If you knew your child would be severely retarded & would die by the age of seven, would you decide to have?

Question

the baby, have an abortion or give the baby up for adoption?

I love catherine b's, YahooGuru2u's, Royrox's, Giggly Giraffe's, Marie K's and Diamond 28's answers. I agree with all of them. I'm torn and don't know who to choose for best.

Answer 1

I had a healthy child with my first pregancy. The second one was a son who had anacephaly (absence of the brain stem) I had to make the choice whether to continue the pregnancy knowing that there was a 0% chance for my baby's survival. I chose to give him life for as long as I could. I held him and bathed him and took lots of pictures. I had a very short amount of time to hold him but a lifetime to cherish the memories. He would be ten this year and I have no regrets for my decision. I know that I made the right choice for me. No child (or parent) is ever perfect we just make the best of what we are given. I would have given anything for seven years with my son.

Answer 2

I would have the baby. People have babies that die before the age of seven and my heart goes out to these people. It doesn't matter if a child is retarded or "normal" because the child is still a human being and deserves a chance at life. Just because it is not the kind of life you imagine for a child, it will be this child's only experience of this life so it's up to the parents to make it an amazing experience for the child.

Answer 3

I agree with giggly giraffe 100%. Doctors can absolutely be wrong. What if you were to abort and after that found out that you had just aborted a perfectly healthy baby. I'm sure you would be devastated. Like she said God makes all people special. Enjoy the time you have to spend with him or her. You may even have longer then 7 yrs. Maybe he or she may not be as severely retarded as first thought. Just love your child no matter what the outcome.
Besides that an abortion is very painful. (my experience)

Answer 4

Keep it and get as much help as possible --- and teach the child that life is valuable.

I don't trust doctors. They have been wrong so many times. Sure they are more educated and can gather more statistics, but this is by no means a certainly. How can they say the child will certainly die in seven years? There could be medical advancements.

What about the God factor? God may have great plans for this kid. There are so many little kids with terminal illnesses that are more positive and bring more hope to the world than healthy people. Yeah, I'd need so much help ... but isn't the people who fulfil my need for help angels? I want angels ... they're great.

Answer 5

I see there are very few men answering this question and those that have answered say abort. I will offer a different perspective. I have NOT had to face this question, Thank God, and I would not find fault with others that would choose a different path. Every family is different and our needs and abilities are different. I would like to think that my wife and I would have decided to allow the baby to be born and then deal with the situation as best we could. I once met a man who was working as a counselor at a hospital. His job was helping parents with decisions just like the one you have asked about. He was a very nice young man and very smart. He limped and his hands were deformed. He always would share with the parents that if the tests that are now available had been available at the time his mother was pregnant with him that a great many doctors would have counseled his mother to abort. Then he says "I'm glad she gave me life. I am a miracle, the exception, not the rule. I don't want to hold out false hope to you, but never discount the miracle of life." Having seen this man and heard his story I believe I would give a miracle a chance. I don't think my wife could bring herself to do anything else. Life is a gamble, but if we throw away the dice because we don't like the odds, we'll never know what might have turned up.

P.S. If I'm ever sick I hope Dumplingmuffin is not my nurse! She should watch the movie "Dr. Cook's Garden".

Answer 6

I would take the cards that were dealt. There is no way of predicting the future and you never know what that child has to offer the world. Severely retarded or normal. I am Pro-choice. I would not have an abortion but I am not you. I would also not recommend to someone to have an abortion or give up a child because it would be less convienent for their life style.

Answer 7

I would abort if I knew that the child was going to die anyway. However some of them can end up living a long healthy life so one never knows other than God.

Answer 8

I would definitely keep the baby and love it and raise it like I would any other child. I believe that God chooses very special people to be the parents of special needs children. Just b/c a person is born "less than perfect" does not mean their life isn't worth living. My daughter was born very prematurely, at 25 weeks. She had a very good chance of having severe mental and phyiscal disabilities. While she does have Cerebral Palsy, she is not effected cognitively at all. In fact; she's most likely gifted! Imagine if I had "gotten rid of her". She's 4 1/2 and doing perfectly well, despite needing braces to aide in her walking. Problem with people these days is they have very little understanding of special needs, and very little patience to deal with things when they aren't "exactly" the way they "should" be.

And just a side note to the person who replied about their friend's son who has Cerebral Palsy and wasn't supposed to live past age 10: Cerebral Palsy in a non-progressive Neurological disorder. Basically, in a nut shell, it's brain damage. People with Cerebral Palsy have a "typical" life expectancy like any person without CP. There must have been an underlying medical conditon with your friend's son, b/c Cerebral Palsy itself will not kill someone. I'm very glad that your friend's son survived.

http://www.ninds.nih.gov/disorders/cerebral_palsy/cerebral_palsy.htm#What_is_the_prognosis

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerebral_palsy#Prognosis

Answer 9

well, i would NEVER give it up for adoption, knowing that it could spend all it's life in a home with other kids, never feeling the love of a real family.
I believe in abortion, but in this case, I'm not so sure.
If I was stable enough at the time, I might just have her/him and love the child for as long as he/she will live, and maybe a miracle will happen, and he/she will live longer then expected. Even if not, at least they would feel love during those seven years.
But never, ever, would I put the child up for adoption.
But wow....strong question.

Answer 10

i have a child that when she was born she was severely disabled (as retarded is an awful term) and yes my daughter has 4 holes in her brain and her doctors think that by age 7-8yrs she will no longer be with us but i would not change a thing about having her as she is our Sunshine and when she smiles it brightens the whole room
so my answer is no i would not abort or give up for adoption