Should I cut off all ties with my family?

Question

For years my mother and father, but in particular my entire family, has manipulated me and used blackmail as a means to doing things "their way." My father, especially, has used passive-aggressive words and blackmail to ensure that I do things "his way."

I have also been told to take medication, even when a prior medication event put me in the intensive care unit. With the exception of Wellbutrin, I am against taking any medication as I have seen firsthand what some medications can do, even so-called "benevolent" ones.

I am considering permanently severing ties with my family and moving out of state and never speaking to them ever again. I believe this would be in my best interest, as they consistently disregard my opinion and label me as "nuts" or "crazy."

When I asked my mom on the telephone recently whether I was "just a problem to deal with," she laughed and said,"yeah." very sarcastically and rudely.

Paul

Answer 1

Family is all we have.. and you didnt say why you was on meds.

Answer 2

I know how you feel. I have an Asian family and they can get very manipulative. Medication is not always the best way to go, unless you absolutely need it to be stable. My humble suggestion is to find out why the family is acting the way they do. After you find the real truth, then address it or get the hell out of there, fast!! Sometimes, moving away for a while would be the best option for everyone. I hope that you are able to resolve the family issue and have a better relationship with them. Good luck in whatever you decide to do.

Answer 3

You know Paul I live out of state. I moved far away from my family. My dad is really controlling. My mom just goes along with it. I miss them a lot of the time. However, my sister tells me that I am lucky to be so far away. That it is good I don't have to deal with all the bull-**** that goes on with family's. You gota be ur own person and just blow off the junk ur parents say. That's what I do. They are always asking me when I am moving back home. I feel I am home with my husband and kids. Just follow ur heart only talk to ur Doctor about the medication you are taking. It's nobody Else's business, that is what I say. You don't deserve or need the negative. Good Luck...

Answer 4

well....i feel that families are *supposed* to be the most helpful, loving, supportive thing that u can have in ur life. blood is thicker than water.

having said that, if ur family happens to NOT be able to love and support and help you become better.. u do have to seek it for yourself. there is a reason why u are not happy. there is a reason why u feel that others are not doing what is Right. because they aren't. just because you are part of a family and love them, doesn't mean you have to stay around and let them walk all over you. love doesn't automatically mean u have to suffer....

my definition of love is this: u care SO MUCH for that person, that Their happines is put above Yours.

you probably already have this part down pat...the reason why i say this, is because the feeling of "indignance", or that u are being treated unfairly, is because you are not feeling appreciated for your efforts as a son, or family member. u feel that u have been trying to communicate, learn, grow with these people, and they are making u negative. what u *should have* is a family that loves u SO MUCH that Your happiness is put above theirs..that way, because you love them that much, and they love u that much, u will be able to figure out a positive solution together. but something is missing here, something is wrong in ur picture of a family. u are being disrespected and quite frankly, abused. because they are not trying to work WITH you, they are trying to push u down. whether they Love u is not the question..whether they are willing and able to do something positive with the love IS.

so if u need to move away, live w/ friends, or other family, who can help u become a more positive, happy, healthy person, than u may need to. but do it for yourself, and for your family... so that u can learn to do things on ur own, and NOT HATE them. the more u stay w/ them, i'm sure u will hate them. u are leaving SO THAT you won't have to hate them anymore...so if u do leave, do it with confidence, love, and sympathy... they cannot do anymore to help you, so u need to look for it urself. u are not trying to hurt them, but u need to ensure that u become the kind of MAN u need to be. a responsible, loving, caring, smart, healthy, and POSITIVE person. that is more important than staying at home just because they are ur family. of course u still love them. that's not the point!

perhaps once u become strong, u can come back and help them. and please try ur best not to "cut ties", as in never speak to them again if u Hate them. do it only if they force u to do that...if they cannot change and see that u need respect and support, not sarcasm and hate. good luck, and do what u need to do to become BETTER. dont' leave, and then run into negativity somewhere else and become bogged down, homeless, etc. do waht u need to do because u are constantly striving for the best, for the positivity, for the opportunities in life.

Answer 5

Move away and get a new life.
Change your name if you want to.

The distance will make you feel better.

You can talk to them or not... just remember that if you do talk to them, you are in control of the conversation. They start putting you down or making you feel uncomfortable, hang up and don't call back.

I have not talked to my family for 20 years.
I do think of them often but I remember why I left and who they are as people and I get over missing them in a second.

You can't choose your family but you can make a new one, with friends.

The downside is you can never ask them for any help again... you are on your own to sink or swim.

Answer 6

I don't know you, so I don't know if you need medication or not. I wonder if you could actually be mentally ill and your family is just trying to take care of you. If that's the case, you can follow their advice, or you can wait until you become a danger to yourself or others, and you are hospitalized and medicated against your will. It's up to you.

Answer 7

k well that is incrediable rude, I don't know if severing ties COMPLETLY is a good idea but i think putting some space between you guys is a good idea, lots of families neeed distance to keep them together, yours could just be another. I think move and call them if something really important happens, send birthday cards and holiday cards but you don't have to do more then that.

Answer 8

instead of makinh it permanant first try it for a little time move out and start ur life with out ur family. dont contact them for a while but make sure that they know how and where to contact u. if they keep in touch then fine ther wise just let it br on occasions and such. u have only one mom and dad no matter how they r. just keep diastance but dont break it completly

Answer 9

It's never good to severe ties with your family no matter how they act to you. My dad is always cussing at me and yelling for no reson and I considered to stop seeing him since my mom has custody of me but then I wouldnt have a dad and even though he makes me want to kill him sometimes were family and family is the most important thing to me and the rest of my family. Basicaly try to work it out or just ignore the bad things they say to you and just try to be nice.

Answer 10

No....Just say I am going to live my life with the freedom I am given I AM not asking for you apporval but I will accept if it is given freely. If not.... You do your own thing and know there are others that will love you no matter what.

Answer 11

I think it's best to take some time to step away from the situation for a while. Think about it, and then decide if you can really do it, and the real motives for doing it.