Who should pay for the ring????

Question

my husband and I became engaged four years ago and were married three years ago. After we were engaged, I wanted an engagement ring, but he didn't want to get me one because he said that he had had some "bad experiences in the past" and he finally gave in but said that he wouldn't spend any more than $50 on a piece of jewelry because he thought that it was dumb and a waste of money. So, I purchased a very cheap ring (worth about $150), which I paid for. I can no longer wear the ring as the band is nickel and whenever I wear it, my finger gets infected. I was hoping that he would surprise me and give me an engagement ring and/or a wedding ring when our daughter was born last November, but I didn't receive anything at all. I really want a wedding ring and an engagement ring, but, I don't see him buying me any seeing as how we've been married for 3 years and I still don't have either. I'm tired of seeing my friends show off their beautiful new engagement rings. What should I do?

Answer 1

This is making me soo mad reading this... because he's basically saying your not worth more then 50 dollars.......
Go to BJ's wholesale- they sell diamond bands from anywhere from $200 to $2,000 dollars. I got my mom's anniverisery band from my dad there. It was 1/2 the price. Try to get him to buy it for you for a holiday.
It's a shame but it's harder to fix the problem now that you are married. My guy tried to pull the same sh*t with me and I told him to get the H*ll out of my house if I wasn't worth the ring. And I wasn't marrying him if I wasn't worth an engagement ring and he pulled trying to get me to pay for half. I told him bye.... And now I have a 1 carat oval with sidestones LOL. And after all that, he now notices, wow you really do love your ring and you wear it everyday and it's that special to you.
Another thing you could do is opening another saving accounts and start sticking extra money in there. Tell him every Christmas and birthday gift- you want money towards the ring. If you work- start putting some of your money in there. And heck! For his Christmas and Birthday gifts- Put money in your account and write him a card You donated $100 to my ring fund. Thank-you!

Answer 2

Use your joint finances to buy one. I'd skip the engagement ring, since it will be really odd for you to show it off after being married for 3 years. Does he have a wedding ring? Does he understand how much it means to you? Why does he think that a symbol of your commitment is dumb?

Anyway, I'd go out and buy a wedding ring if there's no way you can convince him to do it. This way, you can get something you like.

Best of luck!

Answer 3

I agree to a point with both of you. When I got engaged I didn't care if I had a ring or not. I was not materialistic like that. But after a child is born the husband usually buys a ring or piece of jewelry with their birthstone in it. You can tell him you want a ring with your daughters birthstone in it. That way you'll get a ring. otherwise I would probably buy my own ring cause I'm picky. I picked out my own engagement ring. One more thing. If he doesn't want to spend the money but you want something that looks like wedding rings go onto the celebrity look alike website for your jewelry. the one I use is www.evesaddiction.com
Its cubic zirconia but they sparkle like real diamonds.

Answer 4

You need to tell him that he is going to have to get over his past and live in the present which is your marriage! Why would he let things like that effect you two now? I think that's weird. My husband was engaged before but he still bought me a ring. Tell him that it is your dream to have one. There is nothing wrong with wanting something sparkly, and don't let anyone tell your otherwise! Every wife deserves one! Next time he asks you if you want something just say no all the time until he gets the point that a ring is all you want. Find a good, large picture of the ring you want and put it on the frig! I do that with everything that I want. He asks what the picture is just tell him you put it there because you like to look at it and one day hope to get one. When he goes to get a beer he will have to look at it! It always works for me! And when I really really want something I put pictures of it everywhere, cupboards, closets, in his bathroom, etc... He will think its funny but really it might make him think.

Answer 5

If the bad experiences in the past werent bad enough to prevent him from getting married then it shouldnt have been bad enough to keep him from buying you a ring. The ring is traditionally a sign of love and commitment, so he should be more than willing to buy you a ring. I think you deserve it. Maybe you should tell him how you feel about it.

If he insists that it was too much to be willing to get you a ring, go ahead and get it yourself, but not before finding out what this bad situation really was.

In the end the ring is for you, so if you end up having to pay for it, make sure you get one you really, really love.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Aside from calling him an a s s hole for saying a wedding ring is dumb and a waste of money, I don't know, maybe tell him until he gets you a decent wedding ring, he doesn't get any more sex! It doesn't have to be a spectacular one, just something nice you can wear without fear of it reacting to your skin. Tell him a ring may not be the most important part of marriage, but then neither is sex! Personally, I think he needs to grow some cahones, be a man, and buy what he should have given you on your wedding day!

Answer 7

Ok, so not having a great ring to show off isn't very fun. But how does he treat you otherwise? Isn't the relationship a bit more important than a ring to show off?

Does he keep things fixed around the house? Whether he does it himself or makes sure to call someone in to repair?? Do you have decent clothes? Does the baby have good clothes, go to doctor appointments regularly? Is there food in the fridge, gas in the car?

Maybe he feels there are better things to spend money on. And yes, maybe he is letting a "past experience" keep him from buying you jewelry.

Concentrate on the good things that you do have. Not all people can.

Answer 8

It's a little late to expect change now, isn't it? After all, he got you down the aisle, then pregnant, and now a mommy, all without spending a dime on jewelry. You knew going into this marriage that he felt it was a waste of money to buy the rings, so there's really no way you should honestly expect him to do a 360 now and just scamper out and get you one. If you want one, get it yourself. And if the ring is more important to you then your relationship, well then perhaps you married the wrong guy.....

Answer 9

You're FIRST mistake was accepting marriage without an engagement ring. My husband insisted I come with him to look for rings a month after we started dating. He proposed three months later. We've been together 3 years now and married almost 1 year. Your husband is never going to buy you a ring. Either accept it or buy yourself a beautiful expensive one.

Answer 10

Traditionally, she buys his ring and he buys her rings.

In my case, I had just received my settlement from a car accident and I knew my (now) husband would use the excuse, "I don't know what size you wear or what kind of ring you would want." I went to a local pawn shop and found a half-carat, princess cut in 14K yellow gold with a 14K band that had another half-carat worth of diamonds for $800 (it appraised for $4,500). After we were married (civil ceremony), we drove to the mall and he picked out a titanium band. I would have bought his as well, but he never showed any desire to wear ANY jewelry. I was extremely surprised (and secretly very happy) that he would want to wear a wedding ring at all.

My point is, if you find something you like and you have the extra money, buy what you want. You can't always wait around for them to buy you something. Just tell him, "Look what you bought me, honey! Thank you so much! You picked just the one I wanted!"

Men are such strange creatures sometimes.

Good luck!