how come that i expect to be rejected by girls and that iam terrified of rejection by them?

Question

so much so that it makes me withdraw into myself and i suddenley dont have anything to say to them and i suddenly feel really bad about myself and i become suddenly self aware of myself and my circumstances.... this is mostly on the net. ive got a feeling my rapid thoughts might have something to do with it, but im not sure...

also my extreme low self esteem. f***ckinell!

Answer 1

My dear , you have inferiority complex. You got to resolve this to be a better man. It's not your fault at all as this complexity is built along your personality upon your development since your birth. There are many factors however which can help to overcome this and it is all dependent on your self . Foremost, you got to believe in yourself. Discover your strengths and use them to combat your weaknesses. Your weaknesses are part of your personality and you should do something on them .Think of alternatives to resolve your weaknesses rather than thinking them the pessimistic way. You need sometime to improve your self esteem and confidence. Start by relating casually with anyone and as I said optimism is greatly required in your every move.Always be yourself,believe in yourself,know yourself and act yourself. Lastly, "never mind what others say, just be the way you are."

Answer 2

I am sorry to hear that you have had such a challenging past. There is a plus side though. You have survived all the challenges you faced. Now it is time to take it a step forward and learn to heal. If you have not already done this you need to make arrangements to see a counselor, therapist, or attend group meetings for some of the issues you have faced. As for the on line romance possibilities. Remember the object is not to hide behind the computer it is to use it as a way to express yourself. The key word here is yourself. But, If you feel like you are ever at a lost for words ask her about herself. Anything, her job, her childhood, her hobbies, her likes and dislikes. You may find that you have some things in common. Don't use the computer to create a fantasy that has no true grounds. Use it to help you overcome your fear of rejection. If she decides for whatever reason that you are not compatible then at least you dont have that hear that face to face. You might be surprised to find that you are capable of much more than you perceive you are. Baby steps are still steps. Move forward or fall behind. Good luck!

Answer 3

Because you haven't done it enough.. Get out there and start talking to them- you could start on match.com or yahoo personals or something for practice. It's like interviewing for a job- most of us are pretty nervous during the first few job interviews, but once you get used to it and realize that if that one doesn't work out there will be another one coming up later it doesn't seem so critical that you succeed an any given attempt.

Women usually sense nervousness and fear of rejection as weakness. When I started dating again I was nervous as hell for the first 5 or 10 women that I met and didn't make a good impression at all. After that I wasn't nervous at all and my success rate skyrocketed. Lately the women I meet from match ask me why I'm not nervous.. they see the lack of nervousness as strength and confidence.

Answer 4

Get a 3- line mantra that you repeat out loud .last thing before bed and first thing after you wake up. It must be said out loud so you hear your own voice. Something like:

1. I love myself
2.I am proud of myself
3. I am a winner!

After you get used to doing this for a month, start having casual social interactions with women in a group setting. Not dates. Just join friends, coworkers, relatives or whoever and observe them. Your confidence will improve. Women are just as insecure about men, there's nothing to be afraid of.

Answer 5

You have been programed to feel this way....it is a horrible feeling to have, too. To be made to feel that you are somehow not as good as everyone else, or to be made to feel that everyone is better than you....your rapid thoughts are a feeling of complete uncertainty and insecurity that you have been made to feel...you are so senstitive to everything right now....beleive it or not, a lot of people feel this way. But when you are made to feel this way all of your life for one reason or another,....you are then a product of your environment. The brilliant thing about you is that you are questioning it...where someone really sick would not care. You are a very sweet insecure person and it is good you are reaching out. God Bless.

Answer 6

I think it's natural to fear rejection and if you're straight you'll probably be nervous talking to girls for the first time. Don't worry just say whatever comes to mind.

Answer 7

We've all been there at some point in life, all you have to do is instill confidence in your actions, and keep trying, even if its false confidence it works trust me. Eventually you'll be successful in finding the right woman.

Answer 8

go see a doctor before you live your life alone till death
im 51 and sounds so like me ,women can sence that in a men and will say far away from men that r like that.

Answer 9

you just need to improve your self esteem and confidence, get people who like you to tell you the good bits about yourself and think about them when youre talking to women
or maybe youre just not attractive so noone wants to date you....just kidding lol just focus on your good points

Answer 10

then build confidence. be a man. we fall down and go back up again and win our girl!!!!