How do you deal with a mother in law who shows favoritism towards your sister in law's kid?

Question

My mother in law does everything for my husbands sister's kid, but absolutly nothing for my kids, rarely even sees them.

Answer 1

I would talk to your husband about it first and see what he has to say, if nothing, then tell the grandmother that you don't think it's fair she treats the grandchildren differently and if she doesn't stop you will not let her see them anymore at all.

Answer 2

You should try talking to her and tell her that your kids sure love her and would like to see her more often. Then ask her what you can do for this to happen(bring the kids to her?). Make the effort to visit her more often and have the children bring her pictures that they have drawn or cards etc. If none of this works then accept that she is an inadequate person emotionally and is limited on how much love she can show. (My mother is like this not just to my kids but me too !)
Next step is to use this as a life experience for your kids. If they are too young to notice don't worry about it but when they are old enough tell them that grandma has a problem and just can't show affection to everyone but that doesn't mean that they aren't special and loved. Then list all the people that love them . Explain to them that not everybody in the world loves everybody else and that there will be many times that people might be rude or hurtful but, they must remember that they are special and loved by you.

Answer 3

I know how you feel. I had the same problem years ago. All you can do is give your children all the emotional support you can during visits. Don't encourage competition between the children for their grandmothers affection. You might try having a talk with her, and if that's not possible, ask your husband to intercede. If it turns out that nothing works, you might consider cutting back your visits. Sooner or later, all grandparents wake up and realize the errors of their ways. Hopefully before its too late.
Keep in mind that children are resilient, and don't notice half the things we do. If your children haven't shown signs of neglect, don't turn their heads in the wrong direction.

Answer 4

When your children aren't around, I would point out to your mother-in-law what wonderful kids your children are, and that she is going to miss that as they grow up. You don't have to act like a jerk about it, just kindly let your mother-in-law know how her biased actions have made you feel. If your husband gets upset about it, so be it. You have the right to call your mother-in-law out on the carpet about this.

I would also talk to your children about it. Kids are very, very bright and if YOU'VE noticed, they have too. Let them know their grandmothers' actions have nothing to do with them. Aren't families wonderful sometimes?

Answer 5

Good! Stay away from her!!! Mother in Laws could be evil.
Just worry about your husband and kids and F--ck everybody else.
Also, remember that's her own daughter she might feel the responsibility to come in as a mother to those kids.
It might even be positive that she thinks you are such a good mother that you don't need help.
Mother in laws are WOMEN...yes, they might feel jealosy and envy just like a woman does with a rival!!!
Yes, they are hatters!!! because you have her man oh excuse me her SON!

Answer 6

That is such a rotten thing for her to do. It doesn't help much but she will pay for it someday. Your kids will start not to care if she comes around or not. It happened in our family.

It is too bad, but all you can do is try to make sure your kids aren't hurt by it and just go one with life. The one thing I would not put up with is blatant favoritism. If you are all together and she gives the other children something and not your children, then do not put up with it. Stop being around her on those occasions.

Answer 7

There's nothing you can do. I've watched my 6 sister-in-laws fight and squabble for almost 30 years because their mother and father show favoritism towards certain grandchildren. It creates a lot of pain but you can't change them. All you can do is let it be okay and live your life normally or not let it be okay and stay away from her.

Answer 8

same here. my sister inlaw's daughter is 4yrs old. ever since my kids were born, my mother in law really favors her because she lives with them. this past christmas, my kids did not get any presents, but they gave their other granddaughter 10 presents. which it doesn't really matter, presents are just material. but my son felt bad. whether she is my mother in law, or not, no one is going to make my kids feel bad and not have a logical explanation for it. NO ONE! i suggest you casually bring it up in conversation and address the issue with her. don't let her deny anything. hope some of this helps.

Answer 9

It's like this My grandma hated me since i was born because of my biological father She loved my older sister and brother keep in mind my sister had a different father but me and my brother have same father she felt sorry for him and hated me out of 15 grandkids.....I'm older now and have 2 kids of my own and one one the way she still hates me but tells the rest of the family i should let my mother take my children to visit with her without me....never happened I have not seen or spoke to her for 8 years she has never met my children and never will. When i was little i could not understand why my own grandma didn't like me....It broke my heart but others in my family spoiled me more for her hate So she did not win... You do more for your children and make up the difference...

Answer 10

I have always said, that there's no problem that can't be solved with good witch ( with a B ) slap.

Ok honestly, talk to your husband about and have it talk to his mother. That way your not really interfering. ( for lack of a better word)
Ofcourse if your husband won't do that, you have to talk to her yourself. You may think it's not a big deal to your kids, but is, they feel slighted just like you do, and that generally leads to resent of their cousins and their grandmother.