My boyfriend and I were living together for a year. Recently we had been having a lot of problems and he left the other night and moved back in with his parents for the time being.
We spoke yesterday for the first time since he left and I suggested that we continue dating (but not living together) and perhaps it would be easier for us to work it out that way. It's not what I want, but if that's what it takes I will deal with it. He agreed that this was a good idea because he still want us to be together but I'm so worried that it won't work this way. I'm really dedicated to working out our differences and I've been trying very hard (even before the split).
Does anyone have any experience with a situation like this? Can it work? How do we make it work?
2006-08-11 04:34:48 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This was not a situation where anyone cheated on anyone. It's basically just a situation where we have differences we need to work through.
2006-08-11 04:40:27 · update #1
consider this. you weren't living together when you started going out. so really, you know that the situation is at least workable, if not preferable. i understand how you feel, and it feels a bit like a rejection that he moved out on you. but its not that. simply state, he's just taking a little break to get his head back together. he knows that he cares about you, and you know that you care about him, otherwise you wouldn't be posting here. it can definitely work. what i would suggest doing is, while he's still not living with you, pick a neutral site, neither home, and sit down to discuss the problem. doing so in public will ensure that the conversation will stay civil and that tempers won't fly. i'm not saying they would, but its always a possibility. tell him that you want to discuss the problem, and find the solution. explain to him that life has its little problems, even with people who live together or are married, and that they are unavoidable. but, explain to him that the situation can be a little easier if you set up some ground rules and agree that when one of you has a grievance of some kind, you'll sit down to discuss it rationally, not yell and scream about it. compromise, communicate, cooperate. the 3 C's of conjoined living. good luck, and i hope it helped.
2006-08-11 04:41:41 · answer #1 · answered by begeeman13 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No sorry to say it but it sounds like you are on the slow path to a breakup sorry to be the bearer of bad news but if he has moved out then obviously the problems cant be dealt with in the correct manner. me and my partner have lived together for 6 years now and im 99.9% sure if one of us was to move out over an argument then it would just be a matter of time before we split completly.
From what you said he moved out and ran home to mommy and daddy which is pretty bad because it sounds like he cant take the adult responsability that comes with a relationship I.E talking problems through comming to mutual aggrements meeting half way etc etc.
And without those things mentioned above in a relationship it is unfortunatly doomed to fail no matter how much one person wants it not to end.
What todo next? well i would say ok we live appart now lets take it easy as freinds and no sex and see what happens when he realises he isnt gods gift to women chances are you can both make another shot at the relationship. While your doing that go out meet some people you might find that you find somone who you dont argue with 24/7 or atleast less than you currently do and also somone who is willing to talk issues through to make the relationship stronger not running whenever you disagree over something silly.
However i wouldnt offer to still date him while he lives at his mommys because you have just given him the green card to free sex with no commitment street.
Hope this helps just remember your not alone.
2006-08-11 11:53:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I went through sort of the same thing. We did get back together and then split up about 2 years. It lasted for awhile but we ended up splitting up. I think it was the fact that we lived together period. In some situations, that doesn't work.
2006-08-11 11:39:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it does work me and my now husband had the same problems a few years ago and it really helped us put everything into perspective. All you can do is try.
2006-08-11 11:41:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You did what??It sounds like u need to grow up.Have u ever heard of the saying to have ur cake and eat it to.He's not ready for commitment and especially not with u but he's very happy to accept ur offerings because he knows what comes with it so just leave him alone it might hurt for awhile but u'll get over him.
2006-08-11 11:50:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
didn't work for me and my ex.. but he cheated on me.
I've got some friends who this worked for, but if it doesnt get better fast, it wont work.
Good luck
2006-08-11 11:39:32 · answer #6 · answered by attila 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋