We haven't known each other very well- just greetings in passing. She worked at the school where our kids attend. She was only about 40 and collapsed in her apartment. She was pronounced dead at the scene. Totally unexpected. Should we wait a few days to give our condolences; and what do we say? I've never known anyone who has died.
2006-08-10 17:32:41 · 21 answers · asked by Sandy 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Just send a card, say you're sorry for his loss. You can say to let you know if they need anything, but they probably won't. Just try looking around, see what's getting ignored while the family is busy grieving and making arrangements. Is their lawn getting shaggy? Car starting to not look so nice? Fence been getting sad-looking in between your yards? Ask if you could take care of it for them.
If they have friends, family, a church or religious group, they probably have enough food to last till doomsday, and they're probably getting a lot of salads, pasta salad dishes, and store-bought roast chickens from people. Give it a couple days, then make two of something for dinner, and take the rest over, or something like that. Use a throwaway foil dish so they aren't burdened with remembering what gets returned to who.
Check your newspaper's obituaries. The family may be asking for donations to a charitable group instead of flowers. If you're in such a position to do that, then your money becomes not only a sweet gesture to the family, but instead of sitting on the table wilting, it goes on to benefit others in honor of the deceased.
2006-08-10 19:11:36 · answer #1 · answered by Gen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A nice gesture is to take them a card and some food. People who have a death are often involved in planning for funerals and accommodating people who are coming by to extend condolences. It help for neighbors and friends to provide food during this time. Take a casserole, cake or plate of cookies they can eat and share with visitors. This is a good way to show support.
2006-08-10 17:44:40 · answer #2 · answered by ValleyViolet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go over with a card and some type of food like a cake or salad or brownies or cookies and just say that you did not know her very well but she was nice to greet you in passing and maybe add you will miss seeing her smile, etc. and that you are sorry for the loss and will pray for the family
2006-08-11 03:33:14 · answer #3 · answered by Library Eyes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring some flowers over, and maybe a casserole if you know them well enough. Immediately is helpful. He's going to need condolences in a few months, if you feel up to it.
I felt loneliest about my mother's death about a month after she died.
2006-08-10 18:14:35 · answer #4 · answered by bardoi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say you are sorry for their loss and if there is anything you can do to help, do not hesitate to ask (only if you mean it though).
Or drop a card in the mail.
I know people who have died and believe me, the acknowledgement you get can sometimes just brighten up your whole day. Especially from people who you least expect it.
2006-08-10 17:39:33 · answer #5 · answered by Windseeker_1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send a card. Make him a casserole and just drop it off. He won't be in the mood to cook for a while and maybe he has mouths to feed. He can just heat up a section of it when ever he is in the mood. If you know for a fact he is religious say that the woman will be in your prayers.
2006-08-10 17:54:57 · answer #6 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you try not to do or say anything that you normally wouldn't.
People who have recently lost someone generally get loads of sympathy and extra attention from their family and friends. What they often want is no attention, just time to think for themselves and things back to normal as quickly as possible.
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Well reading what other people have said, I seem to have said the opposite, I guess different people want different things. Pretty tough situation. Good luck, whatever you do.
2006-08-10 17:39:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just show them you hurt for their loss. send flowers to the funeral home, give a donation in a card and go to the viewing. express your sincere feelings with a handshake or hug, say I am so sorry for your loss. since your a neighbor, offer your services if they need anything.
2006-08-10 17:40:43 · answer #8 · answered by Lake Man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on where the man is from and if he has a faith. Many people wear black (some bring flowers and some don't), but do not wait too long. I would say God bless her soul. But if you don't know much about her you might be stuck with the man with nothing to say....get info about her students etc... and visit him as soon as possible.
hope it works out!
~good luck and God bless her soul!
2006-08-10 17:46:04 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say I am sorry and I really would like to send my condolences to you
2006-08-10 17:37:12 · answer #10 · answered by hellomoto222 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋