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Only fowl jokes please

2006-08-11 04:37:40 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music Jokes & Riddles

15 answers

To get to the other side. Do you mean fowl like bird jokes?





The preacher buys a parrot

A preacher is buying a parrot.

"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.

"Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.

"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."

"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"

"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.



Chickens with books

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.

Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.

The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them.

She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."



Very Insulting parrot

Mrs. Peterson phoned the repairman because her dishwasher quit working. He couldn't accommodate her with an "after-hours" appointment and since she had to go to work, she told him, "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dish washer, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you a check. By the way, I have a large rotweiler inside named Killer; he won't bother you. I also have a parrot, and whatever you do, do not talk to the bird!"

Well, sure enough the dog, Killer, totally ignored the repairman, but the whole time he was there, the parrot cursed, yelled, screamed, and about drove him nuts.

As he was ready to leave, he couldn't resist saying, "You stupid bird, why don't you shut up!"

To which the bird replied, "Killer, get him!!!"



Purchasing a new bird

After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment.

This went on for many months and the wife was going crazy with boredom. Then one day at a pet store, the wife saw this big, ugly, snorting bird with a hairy chest, powerful hairy forearms, beady eyes and dribble running down the side of its mouth.

The shopkeeper, observing her fascination with the bird, told her it was a special imported "Goony bird" and it had a very peculiar trait. To demonstrate, he exclaimed, "Goony bird! The table!"

Immediately, the Goony bird flew off its perch and with single-minded fury attacked the table and smashed it into a hundred little pieces with its powerful forearms and claws! To demonstrate some more, the shopkeeper said, "Goony bird! The shelf!"

Again the Goony bird turned to the shelf and demolished it in seconds.

"Wow!" said the wife, "If this doesn't attract my husband's attention, nothing will!" So she bought the bird and took it home.

When she entered the house, the husband was, as usual, sprawled on the sofa guzzling beer and watching the game. "Honey!" she exclaimed, "I've got a surprise for you! A Goony bird!"

The husband, in his usual bored tone replied, "Goony Bird, my foot!"




I think that I'm a chicken


Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!



Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from Colonel Sanders!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: Because it was a double-crosser.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the beach?
A: To get to the other tide.

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Chickens hadn't evolved yet.

2006-08-11 04:59:38 · answer #1 · answered by GravityGirl 3 · 0 0

To answer this joke scientifically we have to ask ourselves a few questions:
1. Did crossing the road help the chicken reproduce?
2. Did crossing the road help the chicken eat?
3. Did crossing the road help the chicken survive?
After asking ourselves this question, then, and only then, can we determine a likely answer.

2006-08-11 12:45:57 · answer #2 · answered by JEFF HARDY #1 FAN 3 · 0 0

I don't know! Why did the chicken cross the road?

2006-08-11 11:40:58 · answer #3 · answered by ErC 4 · 0 0

The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious.

2006-08-11 11:51:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

why cant the chicken cross the road without its motives being questioned?

2006-08-11 11:58:06 · answer #5 · answered by Hannah Banana 1 · 1 0

Because it was running away from all the papparazzi asking if the original chicken joke was true.

2006-08-11 11:40:40 · answer #6 · answered by Lauren 5 · 0 0

because the chicken saw the zebra crossing. or

may be she wants to loose some weight on doctor's advice

2006-08-11 12:16:18 · answer #7 · answered by Huma 2 · 0 0

Why does EVERYONE want to know? Can't the chicken have a little privacy?

2006-08-11 12:00:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

The BLINKING lemonade stand! LOL.
Poor, tired Chicky!

LOL.
Have a great evening!

2006-08-11 14:25:12 · answer #9 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0 0

Cuz he was a Mexican Chicken and this was his way of practicing.

2006-08-11 11:41:16 · answer #10 · answered by VetteLeo 6 · 0 0

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