One of my best friends who is going to be a bride's maid in my upcoming wedding got drunk the other night and told me that she thought me fiancee was really hot and that she would "do him" if we weren't getting married. I'm really upset by this. Do I have the right to be so angry at her? --She also told one of our other friends that I looked like I have fetal alcohol syndrome. What should I do?
2006-08-10 19:36:16 · 11 answers · asked by Annabanana 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It sounds like she may be jealous that you are getting married by acting out in an immature manner (i.e. the fetal alcohol comment). Plus, she said it when she was drunk.
Also, she was probably just joking when she said she would "do your husband" and you should take it as a compliment. No need to worry unless she actually makes a move on him! :)
Overall, I would let it all roll off of me but keep a watchful eye on her.
2006-08-10 19:44:18 · answer #1 · answered by keepingitreal 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a *****. The saying your fiancee is hot thing could be chalked up to being drunk and frisky. But saying you look like fetal alcohol sydrome is vicious.
It's not uncommon for friendships to get a little nasty around weddings- girls get jealous of the brides and their happiness at finding a great guy and being the princess.
I would tell her that comments like those she's made aren't really ones a supportive loving friend would make and ask her if she feels she should be a part of your wedding. If it happens again, especially without the alcohol, boot her out. You don't need a loose cannon like her on your big day. Congratulations!
2006-08-10 20:05:32 · answer #2 · answered by Megan D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those types of statements will only bother you if you allow them to. It really doesn't sound like a big deal to me. I would feel flattered that other women find my man attractive. If she is your bride's maid then you should be close to her. Shouldn't there be a level of honesty that goes along with the friendship? Similar to the relationship of sisters. (That was my first thought.) But, then I read that she told a friend that you looked like you have fetal alcohol syndrome.... Honey, she is jealous of you and probably has feelings for your guy. I feel sorry for her if she's going through all of those crazy emotions. I also feel that she should remove herself from the wedding party because of her feelings. If she doesn't volunteer I'd have to tell her she's been replaced and give her back any money that she has spent so far. Congratulations, good luck and God bless.
2006-08-10 19:46:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It can be so hard to figure this one out because there was alcohol involved. Some people will just get mean and make up rude things to say just to "push buttons" and some people will lose their inhibitions and say what they really think. It's hard to know exactly what her motive was and, unfortunately, you'll probably never find out.
However, if you now feel uncomfortable around her because of those comments, you should uninvite her from being in the bridal party and possibly the entire wedding. If there's going to be alcohol at your wedding, she could just as easily get drunk there and make a scene in front of your other friends and family which could ruin the day.
Hope that helps. Best of luck and congrats on your engagement.
2006-08-11 06:01:58 · answer #4 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a little shocked that a friend would say that stuff. She said if you guys weren't getting married, does that mean that if you were just bf and gf, that she would make a move on him? That's tacky. As long as you trust your man, then don't worry about it. The comment about how you look, was just down right rude. A real friend wouldn't be saying that stuff about you. I would never tell anyone, let alone a good friend, that I wanted to do their bf or husband. I think you should sit her down and just let her know that she said some hurtful stuff. She may blame it on the alcohol, but I think sometimes your true feelings come out when you're drinking. Good luck and keep an eye on that girl!!
2006-08-11 02:31:05 · answer #5 · answered by SweetPea 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She isn't much of a friend is she? Why don't you ask her to if really wanted to be in a wedding where the bride looks like she has fetal alcohol syndrome? That is a very mean and nasty thing to say.
Please talk to her beforehand even though it is hard. Don't wait and let it ruin your wedding.
Best wishes on your wedding.
2006-08-11 05:28:32 · answer #6 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
consider the situation...she was drunk and she said that your getting married stops her from acting so she does respect your future...as for the fetal alcohol syndrome...sounds like she does not know what she is talking about and two comments like that does not erase the reason she is one of your best friends
2006-08-11 03:58:51 · answer #7 · answered by Library Eyes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was totally uncalled for her on her part, although she was drunk. If you can really trust her I wouldn't let it get to you. I would confront her about it when she is sober and ask her if she remembers saying that to you. Ask her why she said it and so forth, otherwise you should be fine. don't be insecure about your relationship with your fiance, if you two have what it takes, nothing should tear you apart!
2006-08-11 05:15:26 · answer #8 · answered by marlaynavaymcl03 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont get mad at her....for one thing she was drunk....and another thing, thats a compliment!! i mean, he's yours right? and as long as he's not attracted to her...you've got nothing to worry about. i mean, people just say stuff..she was probably joking around you know like....oh i'd do him. haha well at least me and my friends joke around about that. i wouldnt worry about it. you have too much other stuff to worry about..dont worry about it.
2006-08-10 20:00:53 · answer #9 · answered by pirate_holla 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first shes talking s**t behind your back and now she says she wants you man. I agree FIRE HER and tell her straight out why.
2006-08-11 13:27:27 · answer #10 · answered by Happy Mommy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋