I want a baby but my hubby doesnt, i can cope any more?

Question

My hubby and i have been married now for over a year and i want to move on to the next step, Children! but he keeps putting it off telling me yes to the end of the yr then changing his mind later on and he say its so i stop asking him when we can have a baby. I want it more than anything and i dont want to wait 4more yrs like he does and i dont know what to do anymore.

Answer 1

Why not try a compromise... Tell him that ya'll will try for 6 months and if you don't get pregnant within that six months then you will drop it for a year.
And then after the year has passed.. suggest that ya'll try again for another 6 months..
It's worth a try.. instead of all the broken promises..
Good Luck!!

Answer 2

You both are too young to have a commitment with a baby. He is right about thinking . Look if you're very like 17 or 18 I would be putting off too. You need more time for yourself. I would get a hobby even understand more about yourself.
Once you start having a baby is you and the baby for the rest of both of your time together. Father's no matter what the situation is will be in the background. Not all father's are father's.
When you start you throw a lot time together a baby is 24 / 7 per week, crying, hungry, mommy where are you, are you going to be there to cuddle up at night for your son or daughter or
read a book together 24 / 7 per week when mommy is sick or not. Between all that daddy is wanting you too. There is so much stress in it too.
I have a very happy 25 yrs. son we have been through difficult times. I'm an American / Dutch and married 32 yrs. living in The Netherlands and no matter where you live in the world you are the mother very important part of life...

Answer 3

I would enjoy being married with no children for adleast 2 more years. See if you are really compatable before you bring children into the world and end up another divorce statistic. The Kids ALWAYS loose in this situation. SO hang in there and WAIT. Babies just make marriages more difficult because you have less time as a couple.

Answer 4

I don't think pushing him is going to help you. Neither is moping around to get your message across. Until you have a child and even afterward, you need to do what you can to protect your marriage and maintain openness toward each other. I know for you now it's really hard, because of how badly you want to have children. But if you want to stay with him, the only thing there is to do is to be patient. Try to trust him that he will eventually be ready, and don't hesitate to check in about it in a non threatening way, from time to time. If you can, help him feel that it is because of your love for him that you want to start having kids together and encourage him in every way you can that you feel he is responsible and a good provider and a good partner.

He may not want to have kids because he didn't enjoy his own childhood all that much. There may be things you need to work through with a marriage counselor as well. Just don't make it seem that you feel he needs to be fixed because he won't do what you want. It's about preserving your marriage and sharing your goals and dreams.

Answer 5

If you've only been married a short amount of time like a year or two, don't do it. You should agree with him to hold off until he's comfortable.

Why do you want a baby so bad to begin with? It's probably due to insecurities that you have, which should be addressed before taking that step. Making babies only complicates the marriage, so you should deal with your issues first.

Answer 6

Do what I do with my boyfriend..I keep telling him that when we get married I want kids, and he doesnt...so I keep telling him thats fine, he just wont get any sex unless he gets snipped. I know he would never go for this so I know I'll most likely eventually get at least one baby..another option is to just not think about having a baby, just live your life, have sex, maybe youll get lucky. Just remember: If you consume your mind too much with sex and having a baby it can actually reduce your chances of getting pregnant.

Also, try explaining to him how much it means to you to have a baby. Tell him that you understand that he's not ready but remind him that the baby wouldnt come for almost a year after the initial pregnancy announcement. If all else fails, at least try to get him to come down to the point of "When it happens, it happens" Have a normal, healthy sex life and when/if you get pregnant you get pregnant. It'll happen when its meant to

Answer 7

this is very important, don't go against him you might end up alone!! You have to respect the decision you both agreed on.how would you feel if tables were turn ??? you wouldn't like it. I'm getting married in Sept and we have decided to wait a few years. so that we can enjoy each other. I know how you feel. I want kids real bad but I also want and need my best friend.... my HUSBAND. hold on it will wok out for the best even if you don't see it now you'll see it !! have faith.

Answer 8

Look you need to find someone who wants children. I was married to amn who basically harassed me to have a tubiligation. This was after having three children when I wanted more. I had to lie to him and say I was susing the foam to have my third child. Dont be trapped in a marriage where you want children and he does not. Get otu before it is to late and find Mr. Right who also wants children. Dont waste anymore time on him becasue in four years he may still decide he does nto want to have children and that will be four years of your life you have wasted with this person when you could have had kids.

Answer 9

Did he have a bad childhood? is he scared of being a bad parent? maybe he is aware of how expensive and how much of a responsibility it is to have children. you can get pregnant and he may leave you or he may stay with you. he may cheat on you by finding women who does not have kids. or he could date women with kids because they are `not his responsibility. Or maybe he just like his freedom and is not ready to give it up. I'm a woman and i am not rushing to have children. i'm waiting until i get my masters and be financially stable. but the REAL reason, is about enjoying my sweet old FREEDOM. ask your husband what is the real reason why he does not want kids. IF he can not answer you , then you need to bring him to a marriage counselor or a psychologist. or have one of them ask him to join you at the sessions. good luck. Remember, getting pregnant does not always KEEP a man or make them responsible fathers either.

Answer 10

One thing our local priest does before you get married is a 'compatibility test'. Questions included in this test is, at what ages would you like to have children? Even without doing a test, (I'm assuming many people haven't) I would still think couples would discuss this. Did you discuss this before you married?

For you, he's only telling you what you want to hear because you're on his back. Sorry, but without him, you ain't going to have children....unless...but don't go there. You really need to sit your husband down, and have an adult discussion (no arguing ets...just tell him your thoughts, and listen to his).

Answer 11

Sounds like quit a pickle,All you can do is keep talking to him about it and hopefully he will change his mind.You dont want to trick him into getting you pregnant,so not much else you can do cept keep pressing the issue and try turning on the water works and see if that brings him around,but never ever intentionaly get yourself pregnant without him agreeing to it,because that can open up a whole new can of worms.Best of luck to you sweetie.