as a baby he constantly cried as a toddler he was destructive always chewin on things,fidgeting and being rude. things are just getting worse to the point where i am going to have a nervous breakdown. i have been to parenting classes and he has been to see people in different group associations my other child who is 5 is completely different but my eldests behaviour is starting to rub off on the little one.. i even rung social services as a last resort but they were useless. i have done eerything i can to try and help his behaviour but i dont know what else i can do.. i have a chronic illness now for the last 3 yrs and the stress is starting to take its toll.. please help and dont say i am a crap mum cos it more complicated havea just explained the basics..he has outburts , swears at me is very angry and destructive towards everyone and hates school and cant hold a friendship down with anyone????????????
2006-08-11 08:10:25 · 31 answers · asked by pankypaxo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i really could do with sum advice
2006-08-11 08:13:42 · update #1
he has had anger management and counselling !!
2006-08-11 08:17:57 · update #2
and no i didnt drink or do drugs !!!
2006-08-11 08:22:39 · update #3
Have you seen a family doctor for a referral to a psychologist? Sounds like you could use some help. I"m sorry you are having these troubles, it has to be very hard to cope with a chronic illness and this kind of stress.
I think you have to keep trying to advocate for help for your child, as hard as it might seem to not hold it against him, he is just a child and he needs and probably wants help for himself as much as you do, but obviously if YOU can't succeed in finding the help, then he certainly can't do that on his own either.
How about school. Does his school have a resource or special needs teacher? You could ask the school to have a psychologist evaluate him and possibly pursue that from there?
I've read about simple things like allergies to certain types of foods that can cause extreme personality disturbances in kids. Wouldn't you hate to find out that something as simple as avoiding certain foods could be the key to helping your son, and that you never found out?
Don't give up!!!!! Keep strong, and remember, he is a kid and he needs help even more than you. Please keep asking your doc for a referral to a specialist, or ask your school for a psychologist evaluation. Don't let them hold your son from following through with helping your boy.
Good luck!
2006-08-11 08:17:47 · answer #1 · answered by teachinmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not a crap mum, and your boy is not a bad seed. You do, however, seem like you need professional help figuring this one out. You both would benefit from learning what triggers his outbursts, whether they are because he is scared, frustrated, angry, tired, confused, uncomfortable, or something else. Then work needs to be done to address the behavior, and stop it as quickly as possible by helping him resolve whatever he is feeling that is making him behave like that. Also, where did he learn this behavior? When did it first begin? Is it something he saw on television?...things like that.
You should call your child's school, and check to see if they have any advice on where to get some sort of counselor, perhaps to observe for a while and then offer you tools for dealing with it. Left ignored, however, his outrage will get louder and more destructive, and he will begin to do very dangerous things to get a little bit of attention, not to mention will start to deteriorate your health condition as well from the stress of it all. It's not too late right now, and since your 5 year old is an angel, he/she can help, too. Best of luck, I wish you a very happy family.
2006-08-11 08:29:06 · answer #2 · answered by ohiogirlie74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I work in a field where we help teenagers. I dont know how old your child is, but it sounds like you are going to have to call some kind of other social services for help. County or state services. Look in your phone book for helplines for Crisis hotlines. There's youth shelters for a short term cool down period for both of you. If he is a danger to you, you could always press charges against him and hopefully he will be forced into getting help that way. I dont know what services are like where you live or how old he is, but that would be best for a youngster here. This is all for starters. They should be able to provide you with ongoing care. Just dont give up.
2006-08-11 08:17:16 · answer #3 · answered by PersianPrincess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you see his pediatrician ask him about a behavorial therapist. Thats the best person to involve and you need it on record that you asked someone with a child like that. That way every time you return he can ask you the progress and refer you to someone else if needed. He will have resources than you can attain on your own. There are schools and places for children like that but hard to find on your own.
I also think that adding your location to this question you may get in touch with another mom who is going thru the same thing and may give you more resources.
2006-08-11 08:14:34 · answer #4 · answered by nastaany1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your pediatrician should be able to get you in contact with the right type of help whether it's a different type of doctor or a medication for your son. Hang in there.
There is help out there. Perhaps your doctor could put you on a mild anti-depressant to help you cope. It doesn't make you a bad mom. It can help you as you work through this difficult time.
2006-08-11 08:19:28 · answer #5 · answered by randeb06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're seeing the wrong people, take him to a Psych doctore, he may be ADD/ADHD, they have medication for that. Look up ADD/ADDHD and see if the symptons are similar to his, if so, use the contact numbers to reach a professional. I can tell you're not from the U S , so anything numbers I give you will be useless. Just do a search on the net for the info.
Good luck
2006-08-11 08:18:45 · answer #6 · answered by elguzano1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would bring him to the doctor and get him tested for ADD. I used to take a prescription for it but I outgrew it at about 16. Most will outgrow it at around 18 but until then I'm sure it can be really hard.
Also, punish him. Kids that don't ever get punished will usually turn out spoiled and will have a hard time controlling their emotions even into adult life.
2006-08-11 08:15:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW ! Sorry to hear about all this.
Try to find out the cause of his problem. Has he lost a
loved one, did you recently get a divorce, this can make kids act out this way. Have you had him tested for ADD
or ADHD ? That can also cause kids to act this way.
If you have not done so yet, you may want to talk to his child study team @ his school & ask them to analyze
your child's behavior & let you know what they think.
I hope this helps & good luck
2006-08-11 08:22:47 · answer #8 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you taken him to a doctor, he might have a hormone imbalance, and if not try a child shrink I heard they can really help in such cases.
Most importantly don't stress yourself out, by doing that you are only putting your health at risk and showing him that his actions can get a rise out of you which is not something he needs.
Good luck!!!!
2006-08-11 08:16:31 · answer #9 · answered by slash fan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand where u cooming from my son was the same way somethings going on with him with my son it was adhd u need to take him to a doctor tell the doctor everything i am not a doctor so i don't know everything but from your words i can tell he has a aggression issue there is help out there it will get better u just have to know what buttons to push if u want to chat more just send me a message
2006-08-11 08:16:18 · answer #10 · answered by heather f 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋