Here's what the Yahweh is like in the Old Testament:
"Here, eat anything you want, but don't eat the delicious, awesome apples that grow on this tree. Hey snake go tell them....whisper...whisper.... You ate an apple?! How dare you! Get out of my sight! Oh, and it's all that woman's fault so treat all women like dirt from now on!
I want you to go kill your son and offer is blood to me, do it or else! Haha, just kidding!
Stop building that tower! I'm going to destroy it! Now I'm going to make you unable to communicate with each other! Haha! No more engineering for you!
I'm going flood the world and kill all of you people. Now you, drunk! Go build a big boat and somehow fit every animal in the world on it. Even the fish. And stop asking me how you are going to feed the carnivores! That's not my problem!
Hey Jacob? Wanna wrestle? I love your big muscles.
2006-08-11
02:34:34
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13 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Society & Culture
➔ Religion & Spirituality
Don't have sex with animals, your family or your neighbor's wife or I'll kill you! Also, thou shalt not kill.
If you sell your daughter into slavery and her master doesn't like how she performs in bed you have to buy her back. That's the law.
I love talking donkeys, unicorns, giants and dragons!
If anyone tells you to worship any other god, get all of your friends together. Then go to the town where this person lives and kill everyone - men, women, children, even the pets. Then take all of their stuff, make a big pile in the middle of the street and burn it. Then set the entire town on fire. Burn, baby, burn! If you do this, I’ll make your nation great.
Go kill the Aradites, the Amorites, the Bashanites and anyone else I don’t like. Anyone who is one their side I will give a nasty disease to.
Sampson, you’re my hero. Go kill some more people I don’t like.
2006-08-11
02:34:54 ·
update #1