Would like your opinion?

Question

My husband and I have only had a civil marriage.We have thought about someday getting married by the church.I spoke to the priest yesterday and he says that he would just like to talk to my husband to see if he agrees to this and if he is going to want it.I am Catholic, my husband, who was probably brought up Catholic but not completely Catholic,has doubts about how soon we should do this.We were actually seperated for almost one year, we have been through a lot, but are together because of our love and kids.I would like to get married by the church because I would like to be able to confess, and receive the communion.My husband thinks that we can wait until maybe next year.I thought that we could go to the meetings,which the priest said he would only need about two to talk to us and then we can exchange vows.We had a bigger wedding, like the one where we had a party and dressed up like the bride and groom when we got married by court.I really do not see us needing a big thing again...

because even though it would be pretty, I do not know if we should have something big again or not.Also, like I told my husband, this priest would actually allow us to not need six months of preparation like any other couple, because he understands the situation. It seems like my husband wants to wait until next year, he says that there is no rush.I know he thinks about it but he seems unsecure, I have tried to explain to him that I do not want to do this just because it's convenient to me, but because I would like to feel good inside of myself and be able to do what I can do, as far as going to confession and receiving the communion. I even wanted to try to be a teacher assistant for Sunday school but the priest said that it would be a better example if I were married by the church, just for scandle reasons, you know, if another teacher finds out that I am not married by the church or something like that. This way I can feel good inside of myself and know that I am respectingthechurch

Answer 1

hm?

Answer 2

Are you are asking should you have another ceremony? If that's the case, your husband has already answered, "No". He just hasn't figured a good way to tell you; that's why he is delaying. The marriage is having a rough time, and he doesn't seem to be that happy about religion. He seems to believe in the sanctity of marriage, but not the religious aspect of it being performed in a church or by a minister/pastor. Nor does he seem to fancy the pomp & circumstance of a second wedding ceremony / reception. You have a man who's has stood up and let it be know that he love you and wants to be with you. A second ceremony is not the current fix for whatever issues are going on right now. Wait for him and see what he wants, regarding a 2nd ceremony; don't push the issue. Try to work on whatever is causing the rift between the two of you. Hopefully when that's taken care of he'll be more open to another ceremony.

Good luck!

Answer 3

It sounds like your husband has some reservations about getting married in the Catholic Church. I think you really need to talk to him about this. Does he no longer feel comfortable about being a Catholic? Does he feel that he has been away for so long that he cannot go back? A person can always go back and be forgiven.

It may be possible for you to get your marriage blessed and validated in the Catholic Church even if your husband is not sure about coming back to the Catholic Church. Talk to a priest about this.

I hope that you are still going to Mass even though you are not able to participate in Eucharist. Just remain in the pew and commune with God spiritually in prayer if not sacramentally. I also hope that you are bringing up your children in teh Catholic faith and sending them to religion classes. Your present marriage situation should not keep them from learning about the Catholic faith, if that is the desire of you and your husband.

Contact me if you want to talk more about this.

Answer 4

I don't think you should push your husband. You have told him what you want and he has asked you to wait till next year. He isn't saying no. He is just saying wait. Ask him if he wants to go to 2 meetings with the priest. If he says no I think you should honor that. I didn't know the church stopped allowing you to confess if you didn't marry there. You should still be able to receive communion also.
Love & Light
Sharon
One Planet = One People

Answer 5

My cousin went through the same thing
and all the priest needs to do is bless the marriage
gas prices are high be conservative
a big wedding is an expense

Reflect on The Blessed Sacrament
Why go on any longer without Him
Receive the Blessed Trinity
What if tomorrow does not come for you
Receive Him now

Answer 6

I was married in a Catholic church and divorced, I am now married again, by a lady Reverend. I do not see why would you have to be married in the church to receive communion, or confession. As for teaching who cares. That is what I do not like about the Catholic Church. They make too many of there own rules.

Answer 7

sounds to me like priests are more reasonable today than they were 30+ years ago, but never mind that comment

IF your husband agrees to make you happy and marry you again in the church, it should be a private ceremony, you already have children and you wouldn't want them to develop complexes about you not being married already

alot of households have only one parent that attends church with the children but not many of them are catholic more protestants again just an observation, you should do what you need to do for yourself and not try to please others

Answer 8

Why does he have doubts. You should talk to the priests more, and get him to go to church. The best thing to do is PRAY! He needs to believe what the Church is doing, before you get married there. I would not try to force him, just Pray and get him going to Church. That's the best advice I can give you.

Answer 9

I say wait and do it on a big anniversary like 5 or 10 or 25 years, something like that. I don't understand why you can't confess or receive communion? God is ALWAYS available, and he knows your heart not the priest.

Answer 10

i am so glad i found your question this morning!:) my husband is catholic and i was raised baptist and we just had our children baptist catholic...i am now considering converting to the catholic religion..I am vey religious and love attending our parish catholic church...i just discussed with my husband the other day about getting married in the catholic church to get it blessed(our marriage) and he loves the idea not to mention that we have to get our marriage blessed so i can attend rcia classes to convert...I think your idea is fabulous...but it sounds like your husband has some doubts...and some deeper issues...maybe a weekend together talking and compromising on the situation would help..I know you have has some issues in the past that probably lie deeper than he is letting on..its sounds like maybe he needs to go get some counseling for your marriage....and also respect his decision to wait..because youwouldnt want to drag him into something that he and yourself would later resent...but i wish the best to both of you and love your idea and i understand wanting your marriage to be in the church and getting blessed...GOOD LUCK

Answer 11

Seperated for a year....doubts about things....Catholic wedding?

All of this sounds like a disaster to me. It appears as though YOU are the only one interested in marriage AND being Catholic. Why I dont know.