alzheimers - question about what to expect.?

Question

Ive known about my dads dementia for many many years.
Ive known about m dads alz almost since the beginning (since his wife (not my mom) had him tested.

Im going to see my dad who has been in a alz wing of a nursing home/assisted care place (near his wifes & his home).

I already know he has virtually no short term memory.
I already have his affairs (in working with his wife) all taken care of.

Also, without dementia/alz he has been for decades 'normally' violent type (verbally mostly)
It does seem to have muted since alz.

Question: What else should I expect?

Plz, only constructive comments, Im already resigned to his being gone mentally and already know what/who on the estate.

My mother (not dads wife) is just beginning on the road of dementia.

Dad age - 89
mom - 84

Wishthere was a better way to add detail (such as reediting whole).

Im actually hopeful that he is docile, has he has been a handful for decades & I presumed alz would make him easier to handle though now I dont have a partner in arguing about politics anywhere.

Dad - rapid gop.
Mom - rapid democrat.
Me - up the middle lean toward gop.

Thanks to all, on the expectations.
IM actually more concerned about paperwork than about him (his care was preplanned heavily).

Answer 1

I have worked with alzheimers patients for many years, and the disease effects everyone differently, although there are always some common symptoms.
It seems to me that dementia patients do a complete 360 personality wise. Sweet little old ladies can become violent and hateful and people who have been violent and angry their whole lives end up as sweet, docile, and very lovable. This is not always the case, but more often than not.
Most alzheimers patients regress back to childhood. They need the same type of care that a 2 year old requires~ being fed, bathed, changed, and 24 hour supervision. If their bodies are still strong, they tend to wander nonstop. They may pace up and down the hall or go into someone else's room and go through drawers or closets or climb into someone elses bed. The best place for a late stage alzheimers patient to live is on a locked unit so they are not at risk of wandering outside and into the road or a lake or freezing in the winter time.
These people have occasional windows of reality. Most of the time, if they speak, it is word salad. They make no sense or talk about things that happened decades ago like it just happened, but once in a while they will say something that makes complete and total sense. For a fleeting moment, they are present in today. They usually don't recognize people or think that you are somebody from their childhood, usually a family member, but most do remember faces. It is soothing for them to see a familiar face, even if they think you are their mom.
The best way to act around them is to remain calm and composed speak softly. Physical touch can be very powerful. Although the person may act like a young child, treat them with respect and dignity.
Good luck visiting your dad. He is the same person that you have known all your life, but he is also completely different. Try to enjoy and love the person that he is today, because you can not bring the dad that you knew before back.

Answer 2

You'll need to discuss your father's condition with the healthcare providers who take care of him daily. They have some of the best insight and are very familiar with the disease process. Be prepared for a different person and attempt to keep yourself together for his sake.

It may seem like he doesn't know you or things of which you speak, but alz sufferers often have fleeting moments of clarity. Those moments are important, so helping them to keep all dignity is crucial. Keep smiling, keep talking, keep everything as simple as possible.

Enjoy the person before you and be happy for the time.

Answer 3

It not the same for each person. To me it seems they turn into completely different people, so that seems to explain him being less violent.

It's good you have hin out of the house and not alone anymore where where people will take advantage of his mental state.

In the end, the brain will stop working. He will just be there physically, no talking, no anything. At the very end, he will spend most of his time in the fetal position.

I hope you have other siblings to help you through this. It's terrible to be just on one person's shoulders. If you're alone GET SUPPORT!!

Answer 4

Seems they are well taken care of both by the professionals and you so I do not think you have to worry too much about this. It is you who needs good care. You should avoid getting too depressed too often. You should find something more in your life that makes you feel uplifting. You should love and feel the love more often than now. You should pamper yourself once in a while without having to feel guilty. You should live your life before it is gone.