A guy told my daughter not to tell everybody if they ever dated again (which she only told a few friends the first time). I thought that was terrible. She's okay with it. She said if she dated someone she wouldn't want everyone to know because of all of the questions. I feel if you like someone enough to date them, it shouldn't have to be a secret. I don't mean blab to the world, but telling friends should be something you'd want to do. If others find out...okay.
2006-08-11 05:00:36 · 22 answers · asked by Lisa 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What's the big secret??? I would not date anyone who wanted me to keep it a secret. What is the jerks problem? Is he with the CIA, in the Witness Protection Program? Is he married?
You are correct, it is terrible. I hope your daughter runs the next time he asks her out.
2006-08-11 05:05:19 · answer #1 · answered by Patti C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why does he want to keep it a secret? Is there an age difference? A cultural issue? If two people truly care for each other and are dating, they wouldn't care who knows. Sounds like other factors are involved.
I believe your daughter should look for another guy to date. One who isn't ashamed to let the world know they are together and one who doesn't have baggage. If they get married, will that be a secret too? Then if children come along? Can't hide them forever. She should move on with someone else.
2006-08-11 12:10:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're definitely right. If you like someone enough to consider yourself "dating" than it should not be that big of deal to tell, at least a few close friends. In fact it is important to tell your friends so that way they don't think you're alienating them from your life or whatever.
At any rate, by this guy telling your daughter not to tell anyone he is pretty much telling your daughter that he is ashamed of "them" as a couple, or worse, her. Now may be a good time to talk to your daughter about self worth. Also, she may seem okay with it, but it obviously bothered her enough to talk to you about it. You should definitely just be there for her right now. Good Luck!
2006-08-11 12:08:54 · answer #3 · answered by Heavensent 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hm... sounds tricky, but I think that it depends on the situation. When my boyfriend and I started dating we told alot of people, but then we broke up. So, when we got back together, we decided to keep it private because so many people were getting into our business and some actually would start rumors which would in turn make us fight. It's a private matter anyway. If they're okay with it, why not?
2006-08-11 12:03:50 · answer #4 · answered by ceesvamp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As a father I can honestly say that i would be crushed if my daughter was to start dating and not tell me about it as I would like to meet the guy she is dating and that way if anything goes wrong I could be there for her and for the guy if the situation warranted it
2006-08-11 12:03:39 · answer #5 · answered by flying_eagle_72 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that this guy is hiding something and he does not want it to get out.
I don't know most people don't care if you say that you are dating them or what ever.
The other things is that maybe he is embarrassed of her and if that is the case she should just move on and find a man who does not care if she tells the world that they are dating.
2006-08-11 12:04:44 · answer #6 · answered by Brooklyn Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think secret relationships are safer for young kids. It saves them from harassment, teasing, and rumors. Sometimes though, if you have a secret relationship, it is because you are also seeing someone else. For guys it is more difficult because the girlfriends will want to hang around him every chance they get. I always kept my relationships quiet at school and would go to their houses after school.
2006-08-11 12:06:18 · answer #7 · answered by The Princess of Pleasure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your daughter should eliminate that guy from her life. Questions can be bothersome, but that is no reason to have some sort of secret relationship. She should be with someone who deserves her...someone who is willing to let people know that he cares for her and willing to deal with questions that are asked of the relationship.
2006-08-11 12:04:05 · answer #8 · answered by bubabe_08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell if i was your daughter. but if it is your daughter secret then do not tell anyone. you should have a talk with her and tell her that she should have to keep a secret but if she still says i do not want to talk about it or i am fine that what she wants and you can't change her.
2006-08-11 12:08:06 · answer #9 · answered by jessica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you or they enbearest of the other ? Is one married ? Why would someone not want anyone to know ? I would want to tell the world If I likes or loved someone !
2006-08-11 12:06:39 · answer #10 · answered by ldp999000 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋