Boyfriend Vs. Parents..?

Question

I'm 18. I go to college and Work full time. My mom works full time as well. The apartment lease is under my name and my sister's, so I'm not living "at home", basically we all live together and just chip in with rent and stuff . Since this is the case between her and me, we split the rent and utilities 50/50.
I have a boyfriend, yet my mom doesn't know about it and I need to tell her without having her freak out like last time. How would you do it? The last time I tried to tell her, she ended up yelling at me for two days straight because I made a new guy friend...
I know that a lot of you will say that I need to listen to her, but I'm a very responsible and mature person. Work full time, support my family, and make good grades in college.

By saying "New guy" I meant a friend who's not my BF.

Oh, and I'm not the first-born. I'm actually the youngest, supporting my older sister and my niece with my mom.

Answer 1

It is right that you do need to listen to your mother. However, it does not mean that you have to do what she says. You have the right to be with someone. Your mother needs to understand that you are 18 and are not a little girl anymore. I would tell my mother that she has to respect my decision and to try to accept my boyfriend. Yes you are young and you have the right to have fun, but just becareful how.

Answer 2

Did you say you mother is living with you and she is not on the lease? Well now is the time for her to find her own place and have a lease of her own. Here if someone was not on the lease and was living in the place more than two weeks out of the year the manager would throw everyone out. If you're old enough to have your name on a lease you're old enough to have a bf.

Is there a problem with the bf that your mom doesn't like and your mom is afraid you're choosing a type of person who is not responsible, or might cause you problems in the future? Ask your mom what she's yelling about. She must have a good reason for doing that.

Answer 3

Well, I'm 16, I can't help you much but give you my full advice. I guess.. family comes first and supporting the family. You're doing an awesome job supporting your family the way it is already and you should get tremendous amount of credit in doing so. It's hard to bash in all the stuff with boyfriends and schoolwork. I'm sure you're doing a great job in college, you seem like a person who does. I guess.. your mother is kind of harsh on you. But, you're an adult now, you make your decisions.

Answer 4

First of all I agree , you sound like you have your head on straight. Now about your mom , I think the two of you need to sit down and have a heart to heart. As a parent we are always afraid our children are going to make the wrong choice about a lot of things but that's just us being a parent. Talk , listen and find out whats really going on with your mom. Good Luck

Answer 5

She shouldn't be allowed to ***** at you. You're 18, a legal adult and obviously very responsible. You should have a heart to heart talk with your Mom about your life and relationships. And ask her why she doesn't like you to have close guy friends. If you do get her to relax about you having a boyfriend you should have him and her meet. If he's as responsible as you are, and polite, respectful and mature, she should like him. Tell her how much you care about him and if she and your boyfriend do meet, have him explain to her how he really feels about you and how he will treat you. I'm 17 and my Mom would get upset when I went out on a date because she didn't know anything about the guy. I'm in a serious relationship now, and she knows my boyfriend really well. He respects my Mom and I, and also cares about how my Dad feels about him because he really cares about me and my family. My Mom likes how he can talk to her about anything going on between us that she might be concerned with. Talking in a calm and mature way with your parents about sensitive issues always works. Good luck with your new boyfriend and you Mom!

Answer 6

She became hysterical?
That is symptomatic of deep down the situation is scary and she feels it is out of her control.
That leaves you responsible for her fantasies - which in reality you arent.
Does that make sense? I hope so.
Just remember at 18 you lack experience - by definition. She is being protective.
Did your mom have a bad experience at your age? That might make her over protective.
Be glad you are loved. Even if it is a little stifleing.

Answer 7

Theer are two kind of people in this world
first one learn from thier experiences and bear loss
And second category learn from parent/elder people experience
and Well if u r of 18 ur mother also pass fro this stage .So i would say better to learn from mother experience because a mother can never think bad for her child.
:-)

Answer 8

Mayby you mum is just trying to protect you if it is such an issue with her talk to her and ask her why it is such a big deal just remind your mum that it is your house and you have a right to a life as well. You may find out your mum has some underlying issues within herself. Stand up to yourself and tell you mum you are allowed to have friend male or female if she has a problem with it she has to learn to deal with it.

Answer 9

i dont get why she yelled?? Was he a bad person or was she just upset that you were spending more time with him than her? i'm not understanding...you're an adult and you should be able to date and have guy friends if you want. Who cares?? As long as he's not abusive an making you make bad decisions, be happy. It's your life not hers

Answer 10

Sounds like you are mistaking a "new guy" for a "boyfriend". What was your track record with the former "boyfriend(s)"? Maybe she has reason for concern. I'm thinking she is trying to prevent you from experiencing more grief or trying to prevent some.