interfering mother in law how did you solve it?

Answer 1

My ex-mother-in-law tried to plan my whole wedding. I told her quite simply that she should get married if she wanted to plan one her way. Around the same time, my husband and I were discussing how soon after we married we would start a family. Once again, his mom tried to tell us we had to name our children after her and her late husband. I told her to have her own damn kids if she wanted them named after them.

She never stuck her nose in where it wasn't wanted again.

Answer 2

Those are sometimes sticky situations. There is somebody that is going to get a little rift but you deserve your space too. My mother in law was the same way and it drove me nuts. I finally told her politely that We or I needed space and not to hurt her feelings but you Love her and your glad she is there to help, just not all the time. She will get over it. Make sure your spouse or wife feel the same way as this can cause a whole bunch of other problems for you instead of just an interfering mother in law.

Answer 3

I have the ultimate mil from hell. When we first got married 26 years ago in Denver and she lived in Cleveland my mil would call my wife to see if I killed her 3 or 4 times aday and vice versa. We would only go on vacations if my in laws could go-what fun that was. Now my mil lives with us and has for the last 5 years because of 2 major strokes. She thinks she runs this house and there hasnt been a day gone by that I havent tried to figure out a way to do her in. My fil died 10 years ago. All Ive accomplished is starting some huge marital fights. Even my grown daughters would love to figure out a way to get rid of grandma, so Ive come to one conclusion, theres no way to get rid of them until God decides when enough is enough. I think the more I wish bad things the more or longer she seems to live. She 79 this year, and she goes everywhere we go. Ive tried to kill her with kindness and that seems to give her more energy to make my life miserable. So if you come up with a good answer please let me know and hopefully that will be sometime between now and death-mine. Good luck

Answer 4

Win her over to your side and try to become friends. By finding common ground she will start to respect you more and not see you as someone who has stolen her beloved son away from her.

If this does not work sit her down and do some plain speaking let her know that you will not be bullied by her. She will soon get the message.

If she falls out with you that's her problem not yours. I know it will be difficult but you must take a stance otherwise she will keep on interfering in your marriage.

Answer 5

ideally your spouse should beable to intervene as it is a very bad idea to get on the wrong side of mum in law! if you support your spouse when your own parent may do the same thing, then vice versa. Just have an open mind also, think how worse it could be, and remember as a mum she will always think her kid is in nappies, and needs constant mothering - better than anyone else can provide!

Answer 6

Try talking it out first, If she doesn't take the hint try putting some distance between the two of you, rather it be physical or emotional distance, the important thing is to remember she is a lot older than you and she will pass on long before you do. So is it really worth all the hassle. Seriously, just smile and nod and do your own thing.

Answer 7

Smile, agree, then make your own decisions. My m-i-l is a self imposed shut-in ( she has emphysema and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, and is on H2O 24/7). She is a constant complainer because she is self conscious about her H2O. Consequently, she has become very demanding, and expects us to cater to her every whim. We are middle aged and have a life of our own. So, basically we do want is necessary, and go on with our lives. We do what we can, when we have the time. I empathize with you, and suggest do what your have time for and leave the rest to what ever higher power you believe in. Keep your marriage strong and don't let her get to you. Good luck.

Answer 8

Unless for fall out with her you will never solve it...I had a hum dinger of a mother-in-law...she did mellow with old age...I divorced her son and remarried... she was some of the cause of the breakup... I have vowed never to be a horrible mother in law...although I say it myself Im not... good luck

Answer 9

Ya don't because no matter how much you try to tell them to back off they don't. And when your husband confronts mommy about it he's too nice. They are always going to have something to say about everything, and I honestly can't stand it myself. Well thats if you get a mother in law that can't keep to herself when need be, like mine!

Answer 10

sorry to hear that.Been there done that!
Once it even came to blows.She pulled the first punch.Tell her back up a little and let you be the wife/hubby and mom/dad you need to be.If that won't work,refuse to speak to her until she sees you as a responsible person.My mil once called me"that conniving **** that got pregnant and trapped her son into marraige"He proposed to me before I found out I was prego.(lost the baby).Or the"Is it because you used to do drugs that 3 of your kids have adhd?"If that was the case,how did my hubby get it?She said we wouldn't last a year.She has since passed on,and we're still married (17 yrs) I think we should start a support group.