Help with my shy kitty?!!?

Question

We adopted a new cat about a week ago. He is a seven year old. He has been hiding since we got him, and on the rare occasion I do get to pet him, he purrs and seems to like it. He will not come out, except when we all go to sleep. I would like to show him some affection so that he can see I won't hurt him, but I also don't want to force him out. Any ideas of how I can calm this poor thing down?

Answer 1

Bless your heart for adopting an older kitty. They are harder to place because everyone wants a cute kitten.
You don't know what your new cat has lived through before he came to live with you. He could have had some bad experiences with people. He could have had his trust in humans betrayed.
Continue to meet his basic needs of food, water, clean litter box, safety, and, always be there with a soft voice, a scratch behind the ears, a gentle hand.
Don't force yourself on him by holding him against his will. Accept him for the cat that he is, and he may, eventually, warm up to the whole cuddly kitty thing. If not, enjoy the times he deems you "worthy" of HIS attention. Cats are unique, and perfect in and of themselves.
I have 5 cats, all adopted as kittens, and even at that, two of them only want to interact when THEY want it - and to this day, neither of them want to be picked up.

Answer 2

Entice him out with some cat treats like Pounce. You could also get some catnip and try to get him to come out--they can eat it, it's from the mint family.
You might try some toys as well. If all else fails though, you will have to force him out. Hold him close and talk to him in a soft voice while petting him. This will take time but eventually he will become more comfortable with you and your family.
When you have the chance, get down on the floor and try playing with him. Once you are at the same level as he is he won't be so afraid. Some cats are overwhelmed by the size of their owners and the only way to overcome it is to get down to their level.
Once you have gained his trust, give him a message. They do love that. I message both my cats a few times a week and they eat it up.
A great resource for cat behavior-

http://thepetshow.com/


Warren Eckstein is an animal behaviorist and has a radio show that I listen to all the time... it's usually on weekends. He wrote a book called "How to Get Your Cat to do What You Want". You may want to get a copy and check it out. Great stuff!!!

Have a great day and hope this helps.

Answer 3

All the posts here are simply outstanding!

I would like to add that you can get a Bach flower essence at most health food stores. It is called Rescue Remedy and people use it which is why it's so easy to find.

A little bottle costs about $18 and seems to last forever. You shake the bottle very well and apply three to four drops to the cat's body on the fur between its ears. You don't have to "rub it into skin" like you do with Advantage. It absolutely cannot harm your cat in any way. Use it for at least ten days and apply it three to four times a day. Inexpensive, easy to apply. What more can you ask?

It contains five of the Bach essences -- covering pain, shock, trauma, fears of things past and fears of things future. If there is something in it that the cat does not need (maybe pain and shock) it doesn't matter. The cat simply will not utilize it.

This kitty has obviously had some trauma in its life, and is holding onto many fears. With all the wonderful techniques outlined for you here this kitty will make a good adjustment to your home and come to trust you. And the emotional healing of the past will be eradicated by the RR. Trauma and fears of the past and present are stored in the body and need to be released for the optimum health of the animal.

I believe every animal owner should have it around the house. In the event that something horrible happens and the cat is traumatized or injured. Apply it on your way to the vet's. I have a vet who uses it immediately as he takes a kitty out of its box.
Put it on him before boxing him to take to a vet, etc.

You will still have plenty left in your little $18 bottle after this treatment of him now and it will be there for emergency situations.

Answer 4

It really depends on how long you've had him. For some cats it can take a long time for them to feel comfortable with their new surroundings. (Oh by the way, someone mentioned holding him. DON"T hold him. It will make him feel trapped and may hinder what you're trying to accomplish.) It may just be his age. We have a ten year old cat that lives in our daughter's room. The only time he comes out is to eat and use the litterbox. If we want to pet him or have any interaction with him, we have to go into his territory. It seems like this behavior has become more so as he has aged. Just give him time and you will know whether its shyness or just his personality. Just don't force him out. You may want to get some toys and see if he'll play. A box works great for this. Turn it on its side so he can walk into it. He can be inside it and feel safe and you can take just a simple stick from your yard and rake it along the box. Then slowly move the stick up to the opening of the box where he can "attack" it. Most cats love to play this way and helps him to open up to you! Good luck with your new friend!

Answer 5

Give it a safe place to stay until it adjusts. I use my bedroom and make a spot in the closet, then I go in a visit with kitty and keep things quiet. They after about a few days to a week, I leave the door open but dont force kitty to go out. Little by little kitty will sniff around, maybe even dart out and run back in lol. But just take it slow, and let kitty get used to things on its own time. My adult female had spent her whole kitten life at the Humane Society in a cage. You would never know it now, she runs the house! lol GL!

Answer 6

This happened with my cat when I got her. She had been abandoned in a sack on my mum's friend's farm. We took her in and she was terrified. What I did was close the door and just simply sit down in the same room as her and softly call her name. Sometimes she came but when she didn't I'd get a book out to occupy myself or something and stayed in the room for a bit so she got used to me being around her. Now she lets anyone pick her up! Hope I helped!

Answer 7

Food, food, food. Show me a cat that doesn't like food, and I'll show you a turtle.

You have to realize that a 7 year old cat is in middle age, and is somewhat set in his ways. It is going to take him time to get used to his new space. It is also going to take time to get used to his new people. Feed him. Cats like food. Pet him or brush him, if you can, but let him go, if he puts up a struggle. Let him know that he can go when he wants to. Just give a bit of time, and he'll come around.

Answer 8

My kitty was like that at first too. I just showed him how much fun it is to be pet, and then he became the most relaxed cat I've ever seen. He would literally sleep differently too, he'd be half hanging off of the couch... it's so funny how cats actually show you how they're feeling... but just be patient with it.

Answer 9

It will take the cat some time to get used to his new surroundings. Some of my cats we have had for a few years and they still are shy. So maybe it will just be his personality.

Answer 10

try bringing food 2 him put it on the floor first then after a while put it on your hand. he might trust u a little more and when he comes out for the food, just pet him softly and don't make any quick movements. i read in a book that cats usually run away from people because they walk towards them wrong. approach their rear end side kinda at an angle.