I am a 24 yr old single mom of a 4 yr old. I am in school full time, 9 hrs a day. I commute on transit for 3 hours a day with daycare, school, etc. I am in debt, can't find cheaper housing, and am scraping by- barely. I reuse items, only buy on sale items, cut out dining out, no nights out with the girl, have been selling old clothes, toys, etc on ebay to make some cash... I am behind 2 months on rent because my student loan hasnt come yet (6 weeks late). I am about to be evicted. I am really stressed out, and I find myself hysterically crying all the time over silly things. I cry myself to sleep every night, I worry constantly... my appetite is gone, and I just want to lay in bed and sleep all day.
I was once on antidepressants, but don't want to go that route again. I just so badly want to be a good mother to my son, and to get back on track financially. I make sure my kid has nice clothes, eats very well, goes to swim lessons. but I am barely keeping up. I'm depressed. Any advice?
2006-08-11 03:21:50 · 11 answers · asked by melaniecampbell 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
First of all...relax! You'll make it!
Second, I really think you could stand to take a semester off. Here's why: 1. You are spending an awful lot of money (it seems) on the commute and daycare. 2. You're never going to be able to succeed in school with all of the stress. You can always go back next semester (or even wait until your son is in Kindergarten).
Third, normally I'd put this first but I don't know you and don't know your faith. In my circumstance (similar all around except my being a man), prayer was a big part of my recovery.
From my view through your writing, I suggest taking one week off for you and your son (just hang out a bit) and then rearrange everything. You can (and will) go back to school but your health and that of your son has to come first.
E-mail me if you want more help or if you have more questions. I am an actual, recovering "depressed" person and can really help if you'd like me to.
Either way...love coming your way.
2006-08-11 03:32:49 · answer #1 · answered by Mister Bob the Tomato 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Financially: Does your school have an emergency loan program? Both my last school and my current graduate school have programs were you can borrow a certain amount in anticipation of your loans. For repayment, the schools deduct the amount from the funds once they are received. Also, as a single mom, have you utilized your community resources for financial assistance? Like the Salvation Army. There are programs you may qualify that will help you pay your rent. I don't know where you live but most large cities have nonprofits designed to help you.
Depression: Since you were on antidepressants previously, you may be more vulnerable to episodes of depression. Seek help before you go so low that you are unable to make the best decisions for you and your son.
2006-08-11 03:37:11 · answer #2 · answered by Jena W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You likely don't need antidepressants, unless you have an underlying mental health issue. Counseling could be all you need, but you should really reach out to a local social service agency to help take care of the physical things that are lacking now. Try to get into a mental health professional as soon as you can. They usually have waiting lists. If this is the case, contact a Parents Anonymous support group for in the meantime. Good luck! I have been there! Your nurse at your university should be able to refer you to the psychologist there at the school, also. It will get better.
2006-08-11 03:39:13 · answer #3 · answered by alone1with3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you might need professional help because you are displaying all the signs of clinical depression. If you don't want to go that route, you can try taking St. John's Wort instead of prescription meds. As for your debt situation, do you have a lot of unsecured debt, like credit cards? If you do, look in the Yellow Pages under "Credit and Debt Counseling." My first wife and I got in too deep and an agency called Consumer Credit Counseling Service helped us out. They work with the credit card companies to get your monthly payments lowered. They only charged us $10.00 a month for their services, and in less than three years we got all that unsecured debt paid off. As a last resort, you should consider going to school part-time and working part-time to make extra money. Maybe your college has a job-placement program or will give you college credit for work experience...Good luck, and try to keep your chin up!
2006-08-11 03:32:04 · answer #4 · answered by sarge927 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are social service organizations all over this country....start calling them. The squeaking wheel is the one that gets the grease. Just sitting crying accomplishes nothing. Call your college counsellor, they can help, and they can direct you to other resources. If you were on antidepressants before, I suspect you may still need them. Get back on them girl. Better to take a pill a day and have the energy you need, than to let depression pull you and your child down a road of misery.
2006-08-11 03:30:05 · answer #5 · answered by essentiallysolo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I feel so sorry for you. At least you are trying! Go to your local social services and see if they can set you up with affordable housing. It doesn't have to be in a bad neighborhood either. See if you can get food stamps, b/c food is half the battle. Call and see if your student loan check has been mailed out. Go to your landlord and TRY to explain your situation, don't just dodge the landlord. Sometimes people will see your situation for what it is. If you aren't collecting child support, go to child support enforcement, in some counties, they will go ahead and pay it and try to collect from the father. Good Luck and try to be positive!!!
2006-08-11 03:52:12 · answer #6 · answered by surelycoolgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
see the student financial aid director and let him know your circumstances . the loan money is more than likely in the school and being held up in acct. ask for emergency issue of your check. If cant be done get an emergency loan or grant . If no money is available drop out this semester and get a job for quick cash like a waitress job,
2006-08-11 03:32:32 · answer #7 · answered by nora7142@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abut the debt situation. Article in my resource box might be able to give you some info.
Good luck
2006-08-11 13:02:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe seeing a therapist would help.Remember that you are a good Mom and that's why you went back to school.
2006-08-11 03:39:29 · answer #9 · answered by Celebrity girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am there with you sister i know what you are going through tou need some to talk to to relate i am back on track i filed bankrupt so me and my son wont loose our house i know what you are going through but dont give up your son is there for you
2006-08-11 03:37:48 · answer #10 · answered by brian.taylor2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋