how can I get fired from a job in the shortest time possible?

Answer 1

Punch the boss as soon as you meet him and steal some cash or valuable equipment straight afterwords.

Answer 2

1. Being late everyday.

2. Goofing off on the job.

3. Talking loudly and excessively at the wrong time.

4. Starring at your boss for a real long time and not having a good
reason for it.

5. Call in sick everyday.

6. Leaving work early for reasons that are not good.

7. Bringing your friends to work with you.

8. And last but not least,asking for a raise.

Answer 3

instead of giving someone the satisfaction of firing you go into work and turn in a two week notice and formally tell your boss why you are quitting...maybe they will see things your way and fix whatever problem you might have with them and you will keep your job. Even if you end up no longer employed you will have left on good terms and they won't be able to blackball you when you apply for a job elsewhere in the future.

Answer 4

Don't do it. You may live to regret it for the rest of your life. Remember that what goes around comes around and there may be a day when you are aiming for your dream job that you really worked hard for and guess what? the person doing the selection is the person who fired you then.

Answer 5

1. Use slang or vulgar language at your boss.
2. Be bossy to your coworkers.
3. Splat coffee on your coworker's clean pants.
4. Don't submit your reports to your boss.
5. Draw random sketches during meetings.
6. Slide ugly caricatures of your ugly boss in his drawer and snicker when he asks who did it.
7. Stuff toilet paper in the toilet bowl.
8. Tell your co-workers that there will be no work on the next day and piss them off when the boss scolds them the day after.


That's all! Enjoy!

Answer 6

see how many of these tasks you can complete in one week.
Might take a little longer but you'll have a laugh trying..
Office dares

1) Run one lap around the office at top speed.
2) Groan out loud in the bathroom cubicle (at least one other 'non player'
must
be in the bathroom at the time).
3) Ignore the first five people who say "Good Morning" to you.
4) Phone someone in the office you barely know and, leave your name and say "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."
5) To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears
and grimace.
6) When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily
"Mmmmmm that feels sooooooooo good!"
7) Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out say,
"Sorry,I really prefer it this way"
8) Walk sideways to the photocopier.
9) When riding in a lift, gasp dramatically everytime the door opens.

Intermediate dares

1) Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with
double-barrelled fingers.
2) Babble incoherently at a fellow employee and ask "Did you get all that?
I don't want to have to repeat it".
3) Page yourself on the intercom (do not disguise your voice).
4) Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle
(There must be a non-player in sight)
5) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.


Advanced nutcase dares guaranteed sacking on grounds of insanity....
1) At the end of a meeting suggest that, for once, it would be nice to
conclude with the singing of the national anthem. (extra two points if you actually
launch into it yourself)
2) Walk in to a very busy persons office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3)For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob"
4) Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go and do a number two".
5) After every sentence say "Mon" in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in
"The reports on your desk Mon". Keep this up for one hour.
6) While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.
7) In a meeting or crowed situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter,
"Shut up damn it - all of you just shut up"
8) At lunchtime, go down on your knees and announce "As God is my witness,
I'll never go hungry again"
9) In a male colleagues diary, write 10am "See how I look in tights".
10) Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and as "Do you wanna trade?"
11)Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now
12)Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why say "I can't talk about it"

Answer 7

Hit your boss! I swear I have a friend who recently did this, and he was so fired! He also had to go to court over it, but he just paid a fine and walked. Of course it helps if you have good reason to do so, and you don't plan to come back.

Answer 8

Pee in your boss's face, laugh really loudly on your cell phone right after, then go and pinch the cute secretary's butt, tell her she's a woman and should be in the kitchen, and smear feces all over the walls. That should do the trick.

Answer 9

Hit your boss. That will usually do it for you. Of course, it might earn you jail time or a lawsuit too, but it'll get you fired!

Answer 10

Have u seen "Office space" the movie?
It's an excellent one. Just don't show up for work in a very long time....they'll prolly promote u:D