I need someones help please?

Question

Im engaged I've been with my fiance for over 2 years now. he's the only guy I've ever been with. He's an alcoholic and has bipolar( atleast his emotions are really weird anyway) Recently at work there is this other guy. he's really nice to me and were fairly good friends. I'm starting to get a crush on him. i always like it when he works with me. I have no idea if he has any feelings for me at all but he acts like he does sometimes. Its driving me crazy. I can't stop thinking about him. there's so many reasons why i shouldn't be with my fiance anymore. hes hurt me many times. and i really like this guy at work. what should i do i'm so confused i do love my fiance but he's all i know. som eone help im really confused right now plz!!!???

i should of mentioned that my fiance is a reformed alcoholic he attends aa and he has never hit me before when he was drunk

Answer 1

u need to dump ur man and get some strange

Answer 2

u need a change in ur life. but my best advice to u is to NEVER leave a relationship and get into another one automatically. believe me, i know what i'm talking about! i had an abusive, drunk violent lying father and countless boyfriends who reminded me so much of him! my son's father is bipolar and a druggie. i had to break my own cycle, in my own way, and it took a long time. the best thing FOR YOU is to be alone, find out who u are, deal w/ ur heartache, etc. and think about ur coworker- if ur pycho fiance found out about him, what would he do to him?! the thing about druggies, or bipolars, or just plain out violent people is that theyre extremely demanding and controlling- he's not gonna let u go easily. tell some of ur closest relatives and friends that u are going to end it so they can keep in touch w/ u and look out for u. ur probably saying u don't need to let anyone know- bcus u don't think he will go that far. but substance abuse is really harmful- to anyone and everyone that person comes in contact with. cops have been called so many times, and i've had 3 restraining orders against my ex, and it still didn't stop him from chasing me! he is still, to this day, calling me and harassing me. u need a support system right now. get it while u can. and about the whole " fiance" thing- i got 2 rings from my ex, and we never even discussed a future or a wedding, it's a trap, to try to keep u close. don't fall for it. i was alone for a yr and a half. now i am happily engaged, planning a wedding, and my son finally has a father figure- just take ur time. karma's a ***** and he will get his. but u don't worry bcus great things happen to wonderful people! hope this helped! ::christen::

Answer 3

I would tell your fiance that you want to take a break for a little while. Tell him that it is not him but something you need to do. Tell your co-worker about your split. See if he offers you condolence. If so, he has the hots for you. If it doesn't work with the co-worker and you realize your fiance is a better choice, you can always go back since it is just a break the two of you will be having.

PS. lots of couples fall out of love after the two year mark. It is completely natural. There are pleanty of men out there. Don't settle for anything less than what you deserve.

Answer 4

i did the same exact thing as you...i have been with my now hubby since i was 13 years old and he was15 he is the only person i have ever been with as well (he did a lot of drugs continuosly and he is a very cold person emotionally)...we lived together when i was 19 and i got a job at my sisters convenience store and this really nice guy came in all the time and talked to me..i told him i was engaged but he didn't care and kept pursuing me anyways....i started to like him and my fiance started to catch on that i wasnt coming home on time and was making lots of excuses...i was only talking to the guy we never went anywhere together and we were never alone together and it was always at the store where i worked...well one night i didnt come home on time and my fiance decided to make the 30 minute trip to see what i was up to and i was caught red handed standing in the parking lot talking to this guy...i will never forget the look of pain and heartbreak on my fiances face...long story short i am now 25 and my hubby now is 27 and we have a 4 year old son and i am 5 and a half months pregnant...we talked about the reasons for what i was doing and the lack of emotion he was showing me and why i was looking somewhere else for it....he has been the best person ever since then and it has been 6 years since all this happened....i would say talk to your fiance and tell him what you want and what he is not giving you that you need, some guys just arent good with emotions and like my hubby told me he took me for granted because he was the only person i had ever been with so he never expected me to look somewhere else.....TALK TO YOUR FIANCE AND IF THINGS DONT CHANGE MAKE YOUR DECISION THEN....dont do what i did, like i said i will never forget the tears and pain that i caused my hubby....

Answer 5

If your not sure if your fiance is right for you don't get married. From experience it only ends in heartache and sometimes children are involved as well. When you want to be with that special someone you'll know because you will not get crushes on others you may think they're cute but then you smile and think of that special someone. Take your time life is to short not to. Good luck.

Answer 6

You may not like what I have to say: You must first break the engagement with your current fiance. Take time to be alone....this will be hard to do.... you cannot go on rebound it never works. I have been through it several times as a man. It might be different for women. I don't know. The other person at work just wants to get into your pants. I am a man ...I know.
If you need to discuss this at lenght just email me. [e-mail]

Answer 7

You need time out to seriously re-assess your relationship with your fiance. Put the thoughts about the other man out of your mind for the time being so your decision is not tainted by your feelings for him. Since you are here asking this type of question, this tells me that you are NOT ready for marriage. Furthermore, you need to ask yourself if this is the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Only you can answer this as you're the one who knows him best. If you decide to pursue a relationship with the other man, well...you obviously need to let your fiance go but don't tell him it's about another man because he may get devastated by this and thus do something destructive to himself (given his history of alcoholism). At any rate, it's a tough situation but ultimately you are the only one who can answer your own questions. I wish you luck.

Answer 8

I think your mind is already made up, your fiance, is bad, for many reasons, and I feel you really don't love him anymore.
As you have so little experience, I think it's time to break up with him, and explore the real world, with a really nice and good man for a change.
Life is too short, hon, to waste your life with someone, who won't return your love.
Looks like you have a chance with your co-worker, and it's worth a try. It may not work out, for you two, but you might regret not trying it anyway.
If it doesn't work with your co-worker, and it just might, you will be free to explore the world of dating and get some new experiences.
I say go for it, it's your life, and you are entitled to live it your way.

Answer 9

I prayed for you, i hope that helps! :)

You are in a tough spot. Do you intend on marrying your fiancé? Is he doing everything that he can do to seek help for his alcoholic and emotional problems? You may want to talk this over with him and see if he'd like some space for a while or you may just want to break out of this right now if he is really abusive. Some people change, but some people suffer from these problems their whole lives.

You may have to give him up before it is too late.

Answer 10

Its hard to know if the grass is greener on the other side of the hill. Unfortunatly you can only take the words of others until you take the hyke up over it yourself.

If your current partner treats you badly then that itself should be more then enough reason to move onto someone that will treat your right.

I'd get rid of the current partner and take some time for yourself to reasses yourself and find out what it is you want. Do not jump into another relationship to fast for jumping in haste usually leads to sore feet.

My thoughts.

Answer 11

First, dump your current fiance - he's bad news. Then take some time off to be alone and gather your thoughts. When you are ready for romance again try to avoid getting attached to damaged goods.