little lohnny was in school one day and the teacher said all of u have to come up with a sentence that has fascinate in it so a little girl sad i saw a plane the other day and it was fascinating the teacher said no no i said fascinate. so a little boy said i was watching tv and saw a car that was fascinating the teacher said no no i said fascinate so little johnny said my aunt has a shirt that has ten buttons on it but her ti*s are so big she could only fascineight
2006-08-10 19:21:00 · 7 answers · asked by justin o 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Little johnny was on his way to c his nxt door neighbour because they just had a new born baby and little johnny wanted to go and visit it! His mum knows what Johnny is like so she tells him to be on his best behaviour! Unfortunately the baby was born without any ears so the mum told Johnny not to make fun or make any stupid remarks otherwise he will be in deep trouble! Once they got round to their neighbours house, there lay the baby fast asleep in its mums arms. "ahh wot a lovely baby! Is everything ok with him?" said Johnny "o yes he is perfect! Sence of smell is spot on,Breathing is perfect and he has 20/20 vision!" replied the mum. "o good!" said Johnny, "because if he didnt then he wouldnt b able 2 wear glasses!"
2006-08-14 15:22:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Naughty Johnny
2006-08-11 02:25:09 · answer #2 · answered by Pd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh that little Johnny! cute.
2006-08-11 02:35:34 · answer #3 · answered by NANCY K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself 'She'll never go for me carrying on like that,' so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he farted. He 'putted' down one hill and 'putt-putted' up the next. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.
His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, 'Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!' She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but *ripe* as a rotten egg.
He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and 'rrriiiipppp!' It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning them each time with his napkin.
When he heard the 'phone farewells' (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled, 'Surprise!'
To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.
2006-08-11 02:47:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
little johnny always has an answer!!!
2006-08-11 02:38:54 · answer #5 · answered by Just wondering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. Yep. LOL.
2006-08-11 17:22:45 · answer #6 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ahaha 10+.. thanks for the laughs...omy :)
2006-08-11 02:43:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋