15 year old daughter has left home to live with 22y/old against my wishes what should i do?

Question

the police and social services say they cannot help even though its against the law. should i leave her to find out life may not be so great wiyh him ...no money etc or take legal steps to get her back? if i do this how do i keep her at home she defies me if i say she cannot go out etc.

Answer 1

Please please don't keep telling her it won't work out, that she doesn't know what she's doing, she's not responsible enough etc. I moved out when was 15. I got on well generally with both parents and can't explain why i was desperate to leave. My parents are divorced but both of them kept telling me all of the above, and more, and believe me it made me TOTALLY DETERMINED to go it alone and prove them wrong. Even at my lowest I would not go back just because they would have been right. Stupid, I know that now I'm 23, but thats hindsight for you. I still live on my own and have done since I left home, I have a three year old son, nice home and am doing A-levels, but the first few years made me grow up way too fast. Your daughter is best with you, as you well know. Here are a few things that got my back up and/or helped me. Don't slag her boyfriend off, she will defend him, he is akin to God to her right now. Don't give her cash, feed her at your house if it gets that bad. ( she may not come without the boyfriend, just grit your teeth, feed them). Don't nag her, the worst thing you can do is push her away, she WILL need you sometime in the near future, if she doesn't feel she can come to you, where will she turn? Be her friend. Don't threaten her with anything, this will make her hate you.
I know iv'e waffled but I really really feel for you. Me and my mum have the best relationship now but i am ashamed of what I put her through. If you are there for her and don't push her away, one day i promise your relationship will be stronger than ever and when she says she is sorry for hurting you, she will mean it.

Answer 2

FIRSTLY, MAKE SURE SHE HAS THE PILL INJECTION!!! Well, when I was 15, the more my mom tried to push and force me, the more I pulled away, You feel like you really know your mind at 15, (even though mostly you dont) and she is not going to like it if you force her into coming home. Do you trust your daughter to be quite sensible? Is she able to look after herself to a degree? Is she in danger from the 22 year old? you need to ask yourself these things and decide from there. You can be too kind and lend her money etc left right and centre and she will never learn real life or her mistakes, but you can also be too hard which will drive your daughter away even further. I understand that he is 22, so the police should have been able to do something, as should social services as people under 18 arent allowed to leave home without parents permission, people under 16, arent allowed to leave with or without the permission. I would not ake this move too seriously as 15 year olds are very fickle and if you tread carefully, and treat her kind but not too kind, as use your wits, she will be home soon. Good Luck xxxxxx

Answer 3

had the same situation with my 15 yr old cousin. Her parents even sent her to live w grandma 8 hours away . Guess what? She ran away with him. Got pregnant but the guy turned out to be very nice and are still happily married.

Why did she run away? Do you know what kind of a person he is?
Is it just because she is young and you just dont like him for no reason or you have doubts about him?

If her life is in danger (drugs etc) is time for ACTION!

Otherwise whatever the above said about letting her figure out life is not so romantic. Let her know she can come back!

Also, I would learn everything I could about the guy. Ask people, find out where he lives, his parents etc ask friends or coworkers.
Does he work?
I think he is the key if you should take action or not.

Answer 4

Make a formal complaint to both the Police and Social Services. Your daughter is a minor and you are her legal guardian. Try and find a good family case solicitor.

What has a 22 year old got in common with a 15 year old? Not much I'd bet.

Don't give up.

Answer 5

i may have this to come in the future so i think the best way i would deal with it is this. TRY and accept this give them support but tell your daughter to use precautions so she doesn't get preggers they will you know. I know it's against the law and the man could go to prison but you can't stop it so the best way is to try and deal with it. The reason why i don't think social services/police is getting involved is because she is so close to being 16 i know it's wrong. I am just dreading it when and if my time comes. Also tell your daughter's boyfriend that you hope he will look after your daughter properly then give him your respect. All you can do is sit back and be there when/if it all goes wrong. You never know this might actually work he might really love her.

Answer 6

Well the problem with this is as follows
1. If you leave her be she will end up pregnant.
2. She will blame you.
3. Her whole life will be ruined

You have to look at it as she is a kid and even though she is being fat headed about this you need to be the parent and stop this before she ruins her life. In my city, we have a place for girls who run away and so on and they will keep them there until they get better. She is acting out for a reason and maybe she needs serious help. Or, when i was 15 and ran away, my mom put me in the mental health unit in the hospital. Let me tell you, I did not leave again!!

Answer 7

Police or at least the Social Services should be able to do something about this problem. What about the guy she has gone with, it is an offence to have sex with a minor under sixteen. You should really find out more about the options you have. Someone has not informed you correctly. Keep on trying your daughter is worth all your efforts to get her on the right track again before matters get more complicated.

Answer 8

I am shocked that the police can do nothing. What is the age of consent where you live? Call the county prosecutor's office and ask if any legal action is possible. If you have no legal ground, you can do nothing except be ready for her return. Be careful not to fight with her or make this the only thing you speak of when you hear from her. If you loose communication with her, she will be less likely to come to you when she realizes the mistake. Encourage her to remain in school. Make a decision now about the possibility of her return with the 22 year old and do not change that decision.

Answer 9

Taking legal action is gonna cost time and money, and once it all goes through she'll prob be 16, therefore all that time and money will have been wasted as she will be able to make her own choices by law. I would advise taking a step back but always be there for her, one day she'll come crawling back with her tail between her legs.... cutting all ties will undoubtedly make your situation worse because if anything did go wrong for her, then she will feel that she has no one. Try and treat her like the adult she's TRYING to be ie: don't borrow her money make sure she finds her own... have her and her partner round for tea once a week, then you look like the good guy but you also know she's had at least one good meal in her for that week.
I hope I have helped Good Luck :-)

Answer 10

Your daughter is only 15 that is under the age of consent I am assuming that the 22year old is Male and that they are cohabiting together it is illegal, the police and the social services should take action to protect your daughter, Social services can take the legal steps through the courts to make your daughter a ward of court