I'm 19 yrs old and I have a 3 yr old son. I dropped out of school when I was 5 months pregnant with him. I was a freshman. Now I'm a stay at home mom. I have no job. I never finished high school. All my relationships fail. I want a job but I don't have childcare. I hate being at home all the time. I'm still a teenager. I need love and adventure. What do u suggest?
2006-08-11 07:07:05 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You are very brave. I feel for you.
If you don't have a car, get someone to take you down to Social Services. They can help you get your diploma or GED. They can help you find a job and low cost child care. They have temporary financial assistance to help you to get onto your own two feet. Look into on line or at home courses that you can do when he's asleep or otherwise occupied.
After you've gotten an education and a job, then it will be easier to find some time and money for a sitter to go out, date, and have some fun.
As for love, that takes time to find the right guy. No every one will be willing to take on a girl that has a child, but there are ones who will. Patience is the key here.
Adventure? That comes as the child gets older. At 3, you are limited as to what you can do with him in tow, and how long you can leave him with a sitter. At your age you want to party, and at his age he wants to color. Big difference. When he's school age in another year or two, he'll make friends and want to sleep over. Alternate nights with his friend's parents. On the nights he's at their house, you can do whatever you want, within the law hopefully. But by the time he's in school, you'll have gotten your degree of one kind or another and have a steady job. You'll have the oppertunity then to find love and adventure without a child underfoot all the time.
Good Luck to you!
2006-08-11 07:30:06 · answer #1 · answered by welches_grape_jelly 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the very same situation when I was your age. The best bet for you is to get your GED, go to college, at night, if possible, using financial aid. In college you will meet career-minded people that have goals and you can make some good friends there. (Cute guys too!) Get on as much government assistance as you can to help with you and your child and with childcare. There are govt. programs designed that help women just like you. Have a friend or family member babysit for you if you can go to night school. Your child will be asleep at night while you are at college. When you get home from your classes, study a little and then go to sleep so you will be fresh to give your time and energy to your child during the day. When he/she naps...you can study more. Get a degree and get a career and a life for you and your child's future. Do not get pregnant again !!!!! until you know you can support you and your kids on your income alone.
As far as relationships are concerned....do not let anyone come between you and your child. Men respect a woman who respects herself enough to tell him to go jump in the lake if he tries to come between you and your child. And believe me, men will test you on it. Put you, your child and your goals first. You will only get respect. DO NOT compromise yourself for a man. You will only resent him later and the relationship will fail. Once you get a career, everything else will fall into place naturally. Be strong and you will see that you will get respect and you will have a long lasting relationship with a good partner when it is time. You are young and the adventure is just beginning.
2006-08-11 14:42:41 · answer #2 · answered by I love pineapple 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to start looking through the government or other local agencies for some assistance. There are places out there that provide a way to finish your GED and even some further schooling with scholarships and things. They even provide daycares or preschool assistance. And within your classes you'll be able to make friendships, and perhaps find the love and adventure you are looking for. And once he is school age in 2 years you'll have even more freedoms. But to get where you want to be will take discipline and time. But pretty soon you could get to a position where you have a good paying job and therefore your own vehicle and place to live, and all of the freedom you want. One more thought...you could find a support group for single teenage moms and make friends with them, and then trade off babysitting with them so you could get out.
2006-08-11 14:33:03 · answer #3 · answered by mommyem 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are plenty of on-line schools to get a degree while you're at home. As far as feeling down, exercise and you will feel so much better! My daughter just turned 18 and she'll be going away to college in a few months. I am depressed that she's leaving. Those early days of her life were amazing times, so try to embrace these days with love and excitement. You were given a gift, appreciate your son and give him the love he needs and deserves. Good Luck!
2006-08-11 15:37:49 · answer #4 · answered by Ben 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow sounds like a tough situation! I commend you on your strength to keep it all going.
Here is what I would suggest.
If you have any family or friends that would be willing to watch your child for free or for low cost wages - do it and go back and get your GED.
After that I would suggest going to night school to get your AA or a technical degree of some sort (nursing, dental, etc)
That way you can earn enough to take care of you and your baby.
If you dont have anyone that you can turn to for cheap child care it is going to be much difficult for you....I would suggest looking up WIC (women infant, children) and see what type of resources they have for you, or maybe the school you attend will have on-site childcare.
there are resources out there, you just have to find them in your area.
good luck! :)
2006-08-11 14:14:19 · answer #5 · answered by friskygimp 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Check yellow pages for low-income childcare. I worked in one before and they are actually really nice. You can take a day and go write your GED and once you get a job I'm sure a friend or family member would babysit when possible. If you work in a daycare you could bring your child there with you and you get a reduced cost.
2006-08-11 14:26:32 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs Cote' 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First things first. Look into getting a GED online. That would really be helpful. Do not rely on finding love with a man - you have love - your child! If you have no job, how are you supporting your child? If you are living at home, you should move out, get a job and get on with it! My mom had me at 19, and she had to bust her butt to take care of me. Get out there! :) You can do this.
2006-08-11 14:17:44 · answer #7 · answered by Fortune Favors the Brave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They have courses you can study at home to finish your G.E.D, and then possibly have a close friend or family member (preferably one who has their own or has dealt with children) while you apply for college on your spare time. Or try to find a temp agency that will find you a company with a day care and even possibly willing to train you.
2006-08-11 14:25:04 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww i know how you feel the local college can help you try going to your local wia it helps you go back to school pays for gas and child care i went through it and it was helpful even pays for ur ged test good luck
2006-08-11 16:48:09 · answer #9 · answered by Moo moo I'm a chicken 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a family member watch him and go to night school
2006-08-11 14:10:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋