Best Time?

Question

Which of the following would be better?

A.) To have a childern now while both me and my husband are in college, while we have very little money and are Still Young.

B.) Wait til we have more money, a house(apt. for now), things that would be more fitting/convenance to have while the kids are around, and we have jobs that are stable, etc., etc.

C.)None of the above; Too Late. (Past ripe age to have kids(infertile), or we put our careers 1st instead of kids).

Chose your answer wisely, I am on birth control, which means by the time we both get out of college we both could be infertile (he will be 30 years old and I will be 26 years old) and it could be too late.

We both want to have childern but I fear it may be to late if we wait. But if we do not wait however, I may be not be ready right now. So tell your opinions and what you think, what you would do, or any ideas you may have. A lot of couples have chose option B.) To wait til they have whatever and its to late.

I agree and thanks for all your answers and opinions.

I think anyone needs to wait til they are fully prepared and can handle every thing ahead of them, especially kids. I want to be able to give them everything that I didn't have, but not spoil them. As well as opportunities that I never had, etc..

Duende71, "You have plenty of time despite
your ignorant remark about 'ripeness' ".

Sorry about that, you all know its definitely not a fact, so its just my opinion (I knew that would happen, from now on I'll put fact/opinion since there is always such a fuss about what is this and what is that). Sorry if I offended anyone. Everyone has a right to his or her opinion so don't be alarmed(...that's life. Stinks huh.)

Answer 1

Finish school. Raising a child while both of you are in school and looking for careers would be extremely stressful. Unless you are independently wealthy you should start your career and be settled in. You don't necessarily have to have a house.

30 and 26? You should be just fine unless you have predisposed fertility issues. I am 34 and working on my first (DH is 35). Many, many couples are waiting and having children in their 40's. It is very common and much safer these days. If you discover fertility issues later there are many options to help you concieve as well as adoption.

The most important thing when wanting to concieve is knowing that you can provide for this new life and not have to struggle. Money can get tight, but you shouldn't run yourself into mass debit or worry about should you buy food or pay the power.

Answer 2

I would plan on getting a house as soon as possible...it's the best move...and you won't magically become infertile at 26 (nor he at 30)...I hope not I'm 28 and we've just started trying...

Back to getting a house...think of it this way...every month you pay rent to someone, you will never see that money again, you might as well just throw it away...if you are paying on a mortgage you are basically putting close to the same amount of money into an automatic savings account that not only says "We have good credit" but is 100% transferable to another house that has room for all the kids you could possible want! Most states have first time homebuyers incentives, so you don't even have to have a large down payment.

If you are still in college you don't want to get pregnant now anyway...you'll have to schedule work, school and the baby between you, your husband and who ever else and that's a lot to juggle...your grades may suffer or you may find that you want to stay home...

Also, you do want the stability of better jobs...especially ones that have health insurance...an illness can be devastating without insurance...as well as life insurance and some emergency savings...

Did I worry you enough? Relax, you'll know the right time when it comes...

Answer 3

When I had kids, I was 28 and my ex was 30. We also had a second one later. We both were done with college, had established careers, and had some of the good things in life. That worked well for us. The kids will be in college before I'm 50, so I will still have time to travel and stuff before I get too old.

My best friend and his wife just had their first child, and he is 40. So, with medical technology, you can have children into your 40s without many problems. I would say try to establish your lives first. It becomes a lot harder to go to school and advance in your careers when you have kids.

Answer 4

30 and 26 to be infertile- thats a little far fetched but considering the effects of long term birth control... hmm....

Materially, I'd say, B. Don't really need to have everything but at least a stable income. Realistically, nothing matters more than the fact that you 2 must be ready/willing to take on the responsibilities of parenting.

Answer 5

none of the above. You are never prepared fully for kids. If you chose A, you will struggle for years to recover financially and you'll regret not being able to give your kids the things you want to. Plus, I think its better if the husband & wife have some time togther for themselves before kids (maybe a year or 2 at least). If you wait for B, you may never have kids. Things always happen which delays the best laid plans of mice and men. its abetter choice, but you have to be a bit more flexable in you plans. Choice C just plain sucks. You want to be able to give your kids piggy back rides before your back and knees go out. Plus, do you really want to change diapers when your about to collect social security? You want to be young enough to take him/her on a roller coaster, play catch in the yard, and be around for his/her HS Grad, college, wedding, etc.
I can't give you an answer and neither can anyone else. But I hope this info/opinion helps in your decision

Answer 6

Honestly I really don't feel there is ever a right time to have a child. You will always keep finding reasons on why you think the current time is not right. I think I would try as soon as college is done or within 6 months of you completing it, I say this cause if you wait till you are in a career you may feel like , with your job you don't have time for a child. where as if you have the child already you will find a way to accommodate the child with your work schedule from the very beginning of your career. hope this helps you

Answer 7

I would say its best to do it when you are young
I had mine when I was in college
however if you dont have alot of money you will need to dish out some funds for childcare which can be expensive
You can get some type of help with that tho
Either way you are going to need some form of childcare
which means you might want to have your career in progress
however you wont be able to just start and then get pregnant you will need to wait a while and get establish
so that could be years and years from now

Answer 8

B.
I hardly considered myself old or infertile when I had my first child at age 32. Having one when you unable to completely care for your child financially or emotionally will only cause grief in the long run. Finish your education and become financially independant first. You have plenty of time despite your ignorant remark about "ripeness".

Answer 9

Being on birth control pills does not make it harder to get pregnant after you get off of them.

26 is not too late to have a baby. (Your risk factors for pregnancy don't significantly go up until 35).

I say enjoy your college years without rushing things. Then have a baby when you feel more stable.

Answer 10

B. Ages 26 and 30 are not too late at all.