give a woman is respect. If he doesn't respect your feelings now, he really never will.
If he doesn't listen take a bat and smash the computer next time he does it....that ought to get his attention.
2006-08-11 10:50:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
im not married and im only 20 but I just sooo went through this! I think that you should give him a dose of his OWN medicine...although you may not want to, show him how you feel better than you can tell him. Just look at men online and talk and chat..but dont actually meet them. He'll start to see the change and then he'll understand. if he cant respect that then you both will have to make a few "altercations." :-D
2006-08-11 10:25:54 · answer #11 · answered by ~*SpHyRyT*~ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋