mother problem?

Question

since i started going out with my boyfriend 10 month ago mine and my mothers relationship has gone down hill.
We argue all the time and she treats my brothers girlfriend more like a daughter than she does me.

I dont spend much time at home because of the arguing it really upsets me that all we do is shout we cant even have a chat with out rowing wot do you think i should do please help!!!

natalie...

Answer 1

talk to her find what her problem is, and avoid shouting at your mother its disrespectful

Answer 2

I Sort Of Know How You Feel
My Mother Is Not Very Sure Of My Relationship With My New Partner,
She Does Not Like To talk About Him,
On The Other Hand Her Grandson(My Nephew) Is Now In A New Relationship And That's Just Fantastic.
I Think It's A Case Of Mums Don't Like The Baby Girls To Grow Up And Not Need Them So Much,
Or There Could Be Something About Your Boyfriend That Your Mum Sees And You Don't,(Saying That I Should Take A look At That Bit Of My Answer Too,)
If Everything Is Good Between You and Your Boyfriend , Just Have An Adult Talk With Your Mum Nice And Polite, She Will Then Realise You Are Growing Up , But If You Fight With Her You Are Giving Her A Point That You My Not Be Ready
.Does That Make Sense?
Good Luck.

Answer 3

This can be really hard. However there is a way to solve your probelm. Believe it or not parents have a way of seeing things you can't see right now, because you probably like this guy a lot. Parents have been through the things you are going through now, so the have experience. Go to you mother without an attitude and with a willing heart. Ask her why your relationship with her has gone down hill? Also ask her what she thinks about your boyfriend. No, you don't have to agree with her feelings, you have free will, however listen, really listen to what she says. Think about it and see if you both can come to an agreement to take in consideration each other's feelings. Hopefully if you sit down and have a heart to heart talk with her she will see that you are really trying to make an effort to open your communication back up with her. Please, take it from me respect your mother, that is the only one you will ever have. When she is gone you will miss her. It is obvious that you love her or you would not be up here asking for advice.

Answer 4

My friend is in the same position. She's stubborn to take my advice...and so is her mother.
You should try to talk to her and tell her how you feel. Be honest and try to tell her politely. Tell her how much you lover her and indeed, you should also know that your mother loves you more than anything.
I probably wouldn't say that you mom treats you brother's girlfriend like a daughter. Perhaps it's because your brother's girlfriend is a guest to the house and nobody should treat guests inappropriately.
Your mom probably wants to be more happy with you as much as you do.

Answer 5

it's a sadening thing to see that someone is ni this situation, but is it over your boyfriend or something deeper?

You really have to analyse what's going on and how to approach dealing with it.

sit down with you mother in the presence of a neutral party and get things laid out on the table. Explain that you don't want to have this anguish in your life, you love her and she loves you... you should try to spend more time with each other on a balanced schedule that allows you to have a life of your own and if that can't be achieved now, perhaps you need to give each other some space for a while and see what happens. Sometimes a break can be the best thing.

Ultimately though, and this is from my own personal experience, both parties need to take a stern look at how they treat each other and act toward the opposite number.

You can't achieve results without sacrificing change and awarding forgiveness on your own part.

believe me I know... I don't speak with either of my parents as it only leads to heart ache for me... so I leave it be as I am happier, I have tried to change, but it seems one only wants to bully and the other wants nothing to do with me... so, right now I am leaving it alone and waiting to see how the meandering course pans out in a while.

You can't ever give up... she is your mother... without her you wouldn't be here :) and she has to see some joy in you and share in that. I know I do it with my children...

the only advice I can give is that you can't give up... but space might be the key here... "you don't know what you've got until its gone", eh! :)

best of luck.

Answer 6

She probably thinks your boyfriend is not good enough for you.

She is probably right.

Step back and ask yourself, if you were the mother, what would you think of your boyfriend? Even if he sucks a little bit, he still sucks, right? Well, others can see this objectively , while the person in the relationship can't. She is more concerned because you are her child.

Answer 7

I have to agree with lisa G you have to take mum out for dinner
somewhere on mutual ground where you can both relax and talk,
If your relationship has lasted 10 months there has got to be something there,are you the younger daughter ? could be that mum thinks as the birds fly the nest, there is nothing left for her
is your mum very maternal towards you and your sister, have you tried to talk to your sister. Hope this helps Terry.

Answer 8

She's only trying to protect you ... her maternal instincts are to look after her children and she sees this boyfriend as a potential danger for you. You didn't put your age, but I suspect that if you're only say 13-15, she's worried something nasty might happen to you.

You should sit down with her and discuss the problem - don't shout at her - and then agree a compromise if you can.

Answer 9

Maybe it's the boyfriend. Us mothers sometimes have a sixth sense. My daughter has admitted that I've been right about every guy she ever dated. I can spot a loser a mile away. Thank goodness she finally got a good one and will be marrying next Saturday.

Answer 10

Does your mother have a right to be concerned? (deep down you will know the answer if she does?)
You do not mention how old you are....
I recommend you sit down and have an 'adult' conversation with her so you both can air your grievences. Please remember to respect her opinion.... she is probably just worried about you and doesn't want to see you hurt.
Sometimes kids forget that their parents have probably gone through exactly the same kind of things they themselves are going through. Your mum probably doesn't want you to make decisions where you could get hurt.
She loves you.. take the time to listen to her and respect her opinions.. I am not saying you have to agree with her just respect her.

Good luck.

Answer 11

Mums and daughters, cant get any closer, but then we are all human, and get misunderstood and hurt, often it grows like a cancer/

What about you and her arranging to have an evening out somewhere nice, say for a meal, and sit and talk, set the ground rules, and stick to them. Talk AND Listen! Takes two to tango!
Do not leave it too long, the damage is not easy to repair.

Remember : TALKING is good.....LISTENING is even better!!!

Good luck!